ARNOLD QUESTIONS IFBB JUDGES ABOUT GUT MANDATORIES
Arnold: You must get rid of those mandatories. My reputation as a leader in the sport is at stake. No more of those mandatory poses. In fact, we need to establish a formal chest/abdomen ratio. No professional bodybuilder who exceeds the ratio will be allowed to compete in the Arnold or the Olympia.
Head IFBB judge: Then you risk having no competitors. Or, do you want your show to look like a local bodybuilding contest or a men's physique lineup? With all respect, fans don't really care about this issue. Gut bulk is accepted by most fans. If that's the price to pay for ever more massive chests, thighs, backs, and shoulders - then so be it.
Veteran IFBB judge (weirdo): Gut bulk is actually popular with some fans. Haven't you heard them screaming during the gut mandatories? I've been judging these shows for over 35 years. I never lifted a weight in my life but I know what the fans want. Our boys are pushing themselves to further and further extremes for our excitement and pleasure. They deserve rewards, not slaps on the hand.
Head guru liaison and loudmouth guru spokesperson: My fellow gurus and I have built our reputations on today's regimens. Run-of-the-mill steroids are only part of the story. It's growth and insulin that have given us the breakthrough to build the giants we are building. Top that off with pockets of oil that we administer throughout their physiques. And frequent meals we force-feed into the bodybuilders, some of them don't eat enough. Don't you appreciate our role in creating these monsters?
Arnold: But your monsters are dropping like flies, George. And tell me what they will look like fifteen years from now. Will they walk on stage wearing giant girdles? I need to think this over. I've faced bigger challenges than this. I'll figure out some solutions.
Veteran IFBB judge (aside to George): I can't tell you how grateful a number of us are for you and your fellow men of science. You can rest assured that there will be plenty of funding for the boys to do what you tell them to do.
Arnold (to himself): This will be a near impossible job. And I know I will need to compromise. But I know the game, and if there is anybody who can do it, it's me.
