More power to yuh, Pardner.
I like Texas, too. Once I was in Dallas at one of those faux elegant mainstream hotels you appear to savor.
I went to the bar for a nightcap. I motioned to the bartender: "One cognac, please, Remy VSOP if you have it."
"What's cone yak?" came the response.
I grant you that girls call you sugar (sometimes cause they find you repulsive), that there's a goodly supply of both guns and bimbos, and you certainly are not going to get winded going up inclines - there aren't any.
Flatland. In more ways than one. Enjoy.
Just flew back from DFW today. Spent two days in downtown Dallas for the second time in a month and just loved it. Stayed at the Omni Hotel downtown, 220$ a night gets you a 4 stars level room you would pay twice for anywhere else.

People are nice, all gals call you honey, sugar pie and/or sweetheart. I just love it there. Everything is just bigger and better. I heard in the past that Dallas-Fort Worth was dirty and ugly, I don't get it, quite the opposite. There's also an optimism and desire to be good people that intangibly floats in the air.
I actually had trouble with my rental, so pulled over on the express way. took about 5 minutes for someone to pull behind me to see if need help. I said I was on the phone with Hertz and they're sending someone. "Well, wanna beer while we wait" pull a Rubbermaid cooler, just because. Here in Cali, it's most likely you get hit by a mattress flying off a S10 Mexican pickup truck.
Just saying...