I'm sure everyone's seen moneyshot's apology thread already. It looks like the losers on gh15's board have extorted him as well. I fired some PMs off to a few mods there and the admin, whom I still consider a friend despite letting my family's photos stay plastered on their site, and I've thought about things for a couple of days. The admin on the gh15 boarding relayed a message, and gh15 has offered to remove the thread about me if I touch base on a few points. Thankfully, I'm planning on moving on with my life already so this will come easy.
I'm searching for the right words because I don't want to apologize for something I'm not sorry for. But I will clear things up, because gh15 is wrong about a few things and it's lead to a lot of fury on his end. Thankfully, our views our aligned on what he's asked so I won't have to bend over backwards and say things that I don't agree with. As I've stated in the past, I have never lied and will never lie, so this will fortunately be easy to clear up. And hopefully he will appreciate it and bury the hatched. He knows that I don't say or do things that I am not comfortable with, but I'm sure that while this is not EXACTLY what he's asked, he will see the authenticity and sincerity of this point and will remove the info about myself and my family.
First off, he's asked for me to acknowledge his stance on narcotics. I would like to clarify mine as I'm sure he will understand and appreciate it. I do not "support" narcotics. Far from it. I do not think they should be scheduled the way they are because their strict prohibition inherently creates societal problems and funds deadly narcotic organizations. We're both on board with hating these organizations, but our views seem to differ in a few small ways.
I believe that narcotics abuse should not addressed by throwing people in prison. I don't know his stance on this specifically, but I believe it should be treated in public health. The current way of dealing with narcotics in general is not working. gh15 is always an energetic individual and he's been very vocal about narcotics, but I believe it should be addressed in a different way. And I believe this, along with my views on marijuana, is what has led to the misunderstanding.
I know many addictions specialists and psychiatrists that deal with alcohol and substance abuse, and I've also seen close friends and family members suffer with substance abuse. Throwing them in the slammer is not the way to address this. The time spent there will only breed hardened criminals. I would MUCH rather these people be rehabilitated and paying taxes, rather than MY taxes paying for their incarceration time or their welfare/social assistance. So while our views are not in alignment, I'm sure any compassionate and focused individual can see that I don't "support narcotics". I support rehabilitating narcotic addicts, as well as not vilifying anyone who does chose to partake, as it should not define them any more than using steroids should define a bodybuilder for instance. Not everyone who uses narcotics is an addict. And in my case, because I used them experimentally, it completely extinguished my desire to use them on a regular basis.
I don't like being "fucked" off hard drugs at all. A little buzz or a little marijuana is as much as I like. I'd much rather think clearly. I've tried a few hard drugs so I could see if they matched up to what I had read in drug books like Davis's Drug Guide or Lippincott's, and it did. But I don't like the feeling of a narcotic-induced euphoria. A lot of drugs like cocaine or opiates will give you euphoria, but usually for a short period of time. Paired with shit like tachycardia, CNS stimulation or suppression, short half-life and a brutal crash/come down... it's just not for me. You become physically dependent on most hard drugs too. So really, these drugs aren't for me. And I don't think others should use these drugs too much because they carry too much of a risk. Read a book. They're no good. And with the physical addiction aspect, they're pretty dangerous to mess around with. I've witnessed my dad's heart stop for almost a minute when he had overdosed on heroin. He was revived and medically lost again on the ambulance ride to the emergency room. He has used drugs on and off his entire life and became brutally addicted to heroin and cocaine after his femur was broken the second time around. So if gh15 does read this, I'm sure he'll understand that I do not support narcotics at all. I only advocate a different approach, one that advocates for addicts and does not vilify them or label them as scoundrels. It can be the battle of someone's life and it's not for us to joke around about or scoff at.
In regards to Kigtropins, I thought I cleared it up many times but he wanted me to make another statement about this. I have not used legit Kigs unfortunately. I never said that I did either, but there is a misunderstanding that hasn't been understood so I'll say it again. I told this to holomorphic after he threatened my family and wished death on my unborn child. I said many times that I confirmed a verified source that carried the amazing/original Kigs and that he transformed. This is true. It was fucking nuts. He competed in South Africa at a shitty show and looked decent, and he's used gear and knows how to train properly. He was untrained for a really long time having immigrated to Canada and just getting settled in, and he and his wife shared 3 kits. My story has never changed and I'm not sure why this is misunderstood. I was only in receipt of bunk kits, and it was infuriating. I megadosed a few kits to see if there was ANYTHING in them and it seemed that a couple kits were nothing, and a couple kits contained a small amount of sugar. I used a blood glucose monitor and didn't know what to make of the results, so I threw the rest out in frustration. I've used legit GH myself, and I've seen other friends use both GH and IGF-1 so I know what those hormones can do when they're legit. I've probably said it a dozen times, but one last time, I haven't used the original wave of overdosed Kigs or whatever they were. I WISH that I did, because I planned on using it when I came off, but I was in receipt of bunk only and haven't had a single unit of exogenous GH in the longest time.
Almost forgot, he mentioned that I should apologize for blaming him for my infertility issue. I was angry at the time, yes, but I don't recall blaming him or anyone else per se. If I did, then I can apologize. But I don't think that I did. I tried blasting and cruising, but after stopping your endogenous test production it's going to take a long time to start it back up again. It was a very difficult time and my marriage was treading thin ice as a result, so maybe I did lash out. Who the fuck wouldn't? Off hormones, just got ripped off for some GH I was hoping would save my physique, then I had some friends die, followed by my sister-in-law and another friend... I started to really think I was cursed for a while, but my body recovered slowly but surely and like any other shitty situation I acknowledged it as "an unexpected learning opportunity". I didn't want to learn those lessons first hand, but I did. And I'm fine now. Shooting pornstar loads all over the place, wife's happy and pregnant, no one I know has died lately and school and work going well.
And on that note, I've learned all that I could over the years. I learned a lot from gh15, and although we began butting heads in the end I believe that I've learned enough from him and everyone else online. I've also tried my best to reciprocate that because I started off as nothing but a skinny Asian nerd, and now I'm a shredded Asian nerd but every bit the same person I always was. I've had fun learning about how to grow my body, shape it and burn off my body fat, but I don't think there's anything else I can learn online. gh15 previously wanted to chase me off the boards all together, but I think he can see that I'm not a threat and that he doesn't really want that. I can see that he does want me to clarify some remarks which he probably feels are damaging. I don't really think I can discredit an idol as big as him, even if I tried with vehemence. I've said that I don't appreciate the temper tantrums, but I'm entitled to think and say what I want. We're different people, so of course we have different views. And I think he does actually appreciate and respect that too, no matter how much it makes him upset initially. He knows me well.
I didn't want to write such a fucking long ass novel of a post, but I feel compelled to jump on this opportunity because him and others have repeatedly demanded that I state this, and that I state that. Well, I don't bend to anyone's whim, BUT, I have already said what they wanted but no one's listened. Check my post history. I've already said it a million times, but I've got half a dozen no-name individuals harassing me. I've received death threats for many of them now. And now I'm getting messages through social media sites, text messages and one person approach me in person. Enough is enough. I'll be going to school full time pretty soon, as well as working more than "full time" hours so I won't be around much longer.
tldr:
Embarrassingly long message clarifying my stance on a few things that have upset gh15 and the hive. If he could stop assply85 and his little mafia dons now, it would be greatly appreciated. I have been sincere, but death threats and wishing death on my unborn child are wayyy out of hand. And if that little fucker bugs me in the gym again, I'm dropping him and sending him to the hospital.
