R.I.P. Keith Jones aka Onlyme/Noworries

[Vince B]

Keith describes the Han-d-Gas device that he had so much fun with.

 onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #211 on: March 24, 2005, 12:15:25 PM » Quote 

No that's not it Max.  That one sucks compared to this one.  I have one in my car, if I remember I will take a pic of it and put it up.  This is cylinder in shape about 1.5" in diameter and about 2.5 tall.  It is rubber with hard plastic top and bottom.  Someone tried to copy it and that one sucks too.  The guy who inventer was 63 years old was an ex-pro golfer.  He had arthritis and wanted to keep playing golf.  So he made this little rubber bag thing he could easily hold in his hand and squeeze.  Well it was too hard because it was filled air and it wouldn;t give way when he squeezed it.  So he put a hole in the top.  he found out that when he sqeezed it he had to position his hand just right to let the air out and it made a farting noise.  Well after several variation he came up with the Han-D-Gas.  He has sold thousands of them.  Me and Leslie would go all over Mission Bay everytime we went out to eat and fart on people.  I remember waiting in line at the bank with friend.  So boring waiting in line so I started farting.  After awhile everyone knew I had it and was egging me on to fart on all the new people that walked into the bank.  The  funniest time ever in bank I am sure any of these people had.  I will tell you the story when I was walking down the venice boardwalk farting.  I literally had 30+ people following me with cameras talking pictures and video of me.  Now this had allot of bodybuilders involved cause I farted on everyone and their were plenty down there.  I even had 3 cops following me cracking up so hard that they thought they better hang around in case something bad happens.  I got a million of them each of them gut-busters.  If you had one you'd understand.

[JasonH]

Keith's stories are awesome - he's certainly lived an interesting life and met some famous people.

However, I don't see Jonesy from Police Academy's name mentioned anywhere (maybe I missed it). Did Keith genuinely sit beside him at a charity event or was that just a mock-up by Getbiggers to bag him for name-dropping?

[Vince B]

Being mistaken for Brutus the Barber Beefcake.

 Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #213 on: March 24, 2005, 12:54:06 PM » Quote  

I was never mistaken for "The Body" Ventura, but when Hulk was in town wrestling we trained together at the old World Gym here.  if you ever wanted to see a "get-down" gym then this is it.  Anyway I was doing cables with him.  First off the gym was open 24 hours a day.  It had allot of the gym open to the elements (outside) and some more encased in a chained linked fence.  Well the cables are located in an area facing the main street (Ala Wai Canal) and only had the fence in front.  SO you could see in as well as out.  So we are doing the cables and these people walk by and see Hulk right away.  Well that weekend he was supposed to wrestle with or against Brutus the Barber Beefcake.  Well just before that trip he got in a horrible accident.  I am sure someone knows more than me but I think basically he was techinng someone to water ski.  he was holding them up in the water keeping them stead on the skis.  Well he yell "Go" and the boat took off and the skier went right over his face and the fin on the bottom of the ski went right across the front of his head splitting it wide open.  This is kind of what I heard happened.  Maybe someone else knows more.  He also had a beautiful girlfriend (or wife I later found out) that i would rather not go into.  That's her in the pic.  She worked at Hooters and was in Playboy.  What memories.  Anyway, so me and Hulk were training and these peole come up and go crazy over seeing.  They looked at me and though I was The Beefcake.  I gave them my autograph and signed is Brutal 'The Barber" Cheesecake.  It's funny cause I was thinking of doing that but didn't mean too when I signed it but could'nt say I made a mistake.  So that was the only time as a wrestler.  I have to tell you the Big John Studd Story and the Kazmaier.  In fact Kazmair story is next cause I know you guys will love that one.  Just imagine me and him together.  Sorry about the pic being so small but it was in one of those funny frames where there are allot of pictures.  And yes I am smooth but you have to realize I was eating Hooters (literally) everyday.  They sponosred me so i got free food.  Plus I am about 305 there with a little vascualrity in the forearm.  usually i have allot more but only there

[Vince B]

Story about big Bill Kazmaier the powerlifter.

Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #217 on: March 24, 2005, 01:59:28 PM » Quote 

Okay here is another long story.  Kazmaier is a good friend and a great guy.  He has come to Hawaii on a few occasions to help me with things I have promoted.  Plus we share the same birthday so we send birthday e-cards to each other.   Anyway, the first time he came here for me was back in 1990 or 91'.  We were promoting the 1st Gold's Gym Bodybuilding Contest here along with a few other promotions including a great tug-a-war contest I was doing.

Well, me and a friend of mine decided to take Bill on a tour of Oahu,  At the time I had a nice 4x4 Bronco.  So, myself and Bill are in the front.  We are driving around and ended up in Waikiki.  We’re driving down Kalakaua Ave, (the street along Waikiki Beach) and was turning left at the zoo.  It was a yellow light. So I went, cause I learned to make rights on yellows.  Well in Waikiki the police drive around in those 3-wheel Cushman buggies.  So I hear a siren behind me.  I go about 100’ and pull into a short driveway next to the zoo.  Now when I get pulled over I like getting out of the car immediately cause it seems to get more respect from the cop.  So I did.  Well I hear this “sir get back into the vehicle” from the little buggy.  I said no it is too small and I want to stand out here.  So now he is a little pissed and he gets out of his buggy.  Then Big Bill gets out.  I swear to god no way in hell this guy weighed more than 135 and was about 5’4” oriental.  I told him don’t worry I am not going to do anything.  He starts to asks us again to get in the car.  Bill now says “I’m not staying in that fucking car you’ll have to handcuff me.”  Well he grabs his radio thing near his shoulder and calls for assistance.  In about 5 seconds I think there was about 4 more of those buggys and 3 or 4 regular cars. There was maybe 12 cops there. First they see me and they all know me.  I have done so many thing here and been on TV and everything so they were all cool to me.  Then they notice Bill.  They went crazy.  They told the little cop guy do you who these guys are and they introduce me and then Bill as the Worlds Strongest Man. The little cop felt so bad.  So now we are on the side of the zoo with a crowd coming together signing autographs for everyone.  They let us go.  It was really funny to see the little guys face when Bill told him he wasn’t going back into the car, cause Bill kind of yelled it at him and sounded mean.

In relation to Bill at the gym.  Everyone couldn’t wait for him to get there to train.  He shows up and we decide to do arms.  So I do my little warm-ups with the girly weights, while Bill goes over nears the end of the rack and picks up the 100’s.  He takes them and does about 20 full biceps curls like they were nothing to warmup.  Eevryone in the gym was standing there with their mouths wide open.  They couldn’t believe it.  The next day he did a little bench.  I asked him how much he can do now and he just said he doesn’t go really heavy right now.  Well he did go up to 405.  the only thing is that he did 30 of them and had more in him.  He told me he has done 50 reps with 400 before.  Unreal.  I felt like a little kid working out with him

I remember the hotel we put him up in was the Tahitian Lanai.  It was one of the oldest hotels in Honolulu and in fact is gone now.  It was all Gold’s Gym was going to pay for.  Well you have to imagine what it looked like.  Very old only two story’s on the beach and very local looking.  Plus it had no A/C and no front doors to close only a screen door.  I never looked inside before.  Bill calls me and tells me he will pay for his own flight home if I don’t get him out of there.  So I ended up having to pay for the Illikai which was about $200 a night rather than the bargin of $75 a night at the Tahitian Lanai.  Oh well Bill is worth the upgrade.

The pics are from the Arnold a couple years ago and the other is from the tug-a-war.  The other guy is Norm Compton who was Stallone bodyguard and Dolly Parton’s.  He also acts a lot.

You know Max you are right.  I am ttying to think while I type.  I can type pretty fast as long as you don't count the mistakes like in typing class.  And no I woudl rather not talk about Kristen and yes she has one of the most incredible bodies.  Hell she was in Playboy.  Plus she took 1st place at the bikini contest I judged. 

[Vince B]

Keith met big John Studd the wrestler.

Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #224 on: March 24, 2005, 07:01:25 PM » Quote 

Wes that was good about Arcidi.  he was the original monster bencher (besides Kaz).  He came to Hawaii numerous time to compete in the World Record Breakers Gus Retwisch promoted.   

Also, Wes you have a really nice website.  I took this pic cause it is so awesome from their.  If you are mad or I did somethign wrong tell me and I will take ot off.  It's just I saw it and I couldn't believe his neck. 

Wrestlers by the most part are all bigger iin person it seems like.  I did an appearance in Miami back inn 89 I think and met Big John Studd.  In fact we all went to dinner and he taught me how to eat lobster cause I neevr had it before.  Never wanted it but he made me eat it.  It was okay.  We became friends and our paths crossed again around 1990 or so when we were both up for a lead in some movie with Kim Basinger.  In fact the castng calls me and tells me it looks good for me so make some room to come in the next day.  Well she calls me the next morning to tell me that a guy named Big John Studd came in and the executives thought he was awesome so theu gave him the part.    Again in 1992 or so I brought him to Hawaii to help promote a show.  Even with his really bad knees he particiapted in the4 Walk-a-thon we did for MD.  He walked 5 miles.  I felt so bad for him.  he was in so much paid. I offered to pick him up so he didn't have to walk but he said no.  he later died not to much longer after that.  he wife called me to tell me.  He was just getting a line of supplements into the military.  All the wrestlers I have met have all been really nice even though they are the size of a house.

The other is the pic is Mike Kozlowski fromt he Miami Dolphins.  We were all on some local TV magazine show.  I can't remember, but Jhon grabbed the mike and wanted to play interviewer.  Look at the size of him.

[Vince B]

A Fort Lauderdale story where the Han-d-Gas won him a gal!

 Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #239 on: March 25, 2005, 08:38:33 PM » Quote 

dknole you are in Lauderdale?  I love that place.  I had some of the best times in their.  The Days Inn gave me a suite their for 3 months.  At the same time I had a place at the Bahia Mar? The owner was a freind of mine I met a Golf/Tennis Tournament I played in Boca Raton.  So he said as long as I was inn Lauderdale he'd give me a room.  I actually used the room to meet up with.......well girls.  There was this lady (about 28) who visited Lauderdale about once a week.  Her husband was a fire chief down in Miami and was a tall Kenny Rodgers lookalike.  Well that was some good times.

A short "fart machine" story.  At the Bahia my room was ground floor and the jacquzzi was located about 15' from my front door.  I am inside my room with the door open when all of a sudden it starts pouring rain so hard.  Thunderwas so loud.  Anyway, I am laying on the bed watching Tv when all of a sudden this thin black girl is standing in my doorway with a little skimpy bikini on hugging her towel.  After a couple seconds I start using my fart machine.  So turns around almost crying and I said whats wrong and showed her it was fake and only a fart machine.  She comes inside while saying and sits on the edge of the bed.  I showed her the machine.  She starts telling me about her little sister was killed in a jacquzzi during a rainstorm and that she was afraid to be outside.  So I talk to her for awhile and we are getting to know each other.  Back then I hardly ever wore anything in my hotel room except a towel.  This was no exception. Anyway about 30 minutes or so later my manager comes by to see what I was doing later.  I introduce them and I told him lets go to City Limits (my favorite club there, is it still there).  Anyway I am kind of signling to him to leave cause I think me and this girl are getting along really good.  SO finally, he leaves.  So we start talking a little more and then all of a sudden we kiss. 

Well right away my friend "Moby" is awaken wondering what's up.  So I get up really quick to go close the door and the towel comes off and I catch it, but kind of late.  I was embarrased to say the least but she says to me "nice".  So I run over to the door slam it shut and without any further ado we did.  We'll we ended up being together for about a couple weeks.  She was a regular at City Limits I found out.  And was pretty well known there  if you knwo what I mean.  So the conquest was really lowered after I found out.  but it was fun anyway.  I love Lauderdale.  I heard The Candy Store has been gone for awhile.  Mona Frank was a hottie from that place.  Man I miss that place.

[Vince B]

A story about the zany Barbarian Brothers.

 Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #240 on: March 25, 2005, 08:53:15 PM » Quote 

619 yes I remember that.  I asked them what happened in that case and from what they told me was that parking spot was were they parked all the time.  If I recall i think it was outside their condo or something like that.  There wasn't enough room to park so they moved her car.  I think they damaged her bumper by lifting it and putting it on the curb.  I saw that episode.  That is how they dressed all the time.  Another car incident was when they were driving on the 405 around Sunset and they were in thier Jeep.  Somehow they were arguing and can't remeber who was driving but they ended up driving off the side of the freeway down a little embankment into a bunch of ivy.  Well I guess it started a nice traffic jam.  After argueing for a little longer they both got out of the jeep and pushed it back up the enbankment onto the freeway.

MAx remeber when they used to come to Tequilla Willies.  We used to serve 32 oz. margarita's there called Manhattan Maggies.  They would always have one in each hand.  One day David is carrying around a gallon of ice cream and eating it in the club. He ate the whole gallon by himself.  One night we were really busy and out front was packed with cars.  Well the twins drive up on the sidewalk honking at everyone to get out of the way.  They drove right next to a security guard for the mall and honked their horn and scared the living shit out of them and then took off.  They were nuts.

[Vince B]

Another Barbarian Bros story.

 Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #244 on: March 26, 2005, 02:12:36 PM » Quote 

Thanks dknole, I may take you up on that someday.  And back at you if you're ever around these parts.  Oh, is the Chrome Parrot still there and Shooters.  I remember when I played in that tennis/golf tournament in Boca we had a party on the yacht "Monkey Business".  We ended up going to Shooters too.  I thought it was neat how they had valet guys too park your your yacht.  I had a guy take me out on his Cigarette boat just about anytime I wanted.  In fact I saw it on tv not to long ago,  I remember the boats name was Crazy Greg's or something like that.  It was green.  Man those are fun boats.  We'd jump other boats wakes and get air.  I drove it some and that thing flew.

Well here is a Barbarian Story and Pete G.  We are in Hilo (a different time that the buffet story) and we are there promoting the Twins movie TwinSitters.  We decide to take the twins and Pete around and show them the sites of that side of the island.  Allot of jungle on that side and allot of waterfalls.  But Akaka Falls is about the highest.  We have to park the car and walk maybe 1/2 mile or so.  The place is packed with tourist and allot of Japanese.  They are all taking our pics especially the Twins cause they are pretty popular in Japan.  And itr was so funny when they would pic some of the female japanese up cause the girls were so afraid,

Ao anyway we get to the falls and taking some pics.  Well all of a sudden David jumps over the railing on the trail.  First off Pete went absoulutly crazy telling David to get back that is was too dangerous.  It was a straight down fall of about 200' easy.  The only thing was some shrubs and vines to hang onto.  This whole time Pete and the others are yelling at David to get back.  He starts doing a King Kong imitation and jumping around like a big gorilla.  Now we have at least 20 or more people there watching David. Either they were amused by the King Kong imitation since he kicked Godzilla's ass in all those Japanese movies or they were waiting for him to fall.  Well about at least 5 minutes later (oh and he started to sing) he finally comes back.  Pete is telling him how stupid he was and he almost had a heart attack,  And David just thought it was another day.  It was funny to see in person this huge guy being a gorilla hanging off a cliff that easily could have given way and he had no thought of it being dangerous.

Now I don't if any of you know it but the Twins are very musically talented.  They even had a CD made adn some of the music is really good.  They kind of gangster rap.  they have songs like "War with the Weights", "What you Looking At" and others.  They have beat to them and great to train too,  They even made one with Weider as the main topic.

So with that in mind.  We did a couple of high school appearance while on the Big Island.  The schools set up assemblies for us to come speak to the kids and sign autographs.  SO at one school in particular we had some kind of day.  First they scheduled the assembly right after lunch.  SO they invited us to come eat in the cafeteria with the teachers.  When we got there is was a riot.  We were walking through the school to the cafeteria and every class would get out and yell at us and scream it was like a rock concert.  So we get to the cafeteria and the kids start coming in.  You know at schools you get a certain amount of food on your plate.  Not us we used our trays for the food.  And I swear we packed a whole tray just with milk.  So of course all the kids saw us and want to be by us.  So within a minute or two we have about 50 kids surrounding us watching us eat.  These kids were so amazaed how much food we had.  Most of it the twins ate by the way.  Anyway, now lunch is over and the teachers tell the kids to get to class.  So everyone leaves and I’m sure everyone was late because no one was leaving at any pace whatsoever.   

So now the teachers escort us out onto this elevated stage they set up against a wall of one of the buildings.  Well now here come the kids.  It was a school wide event so everyone was there including every teacher and even allot of parents.  I would say close to 2000 people total.  SO we each have a microphone and are talking to the kids and answering questions.  Then David says they have some songs the want to sing.  The first song is the Harley Davidson song.  It is really good if you haven’t heard it.  Especially when you consider the twins wrote it are singing it.  Who’d thought?  Anyway everyone is going crazy in the crowd.  You have to remember that we are in a location that does not ever get anybody to come and speak and for 99% of these kids they have never met any kind of celebrity except for maybe there uncle during visiting hours in the local prison for murder.  It was really great.  SO there is a part of the song where David is pretending to ride a Harley.  So he girates his hips and the place went balastic.  Then Peter does it and even more ballistic.  It was truly a small rock concert.

Then after that they sing a song called “What’s you looking at”.  So they asked someone out of the crowd to come up on stage.  So some guy gets volunteered by his friends.  So right away this guy turns into an instant celebrity.  So they start singing and it is a tough guy kind of song.  And they are going up and down the stage singing to the crowd and this kid.  When all of a sudden the words “what’s you looking at” come up and both the twins turn to this guy about an inch away and yell at him “WHAT”S YOU LOOKING AT”.  I swear to god this kid just about pissed his pants and started crying.  He was so scared and the crowd started to bust up.  He was so scared.  So anyway by the end of the song this guy shivered about 20 lbs. off of himself.

So about an hour later or so the show is over.  The principal comes up to thank us for coming to their school and the kids yelled and it was great.  So now we leave the stage and the kids are following us.  The principal is yelling over the mike to go to class but no one is listening.  We are even telling them to go to class but no one was leaving.  Well what happened was the principal decided since the kids were so good during the event and everything else he gave them all the rest of the day off.  The kids again went balastic.  Well we finally got out of there about another hour later.  It was allot of fun.  I have some of there music on my computer I will see what I can do to put it up so you can hear it.  It really isn’t that bad.

[Vince B]

The funny Han-d-Gas story in the elevator! This one is a classic.

Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #248 on: March 26, 2005, 08:44:41 PM » Quote 

Thanks Lodz, all these stories as amuzing as they are, are all true.  When I write them I even start laughing sometimes cause I go over them and see how really funny they were.  I think Kevin was with us at Alan's wedding.  Were you Kevin.  And if you ever see Pete ask about me and Alan Inchinose wedding party and then the club afterwards.  He'll start rolling on the floor.  And especially the restaurant, that my my all time favorite.  I have used that machine is just about any situation you can think of except a courtroom.  I have had it on me but never had enough balls to do it there.

Okay here are a few "Fart Machine" stories.  Me, Pete G. and his friend just had dinner at a fancy restaurant on top of a hotel in Honolulu.  Everyone was Japanese but us, it seemed like.  I knew the owner of this restaurant (and I never used the machine in there).  Anyway after about a $500 dinner we decided to go downstairs to the nightclub.  So we take the elevator down. So 6 or 7 other people get in.  Right way I have an idea.  We are all going to the bottom floor.  So I decide to have fun.  Now you know my size.  I push a few buttons to make the ride a little longer.  I start to talk but I almost certain they didn’t know what I was saying.  Saw I give that international look of being a little sick.  So they are looking at me in concern.(cause their eyes were squinting a little) and I let out this pretty big loud fart.  They jump back and start talking really fast.  The doors open to a floor I am in the way so no one can leave then they close and we go down more.  I fart again and again.  One of the older Japanese guys is holding his nose and you can tell a couple others were holding there breath.  Pete say to them what are you going to do hold your breath the whole way.  So Pete and his friend are laughing the others are holding their breath and I keep farting.  It was our own little party in the elevator.  It was so funny when we got out at the bottom.  I stood in the doorway for a couple of seconds and one of the older ladies is pushing me.  It was so funny.  When they got at the bottom there were several other Japanese waiting to get on the elevator.  All those that took that horrible ride with us stopped to talk to them. Every Japanese person in the lobby was looking at me.  It was so funny if you saw it. 

Another one in So. Cal.  I was having lunch with a couple of my friends.  One of them is still the holder for being the youngest person to ever compete in the WSM at just 19 years old.  Our other friend was a very wealthy businessman who had several cars including a beautiful Ferrari Boxer.  We are eating at California Pizza Kitchen a great place to eat,  The place is about ¾ full.  Well we’re sitting there and there is a table of four girls next us and a couple other table with people.  The waitress comes over to take our order.  (Now I got this move from Leslie Nielson when we went to dinner one time in San Diego.)  She is standing next to me and I knock a fork off the table which goes below her.  She backs up to pick it up and I hold my fart machine behind her butt and fart.  Now for some reason she didn’t hear it (or maybe she did) but the table on the other side of her heard it fine.  I look at them like wow can you believe she farted.  Anyway, my two friends are laughing and we order.  Then I start to fart a little.  Sometimes I mix in a story why I am farting so much.  Most of the time I can’t stop because I just had a hemroidectomy.  So I tell these girls next to us it’s a medical problem and I can’t stop. So they are calling me a pig and sick and all those cool pet names, ignoring the fact it could be a serious medical problem.  Then the other table next to them are getting on me.  So now my other friend who gets a little embarrassed tells me to show them the machine.  So finally I do.  Well they still are on me even when I show them it’s fake.  So my one friend says you don’t like it then leave.  We all figure if they don’t have a sense of humor to bad.  SO when the waitress comes back they ask her to move them.  So now we are the only ones back in this girls area.  A little longer story shorter.  My rich friend took care her by giving her a $100 tip.  I’ve also been kicked out of two buffets.  The good thing is that we ate allot already and both places gave us back our money.

[Vince B]

Pete Grymkowski was a good mate and a big tipper.

Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #253 on: March 27, 2005, 05:04:58 PM » Quote 

MAx, Tommy the Moron.  Is that guy something.  he lives in Vegas in a small $300+ a month apratment.  I know Pete was paying his rent for awhile and may still be.  Tommy went out with us to a real fancy Italian restaurant over by the Hard Rock Hotel.  He was so nice during dinner.  He made a few noises and faces but when he got outside he went beserk. He kept telling us he couldn't wait to gwet out of there.  He is closterphobic (?) or something.  Lind (Pete's girlfriend for 18 years ) was with us.  She kept kicking me to look at The Moron when he did something.  It took about a minute of staring and playing with his food before he began to eat it. it

On another night me, Pete, Linda (were you there Kevin), Paul (Petes bro), and a few others went to dinner at a french restaurant in the Venetian (Brasirre? or something).  Anyway right away I am not that fond of french food.  So, I am looking for anything chicken.  The majority of the menu was n french.  I saw the word shortbread but decided maybe for dessert.  Well I find out shortbread was sheep brains.  Pete orders like 5 of them for apetizers for everyone.  He tried so hard to get me to eat that crap but I never did.

Kevin remember Pete playing Roulette.  I got him a suite at The Orleans for free one time when he came to see me.  He liked staying at the Bellagio but he wantred to be where I was.  So he felt guilty and left about $80,000 in tips to the dealers. 

Max, you might know these people.  Kevin I think you were there.  It was the seoncd to the last Gold's COnvention pete was involved with.  He was staying the host hotel, The Rio.  They gave him one of those 3 story suites had it's own gym in it and it was easily a few thousand dollars a night.  Well there was some intereting people at this convention Pete wanted me to meet.  A hint Max, they were all Italian (real Italians if you know what I mean).  One of his best friends is ? "G......" (his son was born at the same hospital and time as Pete's daughter).  And there was about 6 or 7 others in the suite but I can' remember any of there names and didn't want too.  I do remember when I was introduced to them no one had a regular name.  It was like Johnny "two fingers", or Joey "left nut".  They all had those names.  So someone says (and I think it was you Kevin) to all get in a picture.  So we are posing in front of a couch and one of the guy Lefty Two Ear or whatever says man what would a guy get for this picture.  Then as these guys were talking I kept hearing them asking about others.  Like have you heard from Johnny "No eyes" or whatever and each time you'd hear a guy say "got whacked".  It was funny but a little scary too.  So as we were leaving the suite to go to dinner someone knocks over an expensive looking vase.  The guy gets kind of scared becasue he thinks he has to pay for it now.  Pete says "no don't woory about it, now I don't feel so guilty about getting the room for free."  Pete always felt guilty if he got someothing for free.  I think that's why he tips so good.

Also, I heard Pete left over $200,000 in tips at the Roulette wheel that weekend.  But, the guy who owns the Gold's in Japan left close to $400,000.  Remember Pete's Funny Car at the entrance to the expo.

[Vince B]

Blowing up a hot water bottle.

 Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #257 on: March 27, 2005, 09:01:18 PM » Quote 

Ah yes the water bottle.  Well I was the spokeperson for the American Lung Association and was luckily enough to be flown all over the islands for appearances and speking engagements.  It seemed that everyone likes it.  Well first off I use the heaviest gauge rubber they make bottles out of with the strenthing ribs.  Unlike Franco, who is one of my idols used the smaller gauge and that is why it pops so fast and it doesn't get very big.  I have video of me doing it and it gets huge.  It takes usualyy between 30 and 40 breaths to pop.

I remember when Lee Haney came to Gold's in Honolulu for one of our parties.  He grabbed a water bottle I had and tried to blow it up.  I almost had to stop him cause evbery vein that can be seen in his head was bulging.  kaz and me did a show over hear called The Hawaiian Moving Co. which is the #1 watched show in Hawaii.  He wouldn't try it for some reason.  Whenever I did an exhibition I always told a story about the water bottle and how dangerous it is and stuff.

Well one of the most popular singers in Hawaii Henry Kapono asked me to open his concert at the Waikiki Shell for him.  Plus it was a benefit concert for MDA for whom I was a spokesperson too.  SO I go out on stage with about 8,000 people in the audience.  I just telling how dangerous it was to do this and I also had several people come up on stage and try it.  Of course no one did it.  So I am up on an elevated stage with the first row about 10' in front of me.  I tell everyone how hard it is and that sometimes because of how many breaths it takes and the difficulty that I sometimes spit in the bottle and when it breaks the spit goes flying all over.  SO I warn the first couple rows to watch out.  SO now I go behind me and I have a water bottle with water in it.  I say a couple of cups.  No one knows it in their even the people in the back stage area.  I start blowing and blowing and after about 15 breath the bottle starts to get big.  Now I have nearly everyone cheering me on.  It is really loud from the crown and actually hard for me to concentrate.  Finally it bursts.  The see the front few rows scaterring from all the spit (water) and the crowd soes that ohhhhhhhhhh sound claps and yells start up and they are going crazy.  the people in the front are covered with what they think is spit.  I bend down to tell them it's just water and they all laugh.  Henry comes out now with a crowd that is going ballastic thanks me and opens the concert with one of his favorite songs.  he later told me that is was the best opening act he had ever had.

I was also used to start a marathon here in Honolulu.  They used the pop from the balloon instead of a starters gun.  The pic below is from a challenge I di to help raise some money to help an FBI agent daughter I knew with Leukemia.  I offered to donate $5,000 to anyone who could beat me in popping the bottle.  No one beat me.  And we had some of the strongest guys in Hawaii trying.  Then I offered to donate $2,000 to the cause if anyone popped the bottle.  I think one person did.  Not sure who though.  I do forget some things.  but I do remeber donating money so someone had to have done it.  It took along time though.  This had to have been in 1993 cause I have a cast on from playing in a racquetball tourn. in LA.

[Vince B]

Keith talks about meeting the great Sergio Oliva.

  Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #264 on: March 28, 2005, 11:03:02 AM » Quote 

That woudl be great kevin.  Lets do it.  I'll put up the $'s......NOT!  But it would be great to do someothing like that.  The important thng about that is the publishing company or magazine.  You have to have something like that on your side so you can get the word out.  Weider had it all worked out good on that end.  He had his supplement company, BB shows, and his magazine that other companies were payng for so he could promote and advertise his shows and products.  It's perfect. Let the advertisers pay for all your marketing of your own products and shows.  It's perfect.

Kevin I remeber J.E. askng yoiu to go get Sergio cause he gets lost all the time.  Then I spent the next several hours with him.  I had so much fun and heard so many stories from Sergio.  We bonded really good.  I wanted to bring him to my show but I guess we didn't bond that welll cause the appearance fee was still $5,000 plus expenses.  He was impressed with my arms I remember.  He had a suitcase with allot of pictures and posters in it.  He woudl spread them out on the table and sell them.

I noticed at first when some people saw him they didn't immediately recognize him till they looked down and saw the pics and posters.  Then I would see their faces and they would light up immediately.  He had no problem selling his pics and posters.  He wore an old looking suit like from the 70's kind of cuban style. 

I had him rolling on the floor when I was yelling to the crowd that Arnold was the White Sergio.  I did get out of the conversation that he really hated Weider.  He told me the story about what Weider did to him in South Africa ( if I recall right).  The athetes were doing some promotion out by the pool at the hotel.  All the press and dignataries and guests were there to meet the athletes.  They were all basically in the same area.  Well Weider sets up Sergio's table on the other side of the pool.  Back then they sold their pictures too.  Weider wanted the attention to go to Arnold I guess.  But Sergio told me it backfired because he ended up with more people around his table and buying pictures than all the others put together.  I think I would have asked him more questions but I was just there helping him out and really didn't want to bother him.  I don't really think about how much I idolized him as I was with him.  You know what I mean.  I didn't think thiings to ask him till the show was over.  I had too much on my mind to begin with.  So I wish I had that moment back and I woudl have asked him more questions.

Sergio had a huge laugh when Arnold came by where we were.  For the people who have been to that show, a huge crowd follows Arnold all over the place.  After he was done with Sergio and was leaving I yelled out "There goes Arnold Schwarzenneggar (?) the White Sergio!"  Not sure if Arnold heard it (but I find it hard to believe he didn't cause I am really loud) but Sergio was rolling.  He was hitting me and grabbing me and laughing so hard saying "I can't believe you man, you're crazy."  SO as people were passing by following Arnold I was yelling "why follow the white sergio when you can see the original".  I was jsut yelling stuff right and left.  It was fun.  And I know Sergio had allot of fun

[Vince B]

Meeting Tony 'the Viking' Halme.

 Re: onlyme, Max_rep, others: tell your favorite stories
« Reply #266 on: March 28, 2005, 02:34:17 PM » Quote 

SOmeone brought up Tony "The Viking" Halme.  If you train at teh Venice Gold's you probably know him or at least seen him.  I met Tony around 1988 or so through my uncle Joe.  Joe had his own jet (a British Hawker) and I usually went to Vegas with him when I had time.  So one time I went he introduced me to Tony and his wife (who ran CrazyWear).  We were eating breakfast at the Barbary Coast.  Well the keno girl comes by.  I tell Tony to play he says no then I told why not go ahead and finally he does.  He gives the girl a $20 but wants to only play $5.  Is aid you cheap bastard he says I don't want to throw away money.  Now Tony talks in a heavy finnish accent kind of like Arnold but not like that.  He is 6'4" and around 340 lbs. and very mean looking.  So he plays and I play for $5 too.  Well I swear to god he hits wins.  The SOB won $5,000 playing keno at breakfast and it was the first time he ever bet.  I swear to god.  I remeber he had this huge 4x4 that had a grenade hanging from the mirror and it had no top.  It had a sign on it to beware of the car alarm.  I see it and I say what is this (pointing at the sign).  He hits the side of his truck with his fist.  And out from the seats comes this f**king 120 lb Pitfull with a spiked collar and all barking and growling.  It was on a leash just long enough to reach the each of the truck.  man that scared the hell out me.  He was a big guy.  He ended up living above the Legends Sports Bar who sponsored both of us.  Then I think he bought a house in Manhattan Beach now.  Not sure what he is doinng.  I seen some video of him boxing in Europe.  He was so huge he knocked guys literally out of the ring.

He introduced me to his countrymen Marjo and Hannu Selin.  We met at the restaurant near Knotts Berry Farm where you eat with a bunch of people in grandstands and watch people joust with horses (just remembered Medivel times).  Well afterwards we went to the stables to see the horse.  Now Marjo and Hannu I think just moved there and knew english but not all that well.  So I am trying my best to be a great representative of the U.S. to my new friends from a foreign land.  So as Marjo is taking pictures of us one of the horses has got this huge hard-on.  It was behinnd me and when people were looking at me I thought I had someting hanging out of my pants.  So anyway, I see this huge thing hanging.  So with my huge amount of creativeness I had an idea for a great pic.  So I tell Marjo to take a pic of me.  I jump over the stall door into the pen with my cousin Long Dong Horsey.  I get down on my knees to pretend I am make him feel better (now it wass for a visual, no actual touching occured).  Well I had about 100 people now taking pics of me and my new friend.  I am really surprised a photo of thishasn't surfaced.  Anyway, I reccommend this place to eat cause it's fun.  And say hi to my cousin for me.

Here are a couple of pics of Tony.  That's me and him doing a speaking thing at Castle High on Oahu.  The guy between us is tghe guy who puts it all on.  Me and Tony got alot of attention from the girls at this school.  In fact a few of them definitely liked to talk with their hands if you know what I mean.  So, the guy told us to knock it off.  We had better listen cause he was a cop.

[Vince B]

A story about Flex Wheeler.

 Re: Tell your favorite stories re pros/legends
« Reply #457 on: May 17, 2005, 01:16:06 PM » Quote  

Man I can't belive the crap I have gone through with a computer and internet over the past month.  I finally got a computer and my DSl was to be hooked up on the 13th but they made a mistake and now not till the 23rd.  So I am actually using dialup at home till then.  What a nightmare.  It takes minutes for these pages to load.  but at least I am back up.

Alot going on here since I've been gone.  Kevin (stuntmovie) is going like gangbusters.  I have to catch up.  

A quik story about Flex when he came to Hawaii for my show.  I am not going to get to in-depth cause i like Flex.  In short Flex wanted to rent a Ferarri F40 for a day while he was in town for my show.  I got a discount so it only cost $660 for a 24 hour period.  It was  beautiful car as you might expect.  later that night out in front of the hotel.  Myself, Grymko, Quincy Taylor, Nasser, Shawn, and a few others were talking and seeing what everyone was going to do.  Flex pulls up in this beautiful car revving it like an Indy car driver getting ready to pullout of the pits.  Now this car is surprissingy pretty loud.  Well after a few minutes of talking everyone decided to do whatever.  Well Flex jumps back into the red racer and all of us are yelling at him to burn rubber.  Well, after about 5 seconds at 8,000 rpms and 2000 decibels Flex lets out the clutch at a millimeter at a time and winds the rocket down the driveway in a very dissappointing non-rubber-laying sprint.

Well after an interesting night on the town with Grymko we all retire for the night.  At about 9:00am the next morning I get a hysterical call from my friend who owns the car rental place that rents exotics.  He is screaming at me wanting to know where the Ferarri is.  I told him I have no idea.  He then tells me that he has been getting calls for the past couple hours and reports of a red Ferarri doing some interesting displays of speed in Waikiki.  After numerous expletives that I am embarrased to even put on GetBig, this guy is going crazy and wants his car back.  We hang up and I try to locate our muscled speed demon and finally shows up at the hotel.  In one piece I might add.  Well in short, the guy got his Ferarri back even if it was a little (well maybe a little more) worn.  Luckily new tires weren't that much, compared to the overall cost of the car.

The moral is "if you practice enough, you too can learn how to burn rubber in a $200,000, 200mph sports car."

I have to admit though Flex was great at the show and no one else would have rented that car, except Grymko if he didn't have his Rolls Royce there. And if he did rent it, I'm sure a new one would have to be bought after a night on the town with him behind the wheel.
 

 

[Vince B]

Keith trained in a lot of gyms during his travels. Here is a story about a fancy club in Hong Kong.

 Re: Tell your favorite stories re pros/legends
« Reply #463 on: May 17, 2005, 09:04:23 PM » Quote 

Okay, I've been pretty lucky to train in allot of different gyms aroun the country and in Asia and Mexico.  Each gym was different and each had at least something memorable about it.

When I was in Hong Kong, I got to train at a few places.  The first place was definitely somewhere I would never be a member but I had to try it once especially since it was free.  It was called the Pacific Club and was a member only (limted to 1000) and was the most exclusive place I have ever trained at.  It is located in Kowloon on a pier.  It was the full length of the pier and 5 floors.  When it opened memberships cost as much as $1 million dollars and an annual fee.  So I got to go while I was there cause I knew somebody.  First off you go in and have to sign all kinds of papers.  They also give you a temporary laminated membership card with your picture and several other stuff that signified what kind of member you are.  Depending on what type of membership you had decided what part of the club you got to use.

Then they assign you a "personal assistant".  This person acts like a personal trainer if you need one among many other duties.  He changes the weights for you, gets you water (filtered in a glass and chilled if you want), brings you the phone if you get a call, and my favorite... wipes your sweat off your body and equipment.  If he wipes off the equipment he always went and got another towel.  I swear to god this place was ridiculous. 

Anyway, I was told I couldn't make much noise when I lifted.  i don't grunt or anything like that anyway.  I also remember I think you had to have a collared shirt (no t-shirts).  I didn't have a collared shirt and they didn;t have XXXL in stock.  But because I was a guest and VIP they waved that rule.  But I could tell they didn't like that cause they would talk about me all the time.  I didn't know what the hell they were saying but I knew.  Anyway, about 45 minutes later the manager came up to me and asked me to come with him.  I thought I was in trouble.  I tried not to sweat and make noise.  So I follow into his office and I see Jackie Chan sitting there.  He stands up and shakes my hand.  I knew who he was even back then.  I knew him from Cannonball Run.  I just remember he was kind of short but very thin.  Anyway, this place was not my favorite place to train.  To stuffy, no real lifters, not to serious, more of a fufu place.  But it was definitely the cleanest place ever.  If you ever go there see if my pic is still in the office.

I have to tell you about the Sports Center there later.

[Vince B]

Keith trained in a huge club in Hong Kong.

 Re: Tell your favorite stories re pros/legends
« Reply #472 on: May 18, 2005, 01:26:55 PM » Quote 

Another Hong Kong story.  I got to train at this complex over there which was huge.  it had a very large gym along with tennis courts, pool area, bowling alleys, huge soccer fields, baseball and driving range and more.  it was huge.  I can't remember the name so if anyone knows it?  So I go in with a guy i met there and he introduced me to several people including the boss.  I never knew what any of these people were saying the whole time I was in Hong kong.  I didn;t learn any words cause they talk so fast.  Well no matter what they were saying it always led to them touching me.  Usually squeezing my arms or poking at my chest.  Anyway, they knew enough english to tell me okay you can train.  Well I was there for about an hour or so.  I would say maybe 50-60 people were in the gym area training. They had allot of pictures of bodybuilders on the walls.  You could tell they were just pics torn out of magazines and either taped, stapled, or pinned on the wall.  They must have had over a hundred of these hanging around.  As large a facility they had mostly old Universal machines and old dumbells.  There was really nothing new or currently made equipment.  but, it got the job done.  I do remember they had 3 bench presses that were the old ones with the narrow bench and the racks were close together so if you put the bar on just a little crooked it would fall off.  They did have one really old Olympic bench.  Anyway, I didn't train like I wanted and wasn't even using any big weight, but all along I had at least 4 people tagging along with me and watching me.  There was one guy who looked like he might have competed.  he looked good but never smiled and in fact never said hi.  Anyway, after training I went to eat at the bowling alley.  Some of the guys came with me.  The only thing I ate mostly over there was anything with chicken.  I was afraid to eat anything else.  Now after eating i was walking and I saw the driving range.  i love golf.  It was upstairs.  It was a really long kind of deck that was over looking the soccer field.  The people would hit the balls onto the soccer field and they had these motorcycle looking things with cages that picked up the balls.  I was wondering if they did this during soccer games.  It was about 6pm.  Anyway, I saw that the area wasn't really long and in fact just over 300 meters accourding to the signs.  So I had to try it.  It was so fun.  Eevryone watched me hit the ball.  I know how to drive a ball.  In fact in a celebrity golf tournament I played in hawaii I took first in the long ball hole.  Well I hit a few over the fence and after that the guy in charge asked me to not use a wood and only an iron.  It was allot of fun.  but if you are ever in Hong Kong you have to go to this place.  It is quite a trip.

Max do you remember Ron Gibson and does anyone have any pics of him.  Remember his forearms and how vascular he was.  I wish someone had pics of Bob Sear.  He looked awesome.  He is still to this day the closet body to Arnold's I have ever seen. 

[pellius]

Thanks Stunt. Very moving. And Vince is right. Keith spent a lot of time here and was considered a major part of the GetBig family.

Right when I moved back to Hawaii after over 20 years in Cali Keith was on his way out to Vegas. Damn, I was really looking forward to him moving back in April which is what he told me was the tentative date.

Too bad when he was here that some people didn't realize what a big heart this big man had. I have to give props to True Adonis for publicly recognizing and acknowledging this and never retaliating against Keith even though he was number 2 on his shit list.

[Vince B]

Doc's Gym in Hawthorne.

 Re: Tell your favorite stories re pros/legends
« Reply #499 on: May 19, 2005, 06:50:18 PM » Quote 

WOW! That is the most awesome pulldown I have ever seen.  The first gym I ever trained at was called Doc's in Hawthorne.  It was built in the backyard at his house by him and some of th local dad's.  It was built in 1960.  It had a boxing ring too.  he used allot of bycycle rims for pulleys.  He was a All-american shot putter way back.  We had allot of old gears for weights. 

Paul "super-strongman' Anderson lived in Hawthorne for awhile and he trained there for a year or two I heard.  A black bald lady boxer named 'The Tiger" trained there too. 

It was definitely a "get-down" gym.  There was also a neat poster of Arnold.  It had his measurements on it.  It also had other info that you could use to see what your measurements would have to be at your height and weight to be in proportion to Arnold.

That was the first gym I ever trained at.  Started back in 1974.  I was still in business till 1994 when Doc died.  Membership was always $20 a month.

[Vince B]

Meeting Pete Grymkowski in Hawaii.

 Re: Tell your favorite stories re pros/legends
« Reply #503 on: May 20, 2005, 12:06:40 PM » Quote 

You know I have known Pete G since 1986 about.  We became very close friends in 1990 when the Honolulu Gold's Gym opened and I was the marketing & promotions director there.  He bought a condo and spent allot of time in hawaii.  We went nearly every night along with the countless meals.  We had great times.  I always knew he was a bodybuilder.  But I never knew how big he used to be.  I mean now he in around 190lbs.   I would have never guessed he weighed 260 lbs. 

I found this link below to some really good pictures of Pete when he competed.  I thought it was great.  How come he lost weight after being so big and I gained weight.  Don't figure. 

I know you guys have great Pete stories.  I will tell some more if you do.  It was never a dull moment when you are with him.


http://clay_b869.tripod.com/GrymkowskiPete/GalleryPGrymkowski.html

[pellius]

Damn Vince! I can't keep up with you. But I have this bookmarked and will keep it forever.

Thank you for the respect, honor and love you have shown for this good man.

[Vince B]

Another Barbarian story.

 Re: Tell your favorite stories re pros/legends
« Reply #508 on: May 20, 2005, 07:17:34 PM » Quote 

i found this pic of he Twins with Pete. 

The twins and myself were promoting their movie Twin Sitters in Hawaii back when it came out.  We went to The Big Island and Maui and did several autograph signings. We had one schedled at a mall on Maui.  My girlfriend came with us to help.  I couldn't believe how popular the twins were.  Literally 500+ people came out for autographs.  My girlifriend was keeping track of the line and escorting people up to the stage and table. 

Blockbuster Video helped sponsor the signings and sent a beautiful girl to help out.  She was assigned to help me in anyway I needed her.  My girlfriend wasn't happy with that but stuck it out. 

Well she (my girlfriend) had a clipboard that I had given her.  I would look up every now and then and one time when I looked up I noticed her reading something.  In about 2 seconds I realized it was a letter to a girl i had written that I met while shooting a movie in San Diego (Dangerous Curves).  She had left hawaii a few weeks before visiting me.  Well my girlfriend came over to me and threw the letter at me and said f**k you and she left.  i didn't do anything cause what could I do.  She flew back to Oahu.  Well the twins started laughing and making fun of me for getting dissed by my girlfriend.  The girl from Blockbuster says "so does this mean you don't have a girlfriend now"?  Peter says 'well he doesn't now"!  I said yep it appears that way.  She says great!

So we finish the sigining and go to dinner in Lahaina.  The girl comes with us.  as we are walking down the main strip everyone is yelling at the twins and cars are stopping.  We ended up having the cops escort us back to our cars after we ate. 

We go back to the hotel room.  My room is right next to the twins room.  (this was the trip where they tried to convince me to have breakfast with them...a diet orange soda, tuna, eggs, and protein powder shake).  They are trying to convince me to leave the door between our rooms open so they can watch me with the girl.  It didn't happen.  I had a great night with the girl and I actually ended up seeing her each time I went back to Maui for a couple years.  And yes me and my girfriend got back together after some great talking from me to explain the letter.

While we were there we trained at a gym in Kihei.  The people in their of course went crazy when they saw us.  the twins made so much noise though and threw weights around that the management asked us to leave.  So we only got to train once there.

It was very surprising to me how popular the twins were everywhere we went.  It was like rock stars.  Even though we get allot of celebrities here in Hawaii they mostly hide out and stay away from the public.  So seeing these guys hanging out with the public was really neat for everyone.

And the pic below is real weight.  I trained with them numerous times and we would get 405 seated BNP for a couple. 315 was butter.  they were strong.

[Vince B]

Another great Han-d-Gas story! What a prankster Keith was.

 Re: Tell your favorite stories re pros/legends
« Reply #517 on: May 23, 2005, 02:53:32 AM » Quote 

Okay prepare yourself for Fart Story #2.  I have to tell you in advance I am typing in the dark on my bed so give me a huge break on spelling. 

Also, I was wondering because I type so fast does that make me more feminine.

Okay, I was with 4 or 5 others including my pal Tony Halme.  One of the others was our friend and one of me and Tony's sponsors, the owner of Legends Sports Bar & Grill.  We had just had lunch and decided to walk the Venice boardwalk.

It was Saturday and very hot.  If you know Venice, the weekends are packed with thousands of people.  Before I go on I need to tell the people who don't know me that I am probably bigger than most people but not everyone.  And one of them is Tony.  He stands 6'4" and weighed then around 330 lbs.  I was 6'1" and a puny 300 lbs.  Now this plays an important part of the story as it develops.  I keep wanting to say Hannu and Marjo Selin was with us.  I think they were but can't really remember.

As we strolled down the boardwalk we (me and Tony) got occassionaly looked at.  he stopped at every vendor to see what they were selling.  Well, I had my infamous fart machine with me.  Needless to say I was farting on as many people as I can. 

Now if you know Venice you know on weekends every guy who workouts is down there showing off their muscles.  (this is where the size thing comes in).  Well no one is immune to my farting.  I would walk up behing the most beautiful girl and just start farting away.  Of course I would apoligize when they looked at me with that "Oh my God" face.  Now I think because of my size people get the wrong idea that my farts smell worse or more than the normal persons.  I personally don't think so.

Now Gene (the owner of Legends) notices how excited a reaction I recieve when I fart and he starts video taping me and peoples reaction. 

Now I had a pair of sunglasses I had bought earlier that had small mirrors on the side so I can see behind me.  I wore them because I found out when I fart while walking by someone, the reaction is delayed and it happens after they pass me by.

So, while we are walking down the boardwalk I am farting constantly and am getting several different reactions from people.  Japanese jump. black women scream (loud), white girls hit each other while pointing at me, middle aged women call me imature or sick, older guys just stare, younger guys go crazy and tell me I'm rad or that's awesome.

Well after about 60 minutes of farting people were noticing Gene videoing me.  Now all of a sudden after people found out about the machine I started getting people following me and watching others who didn;t know I had the machine react.  I swear to god you can ask Tony when you see him I had at one time more than 50 people following me down the walk watching me fart.  I even had the cops following me. 

Well here comes the size thing again.  I see these 4 good sized black guys with no shirts on comiing towards me.  I walked right between them splitting them and then farting as loud as I can.  These guys turn around and and looked at each other then say to me "hey man that;s fucking rude".  I turn around and I say "sorry guys I just had some bad food."  At the same time the huge group comes up laughing then telling the guys what I was doing.  They started laughing and we are all friends now. 

Also, you know the have mimes down there that just stand there and don;t move.  I was walking by them one time and farted on these two girls.  They (the girls) turned around and yelled "how sick you pig!"  Well the two mimes started busting up.  They couldn;t keep it together.  They were watching me all day and jsut couldn;t hold it.

Anway, thay day was really fun.  Well, Gene made a tape and it was almost an hour long.  He calls me one day to come down to the restaurant.  I show up and up on the TV screens he points to them and he is showing the tape of Venice.  everyone is laughing so hard.  Well that tape was seen by hundreds of people.  It made it travels to several different people and ended up lost.  I wish i had a copy cause it really was a funny tape showing the reaction people had at me.

i will bring it to the Olympia so beware.  And don't hit me if I fart on you.  Also, in Vegas it is a great way to get a free taxi ride.  jsut keep farting and the driver will kick you out and you don't have to pay.  It's also a great way to get free food.

[Vince B]

Keith loved his buffets.

Re: Tell your favorite stories re pros/legends
« Reply #528 on: May 23, 2005, 09:30:12 PM » Quote 

Yes I like the orleans.  It has gotten very huge in size and getter bigger cause Michael Gaughn owns a ton of property on that side.  The buffet is definitely great and is one reason I am as big as I am.  It is absolutely the best place if you are bringing your family.  It has the voted best theaters and bowling alleys in Vegas.  Plus it has a huge childcare center.  As great wine cellar.  And the spa is suppose to be pretty good too.  They also have a great Cafe that serves the best Chinese food in Vegas.  Canal Street is a classy restaurant with awesome gourmet food but not much of a selection.  Don Miguels is an awesome Mexican restaurant too.  And the seafood place is unreal.  For the price the Orleans is a great place.  Plus it is right there.  No I don;t own any part of it but have lost enough they should give me some.

[Vince B]

A story about the surf in Hawaii.

 Re: Tell your favorite stories re pros/legends
« Reply #538 on: May 26, 2005, 11:49:11 PM » Quote 

I was talking to someone today and we were talking about something that happened to me back around 1994 or so.  I think the beach name is Yokohama.  It is at the very end of the road out by Waianae.  The road deadends into a real nice beach.

The waves get pretty big but they shorebreak.  I mean straight down.  Literally you could be riding a wave and be 10' off the shore and it would slam you straight down into the sand.  It is so fun though. 

Also, out that way are lots of spinner dolphins that you can swim with.  Anyway, one day as I arrive where I am going to lay out and swim I pull up in my Jeep and I notice some tourists stuck in the sand.  I see they need help so I offer my help.  They were Japanese.  So we didn't talk much just doing charades.  Anyway after  a couple minutes i get push them out of the sand with the Jeep.  They thank me and I go on my way to layout.

Now the sand is super hot and this beach is located on the hottest part of the island.  So I lay pretty close to the water.  What's neat is that there is a cliff of sand about 8' about the wet sand where the waves break so there is kind of a wall of sand between you and the water.  So after some time in the water I lay out,

Not sure how much time goes by but I am on my stomach facing away from the water.  I look up and there are the same people I helped out the sand taking pictures of me along with about 10 others including a couple lifeguards.  They are just looking at me and others are taking pictures.  When I look at them they are motioning to me to be quiet and don't move.  I look at them thinking what the hell. 

One of the lifeguards whispers to me to turn around and move slow.  So I turn around and there is a giant elephant seal about 3' from me just laying there.  I swear to god this fucking thing was 1000 lbs easy and was HUGE!

The lifeguards were telling me not to move cause I might scare it.  After about 2 seconds that told meant I needed to get my ass out of there.  So I got up and just crawled really slow to the lifeguards. 

They had called the cops and they just showed up along with now dozens of people.  Most of them were laughing there ass off.  After about 20 minutes the cops decided to try to get this thing to go back to the water.  Usually here if a seal comes to shore they put orange cones around it and don;t let anyone come close.  But I think they were afraid someone might get hurt by this huge thing,

The lifeguards had different theories of what happened and the one they all really liked was that is was a male and it was about to fuck me.  They kept saying what would have happened if that thing climbed atop me and started fucking me.   What would they do.  i didn't like that image at all in my head.

Anyway that was my brush with an elephant seal.  I guess it was funny at the time but after I start thinking about what if it decided to make me its bitch what would have happened. 

But this is nothing compared to when the bear attacked me.  that to this day is the scariest thing that has ever happened to me.  Stunt do you remember when this happened to me.

You know an old Hawaiian saying is "never turn your back to the water".  Now I know why.  Gets me thinking that maybe this happened to some old Hawaiian 200 years ago

[stuntmovie]

Pellius, Vince, thanks for the recommendations.

It might be a good idea if one of you GetBiggers wrote something about Keith's involvement with the GetBig web site and his computer work in general.

I'd do it myself but my relationship with Keith had just about nothing to do with GetBig or his computer work.

I can say this though .....

Keith and I would briefly mention that day's GetBig activities and that would always turn out to be a conversation full of laughs.

And I can honestly say that he never displayed any adverse feeling towards any GetBigger during any of those conversations which is quite different from his OnlyMe persona/demeanor. Once his ranting and raving and animosity was finished on this board, he did not speak adversely about anyone in real life.

If the subject of any particular GetBigger did come up in a normal conversation it was usually associated with a laugh or a chuckle but never with any 'verbosness', hatred, or animosity (if there is such a word as 'verbosness"!)

And he never mentioned anything about "Time Out" which I assume means that you are cut off from participating on the Boards for a period of time.

Keith was not the kind of guy who would make adverse comments about anyone behind their back. But nose to nose was a different story. But even then it was done politely and quietly.

That's why I was a bit surprised when he got carried away on more than a few occasions on this GetBig Board

But even then he was most likely "verbose" with a smile on his face.

(Where the hell did that word come from?)