Author Topic: So I Got Dumped..... (Read 23030 times)

BikiniSlut · « **on:** August 26, 2012, 02:01:08 PM »

Here is the situation ladies.....

I have been dating this guy for 6 months...thought he was truly amazing....we just clicked. So we have slowly started to talk about the future.

I can only have one kid naturally....the rest I will have to adopt....I have cervical complications from way back when. That has never ever bothered me. I'm fine with adoption and I'm fine with my own children. Either way adopted or mine.....I'm happy.

This is no good to him. He insists that he has AT LEAST two children with his DNA. Families in India are having ten children while here in North America the average is 2. That is unacceptable to him. He thinks it's an imbalance and he doesn't want his DNA wiped from this Earth.

I told him I'd be willing to look into surrogacy/freezing eggs/fertility treatments/etc. This is not good enough for him.

I'm devastated. Six months is not a long time but I thought we were solid.

What are your opinions on this?? Is he shallow? I feel like less of a woman knowing I can't have more than one child naturally. I've never felt bad about that till now. Now I question so many things.

Obviously he never truly cared about me....I ask myself how I could have made such a wrong choice.

booty · « **Reply #1 on:** August 26, 2012, 04:44:49 PM »

If he truely loved you and wanted to spend his future with you, then he would have been fine with having one biological child together. People can be so specific on how many children they plan to have and even the sexes, but there are no guarantees in life. This guy could meet someone else and say the exact thing and then one of them might find out they are infertile when they start trying to have children together.
Your self estem would be taking a battering right now but try to not let what has happened have this affect on you. Someone more compatiable and more worthy of your love is around the corner. Stay strong and positive.

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #2 on:** August 26, 2012, 11:07:53 PM »

Thanks Booty.

I feel so devastated right now.

I really did think he cared but he didn't.

booty · « **Reply #3 on:** August 26, 2012, 11:26:14 PM »

Hugs hun. I can't stand people who are so set in their ways and determined to stay on a set path and not allow things in life to take a different path when necessary. He obviously isn't very flexable when it comes to life or he would see that things don't always go exactly to plan.
You will find someone who wants to share and build a life with you. This guy wants a breeding cow not a partner. At least you found out now but still it hurts I know.

Butterbean · « **Reply #4 on:** August 27, 2012, 07:12:53 AM »

Quote from: BikiniSlut on August 26, 2012, 02:01:08 PM

This is no good to him. He insists that he has AT LEAST two children with his DNA. Families in India are having ten children while here in North America the average is 2. That is unacceptable to him. He thinks it's an imbalance and he doesn't want his DNA wiped from this Earth.

I've never had the urge to have children so I can't purport to know how this guy feels but when you think about the above, doesn't that seem kind of weird? Why does he think his DNA shouldn't be wiped from this earth? Does he think he children will have great ability to help mankind or is it something else?

Quote from: BikiniSlut on August 26, 2012, 02:01:08 PM

I told him I'd be willing to look into surrogacy/freezing eggs/fertility treatments/etc. This is not good enough for him.

Have you ever thought about what it would be like to spend your entire life with him? It sounds like certain things will never be good enough for him. A married couple should be on the same team, building each other up and holding each other up in good times and bad...support each other etc. Yes, that is ideal but he already is making you feel like "less of a woman" and feeling badly about yourself.

I don't want to put him down but I'd say you dodged a bullet. Be grateful his true self came out before you were already married. He doesn't sound like the one for you. But there is someone! You are hilarious and many people are drawn to that. The right one will come along.

Migs · « **Reply #5 on:** August 27, 2012, 09:22:22 AM »

good thing you found out now. He's a loser. I've never had a strong urge to have kids, but I wouldn't discount them or say that they have to have my DNA. To me that is egoistic and arcane. Indians and other 3rd world countries had to have a thousand kids in order to stave off astronomical infant mortality rates due to disease, malnutrition and the like. Anyway, sorry it happened to you , but at least you know he isn't the one and you can move on. Also I was really going to start this off as some smart ass comment and then patented sexual innuendo followed a cheesy pick up line. Then, I read your post...so thanks for screwing me up

booty · « **Reply #6 on:** August 27, 2012, 02:55:29 PM »

Yes I don't think BS would be happy with this guy. A happy healthy long term relationship is based on compromise, meeting each other half way to make a relationship work. BS is willing to freeze her eggs and this guy doesn't want that.

Montague · « **Reply #7 on:** August 27, 2012, 04:31:59 PM »

Quote from: BikiniSlut on August 26, 2012, 02:01:08 PM

Here is the situation ladies.....

I have been dating this guy for 6 months...thought he was truly amazing....we just clicked. So we have slowly started to talk about the future.

I can only have one kid naturally....the rest I will have to adopt....I have cervical complications from way back when. That has never ever bothered me. I'm fine with adoption and I'm fine with my own children. Either way adopted or mine.....I'm happy.

This is no good to him. He insists that he has AT LEAST two children with his DNA. Families in India are having ten children while here in North America the average is 2. That is unacceptable to him. He thinks it's an imbalance and he doesn't want his DNA wiped from this Earth.

I told him I'd be willing to look into surrogacy/freezing eggs/fertility treatments/etc. This is not good enough for him.

I'm devastated. Six months is not a long time but I thought we were solid.

What are your opinions on this?? Is he shallow? I feel like less of a woman knowing I can't have more than one child naturally. I've never felt bad about that till now. Now I question so many things.

Obviously he never truly cared about me....I ask myself how I could have made such a wrong choice.

It may take several weeks or even months, but I can almost guarantee that you'll be able to revisit this thread and accept it as an indication that the right/best thing happened with no second-guessing yourself.

Easy to say now, but give it time.
I'm quite confident in the likelihood of the above scenario happening.

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #8 on:** August 27, 2012, 08:30:07 PM »

Thanks for the support everyone. I've cried many tears lately and thank god I have teddy bears to hug and kiss them away.

I'm still really hurting but as Butter said I probably did dodge a bullet.

I feel worthless but I know it will pass. :-[I would never stop loving someone because they were infertile.

I truly hope one day he finds out he can not have kids, and the girl he is with leaves him for it.

So where ARE all the good guys nowadays?? $:-\$

booty · « **Reply #9 on:** August 27, 2012, 08:52:17 PM »

Kittens are good for cuddling and comforting a broken heart. Your pain will pass and your self estem will bounce back.

Migs · « **Reply #10 on:** August 28, 2012, 03:07:10 PM »

Quote from: BikiniSlut on August 27, 2012, 08:30:07 PM

So where ARE all the good guys nowadays?? $:-\$

Atlanta

what, too soon?

xxxLinda · « **Reply #11 on:** August 30, 2012, 08:42:15 AM »

Quote from: michael arvilla on August 30, 2012, 06:23:18 AM

STFU linda you fucking whore .....

reported

Laura Lee · « **Reply #12 on:** August 30, 2012, 09:07:45 AM »

Can't we all just get along?? Lol

michael arvilla · « **Reply #13 on:** August 30, 2012, 09:10:56 AM »

Quote from: YoungBlood on August 30, 2012, 08:22:35 AM

Somebody is channeling w8m8 with this post...I agree w/Mike though.

Are you channeling w8?

A lil bit

Laura Lee · « **Reply #14 on:** August 30, 2012, 09:16:16 AM »

Ok kids. Do I have to separate you both??

michael arvilla · « **Reply #15 on:** August 30, 2012, 09:17:17 AM »

Quote from: Laura Lee on August 30, 2012, 09:16:16 AM

Ok kids. Do I have to separate you both??

I need to be spanked!

Laura Lee · « **Reply #16 on:** August 30, 2012, 09:20:59 AM »

Insert rumors here:

Lord Humungous · « **Reply #17 on:** September 02, 2012, 08:05:42 PM »

Quote from: Butterbean on August 27, 2012, 07:12:53 AM

I've never had the urge to have children

We've never met either Stells!

Dr.J · « **Reply #18 on:** January 06, 2013, 12:33:39 PM »

You over him already?

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #19 on:** January 06, 2013, 01:36:12 PM »

Happy to say I'm completely over him! New prospects on the line.

Migs · « **Reply #20 on:** January 06, 2013, 04:15:42 PM »

Quote from: BikiniSlut on January 06, 2013, 01:36:12 PM

Happy to say I'm completely over him! New prospects on the line.

took long enough. So, wanna come to Atlanta?

Roger Bacon · « **Reply #21 on:** January 06, 2013, 08:20:39 PM »

Quote from: BikiniSlut on August 26, 2012, 02:01:08 PM

Here is the situation ladies.....

I have been dating this guy for 6 months...thought he was truly amazing....we just clicked. So we have slowly started to talk about the future.

I can only have one kid naturally....the rest I will have to adopt....I have cervical complications from way back when. That has never ever bothered me. I'm fine with adoption and I'm fine with my own children. Either way adopted or mine.....I'm happy.

This is no good to him. He insists that he has AT LEAST two children with his DNA. Families in India are having ten children while here in North America the average is 2. That is unacceptable to him. He thinks it's an imbalance and he doesn't want his DNA wiped from this Earth.

I told him I'd be willing to look into surrogacy/freezing eggs/fertility treatments/etc. This is not good enough for him.

I'm devastated. Six months is not a long time but I thought we were solid.

What are your opinions on this?? Is he shallow? I feel like less of a woman knowing I can't have more than one child naturally. I've never felt bad about that till now. Now I question so many things.

Obviously he never truly cared about me....I ask myself how I could have made such a wrong choice.

I'm here for you honey, lets get on skype.

tu_holmes · « **Reply #22 on:** January 06, 2013, 08:37:05 PM »

In all honesty... He kinda' sucks.

I mean, let's be honest... Maybe he's shooting blanks... He doesn't know.

Yet he's willing to toss you to the side just because you have a slight egg issue.

It's a shame... He should love YOU before he decides to have children... If he does love you, then THAT is what matters... YOU... Not whether or not he can spread his love frosting all over the planet.

Basically, he is saying that any woman who can catch jizz is fine... No respect for you what so ever.

Hope you find someone truly ready for all that you are willing to give him... including a ton of shit.

lulu · « **Reply #23 on:** January 07, 2013, 04:26:57 AM »

6 months ?

if some guy is talking shit after 6 months and you're gutted over it then neither one of you are mature enough to have kids

DNA not wiped from the earth , mygod this has to be a pisstake

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #24 on:** January 07, 2013, 11:39:56 AM »

Quote from: lulu on January 07, 2013, 04:26:57 AM

6 months ?

if some guy is talkin ::)g shit after 6 months and you're gutted over it then neither one of you are mature enough to have kids

DNA not wiped from the earth , mygod this has to be a pisstake

Oh brother.

Yes, because everyone should emotionally be on the same track at the same time.......