Author Topic: So - how British are you?  (Read 8579 times)

pedro01

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So - how British are you?
« on: July 23, 2014, 09:39:37 AM »
Obviously, we need to maintain certain standards here, so how British are you?

My own qualifications:

I think a crisp sandwich made with French stick bread & Walkers Cheese & Onion is Fusion food
I have a Thai wife (all the rage in the UK now I hear)
Whenever I see a Jag, Mini, Aston Martin, Bentley or Rolls - I tell my non-Brit friends "that's a British car" - even though I know the truth
I think Chinese take-aways actually make the best chips
I have no idea what that jelly stuff is in pork pies but I put up with it anyway
I've fucked a girl while she was eating and/or throwing up
I can't name more than 5 members of the Royal Family
I think the work British is synonymous with English and I think the Welsh, Scottish & Irish should just get used to being called English too

Primemuscle

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2014, 05:32:49 PM »
Only though ancestry. From what I've been led to believe, my ancestral family were British Royalty. I am not inclined to reveal my real name here, but there is apparently some family estate in England which I am sure I'd have a heck of a time claiming ownership of today. Anyway, probably couldn't afford the upkeep or the taxes. I'd have to turn the pile into a tourist attraction to pay the bills like other Royals there have done.

pedro01

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2014, 05:34:26 PM »
Aren't the royals Germans anyway?

Bit like our car industry...

nasum

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2014, 06:43:54 PM »
I'm technically german irish so not very. But I suppose us brits are all mongrels of one sort of another.

And I live here....somewhere (i'm not telling you where).

pedro01

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2014, 07:22:12 PM »
One side of mine is Welsh - Merthyr specifically.

Other side is Lancs.

My dad did the whole family tree thing and went back many generations.

At one point (to my shame), my family had the most generations living at any one time - which means there was a long & illustrious line of sluts getting knocked up at very early ages. I still have the newspaper clipping somewhere...

BigCyp

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2014, 02:57:01 AM »
Obviously, we need to maintain certain standards here, so how British are you?

My own qualifications:

I think a crisp sandwich made with French stick bread & Walkers Cheese & Onion is Fusion food
I have a Thai wife (all the rage in the UK now I hear)
Whenever I see a Jag, Mini, Aston Martin, Bentley or Rolls - I tell my non-Brit friends "that's a British car" - even though I know the truth
I think Chinese take-aways actually make the best chips
I have no idea what that jelly stuff is in pork pies but I put up with it anyway
I've fucked a girl while she was eating and/or throwing up
I can't name more than 5 members of the Royal Family
I think the work British is synonymous with English and I think the Welsh, Scottish & Irish should just get used to being called English too

Haha good one.

1. I order an indian takeaway every Friday night and watch a film with the Mrs and say stuff like "We should do this more often babe"
2. I wear socks and trainers to the beach in the summer  ;D
3. When buying a car, I lift up the bonnet, touch about 4 things I don't know what they are, give the engine a firm tap and say "I'll take it"

BigRo

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2014, 06:01:19 AM »
I am half english on my mothers side, but find Britishness distasteful in the sense that it considers itself a superior entity imposing itself on and subjugating other nations. That side of britishness needs to die off. Irish should in no way have to tolerate being lumped as part of the UK.

pedro01

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2014, 06:42:43 AM »
Haha good one.

1. I order an indian takeaway every Friday night and watch a film with the Mrs and say stuff like "We should do this more often babe"
2. I wear socks and trainers to the beach in the summer  ;D
3. When buying a car, I lift up the bonnet, touch about 4 things I don't know what they are, give the engine a firm tap and say "I'll take it"

lol

I hope you give the tyres a good kick as well...

pedro01

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2014, 06:54:47 AM »
I am half english on my mothers side, but find Britishness distasteful in the sense that it considers itself a superior entity imposing itself on and subjugating other nations. That side of britishness needs to die off. Irish should in no way have to tolerate being lumped as part of the UK.

Come on - you are talking about the Empire - that is looooong dead and gone.

The only group in Britain that considers itself superior is all the feckin Muslims we let in.

As for Ireland being "lumped in as part of the UK" - North or South Ireland?

It's like saying Texas should not have to tolerate being lumped in as part of the US.

Sounds like you need a bit more English in you. Bend over. This wont hurt a bit.

HonestBob

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2014, 08:51:23 AM »
Only though ancestry. From what I've been led to believe, my ancestral family were British Royalty. I am not inclined to reveal my real name here, but there is apparently some family estate in England which I am sure I'd have a heck of a time claiming ownership of today. Anyway, probably couldn't afford the upkeep or the taxes. I'd have to turn the pile into a tourist attraction to pay the bills like other Royals there have done.

You are normally so sensible that I do hope you realise how ridiculous this sounds.

Some of my family have Scandinavian surnames and my beard is blonde and ginger.  That doesn't make me related to Thor.

HonestBob

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2014, 08:58:03 AM »
Come on - you are talking about the Empire - that is looooong dead and gone.

The only group in Britain that considers itself superior is all the feckin Muslims we let in.

As for Ireland being "lumped in as part of the UK" - North or South Ireland?

It's like saying Texas should not have to tolerate being lumped in as part of the US.

Sounds like you need a bit more English in you. Bend over. This wont hurt a bit.

The Irish chip is as bad as the Scottish chip I am ashamed to say.

WE (Scots, English, Welsh, Northern Irish) are British, and the British way of thinking IS the smartest way of thinking. 

That's why foreign companies in places like Asia clamour for non-local management.  And what typifies "international" managers wherever they are from?  They think like Anglo Saxons.  For example, good french businesspeople don't think like typical frogs, they think like Anglo Saxons. We have a much more flexible and sensible way of thinking. 

Of course the Yanks have taken that way of thinking and pushed it harder than we ever could.

Mawse

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2014, 09:04:49 AM »
Only though ancestry. From what I've been led to believe, my ancestral family were British Royalty. I am not inclined to reveal my real name here, but there is apparently some family estate in England which I am sure I'd have a heck of a time claiming ownership of today. Anyway, probably couldn't afford the upkeep or the taxes. I'd have to turn the pile into a tourist attraction to pay the bills like ckother Royals there have done.

That's such a coincidence because I just received an email from Nigeria letting me know that their royal family was wiped out in the recent Ukrainian plane crash and apparently I'm their last living relative. It's complicated but apparently there is a large sum of money coming my way as soon as they verify my bank account details.

I'm so English that the title of this thread irritates me.

SuperTed

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #12 on: July 24, 2014, 10:10:32 AM »
I was born in England (London). Neither of my parents were though.

Simple Simon

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2014, 10:11:45 AM »
I was born in England (London). Neither of my parents were though.
Get out....

SuperTed

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2014, 10:18:55 AM »

_aj_

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #15 on: July 24, 2014, 10:23:47 AM »
My teeth are only slightly crooked. So, not much at all.

Primemuscle

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #16 on: July 24, 2014, 10:41:07 AM »
You are normally so sensible that I do hope you realise how ridiculous this sounds.

Some of my family have Scandinavian surnames and my beard is blonde and ginger.  That doesn't make me related to Thor.

Well I meant it to be taken with humor, not seriously. Whether or not there was Royalty in my family several hundred years ago has no bearing on who I am today. It's not like I am titled or anything. That being said, I do have ancestral records which go back 15 generations to a family member who was born in London, England in 1644.

Primemuscle

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #17 on: July 24, 2014, 10:42:32 AM »
That's such a coincidence because I just received an email from Nigeria letting me know that their royal family was wiped out in the recent Ukrainian plane crash and apparently I'm their last living relative. It's complicated but apparently there is a large sum of money coming my way as soon as they verify my bank account details.

I'm so English that the title of this thread irritates me.

You should jump right on this.  ;D

HonestBob

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #18 on: July 24, 2014, 10:44:48 AM »
Well I meant it to be taken with humor, not seriously. Whether or not there was Royalty in my family several hundred years ago has no bearing on who I am today. It's not like I am titled or anything. That being said, I do have ancestral records which go back 15 generations to a family member who was born in London, England in 1644.

Hopefully your history is good enough to understand that only plebs were born in London back in those days - country houses being the rage and all that back then.

I am pulling your leg by the way.

However, seeing as how this is the UK forum could you be a good chap and ensure that you spell humour correctly?  

monstermunch

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #19 on: July 24, 2014, 11:35:36 AM »
My ability to queue in an orderly fashion and bottle up all my emotions are very much fine tuned. 

benchmstr

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #20 on: July 24, 2014, 12:04:21 PM »
none

bench

BigRo

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #21 on: July 24, 2014, 12:23:08 PM »
Come on - you are talking about the Empire - that is looooong dead and gone.

The only group in Britain that considers itself superior is all the feckin Muslims we let in.

As for Ireland being "lumped in as part of the UK" - North or South Ireland?

It's like saying Texas should not have to tolerate being lumped in as part of the US.

Sounds like you need a bit more English in you. Bend over. This wont hurt a bit.

Northern Ireland is part of the old empire, the majority of people in Ireland want a united Ireland. England/Britain should give them the choice to have this as an apology for hundreds of years of persecution and slavery.

HonestBob

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #22 on: July 24, 2014, 12:30:26 PM »
Northern Ireland is part of the old empire, the majority of people in Ireland want a united Ireland. England/Britain should give them the choice to have this as an apology for hundreds of years of persecution and slavery.

What do the people in Northern Ireland want?

I am Scottish by the way and I think all this old BS is just that.  Bullshit that people need to get over. Or do we start doing pathetic things like asking what the irish did during WW2?

booty

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #23 on: July 24, 2014, 08:32:28 PM »
My grandfather was from England and I have got a lot of family over there. I was told that I look like them too. So getbig Brits be aware.  ;D

Primemuscle

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Re: So - how British are you?
« Reply #24 on: July 24, 2014, 10:39:48 PM »
My grandfather was from England and I have got a lot of family over there. I was told that I look like them too. So getbig Brits be aware.  ;D

You are joking surely. What do Brits look like? All Anglos look like Brits.