Author Topic: Dave Palumbo - Smart Personal Training course  (Read 20965 times)

ether

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Dave Palumbo - Smart Personal Training course
« on: December 27, 2011, 06:03:02 AM »
Are any of you fools enrolling in this compendium of medicine, pharmacology, physiology and fitness.

Palumbo is really after it these days, you have to admire his hustle...

I mean other than the usual paying his employees with protein powder (Erin singerman, Jeff etc...) the guy is quickly becoming the Ron Popeil of bodybuilding...

Is there anything he won't sell?

Also is his recipe for fake GH included in the course?

Krankenstein

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2011, 06:26:01 AM »
A fool and his money are soon parted.......

ether

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2011, 07:05:15 AM »
A fool and his money are soon parted.......

ROFL

the trainer

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2011, 07:20:48 AM »
Oh wow I need this course, I going to send dave some money plus a fat tip.

Schnauzer

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2011, 07:35:00 AM »
Stimulating
Muscle
And
Revitalizing
Toupees
 ;D

ether

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2011, 10:38:07 AM »
Just got the agenda..

Day 1 Session 1
The Palumbo ketogenic (don't call it Atkins diet)

         Session 2
How to pay your employees with protein and let them live in your basement to cut costs

Day 2 Session 1
Lifting weights 101 : Apparently resistance training builds muscle

         Session 2
Drugs, Drugs and more drugs how to abuse to the max to be a low level NPC competitor

Day 3 Session 1
Macadamia nut oil, grounding pads and fake GH : how to carve out a living in the "fitness industry"

         Session 2
Practicum : Simulation injections, Fake GH packaging and relabeling of supplements

Course fees do not include parking, meals or any actual useful information but all attendees will receive an rxmuscle.com t shirt and species protein shaker bottle

Fortress

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2011, 10:49:23 AM »
Just what the world needs: another training certification course.  ::)

Is this actually real?


G_Thang

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2011, 10:50:11 AM »
Fuck Palumbo!  I'd pay Tanji first, a real legit hustler for fitness.



Wasn't he talking shit about getbig with Vince Taylor?  In fact, fuck them both!

Tito24

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2011, 11:09:52 AM »
palumbo should be stoned with shoes from freedom loving people everywhere.

Dr Dutch

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2011, 11:52:36 AM »
Palumboism is a rare, complex disease only seen in the nether ranks of competitive bodybuilders.
 
The condition is first characterised by the sudden development of an enormous midsection whereby the entire width of the trunk, ribcage and pelvis grows disproportionately whilst the oblique muscles will thicken rapidly and the abdomen will become distended with the patient unable to hold in their stomach.

The condition is further characterised by chronic metamorphasies of the facial and cranial features, culminating in thick folds of dermal tissue round the mouth and thickening of the Levator labii. Mandibular and mental protuberance hypertrophy and overall cranial hyperplasia, accompanied by a dramatic increase in the size of the frontal ridge follows. Premature aging is also common with Palumboism

A particularly spectacular symptom used to confirm diagnosis are disproportionally small limbs on the otherwise gigantic upper body. This is first observed in the upper limbs, where the arms seem to remain in a catabolic shrinking state compared to the torso who's internal structures are growing out of control in all directions. The reasons for this are not yet understood. The quadraceps muscles of the legs also seem to be ever shrinking.
Overall a more neanderthal type structure develops.
 
In advanced Palumboism the outer dermis takes on a crackly brittle look, almost as if the patient has been glazed or varnished like a ceramic souvenier. The color of the skin will become uneven displaying varying hues and shades from grey to bright orange throughout the entire body, whilst the skin may appear weathered and abnormally aged.
There may also be a high level of vascular distension which never seems to go away in the patient, this will often result in veins having a 'worn out' apperance.
 
Perhaps the most unusual and distressing issue is that the patient seems totally unaware of what is happening to him.
Post mortem examination of patients sometimes reveals large quantities of a foreign oil-like substance in the biceps and anterior deltoid muscle heads.
 
What causes Palumboism ?
 
It is not fully known what causes the disease, although it is speculated that a genetic predisposition combined with an over reliance on high and never ending doses of various anabolic drugs accompanied by a gradual 'shut down' or mutation of the patient's own endiginous endocrine system possibly awakening dormant cro-magnonesque genes are causative factors.
 
Although Palumboism shares some symptoms with Acromegaly it should not be confused due to the additional conditions described above when making a diagnosis.

Treatments
 
There is no known cure for Palumboism, as long as the patient remains on his drug regimen there is little comfort and the condition will continue to deteriorate.
 
Promptly discontinuing drug use may halt further development of the condition although it cannot be fully reversed.
 

maxkane69

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2011, 01:31:53 PM »
LOL!
There is sameone crazy enough who would pay that clown of Palumbo so he can look like him! :D


Vince G, CSN MFT

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #11 on: December 27, 2011, 01:47:57 PM »
Well, at 499 a person...if Dave and Chris have about the same amount of people as before which was about 50....then that's almost 25,000 dollars for a few hours of work.  Renting out a Jewish Community Center is peanuts as well as his printed books, plus he has an ecourse for 120 bucks. 


Dave's not a dummy....however I do question the fact that he created the course without any real outside input like most other PT courses.
A

DroppingPlates

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #12 on: December 27, 2011, 01:56:10 PM »
Palumboism is a rare, complex disease...

...yadi yadi yada
 

Wow, that's a serious dissertation, Doc  :o

Voland

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #13 on: December 27, 2011, 01:59:42 PM »
Boundary Breaker

The Abdominal Snoman

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #14 on: December 27, 2011, 02:28:40 PM »
palumbo should be stoned with shoes from freedom loving people everywhere.

And the shoes should all have these inserts that Palumbo wears...

http://bestshoelifts.com/

arce1988

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #15 on: December 27, 2011, 02:29:52 PM »
 pm him in 2000...he told me to use 100mg of Primo per day for 365

ether

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #16 on: December 27, 2011, 05:41:05 PM »
Well, at 499 a person...if Dave and Chris have about the same amount of people as before which was about 50....then that's almost 25,000 dollars for a few hours of work.  Renting out a Jewish Community Center is peanuts as well as his printed books, plus he has an ecourse for 120 bucks. 


Dave's not a dummy....however I do question the fact that he created the course without any real outside input like most other PT courses.

50 people ?

No fucking way

Over under on 6 (not including the janitor and his "employees" paid with isolyze)

HTexan

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #17 on: December 27, 2011, 08:02:07 PM »
Only a lowlife sells fake HGH. Hope he was raped in prison. 
A

Nirvana

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #18 on: December 27, 2011, 08:03:19 PM »
beautiful man with eyeliner

deadz

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #19 on: December 27, 2011, 08:19:03 PM »
LOL!
There is sameone crazy enough who would pay that clown of Palumbo so he can look like him! :D


Most disgusting picture of a BB I have ever seen.
T

Max B

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #20 on: December 27, 2011, 09:47:23 PM »
id fuckk the shit out of tanji johnson... lil hoe

Natural Man

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #21 on: December 27, 2011, 10:30:41 PM »
bullshiter extraordinaire.








ether

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Re: Dave Palumbo SMART personal training course
« Reply #22 on: December 28, 2011, 04:59:07 AM »
bullshiter extraordinaire.










So true...

Palumbo business model is simple though :
1) do more of what everyone else is doing at a lower quality
2) exploit anyone he can for unpaid appearances while claiming to "do it for the exposure"
3) pay employees with species supplements and free board in his basement, then lie to cover up why they left

TheGift...

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DAVE PALUMBO-how much money does he earn per year???
« Reply #23 on: December 28, 2011, 05:41:40 AM »
what do you guys think does he earn a lot.he drives a nice new mercedes,has his own house...does he make 10k a month?

Board_SHERIF

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Re: DAVE PALUMBO-how much money does he earn per year???
« Reply #24 on: December 28, 2011, 06:04:19 AM »
maybe...........10 K is only 100K per year, only better than average though.
K