I'd like to take a minute to relate my experience at The Karate Kid. When I went into The Karate Kid, I didn't have any high expectations. We actually went to see Furry Vengeance but we arrived a little late and I can't go into a movie once the previews have started, so we opted for something that would have at least an outside chance of providing a Ralph Macchio cameo, because you're always curious to see how these 80s stars are aging, right? So after getting gouged for a bucket of stale popcorn, sodas, and a box of Milk Duds, we get the go ahead from the acne afflicted ticket ripper and proceed into the theatre. It was fucking packed. Little kids running amok.
So the woman I'm with asks me where we should sit and I'm past caring already. "Just sit right there" I tell her, pointing to a nearby pair. So after some insipid conversation and wondering what wrong turn our lives had taken to lead us here, the lights dim and all the kids start squealing. It's only the previews and already I'm pissed off. These two little bastards down the front, who were up to no good, started making trouble in their row. Thankfully, the theatre was sufficiently staffed and the issue was handled promptly by one of the ushers.
The previews go on and on and by now it's seven past eight and I've got work in the morning! So I yelled to the projectionist "DO IT! GET TO THE PICTURE!" Well, the kids next to me started crying and their mom got scared and said, "You should move to another seat!" Then she just stared.
Well that was enough for me. I stormed out, forgetting that I hadn't driven and now had no way back home. So I went outside and whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought nah forget it, yo homes to belaire! Everyone says that movie sucked anyway.
