CHRIS HOLMES..
About ten years ago, his buddy lived behind my apartment in Arcadia, CA. Saw him a few times, then the neighbor introduced me. Dude was a train wreck, total tweeker driving some beat-to-shit old Firebird he was always tearing apart when he was high (meaning day and night, 24/7). After six DUIs, he was real proud of quitting drinking, but he'd obviously just switched to meth.
Signed my WASP CD: "To Ron. Fuck you, asshole!" Dude was skittish as hell and dumb as a rock. Had "Fuck Ni66ers!" painted white across his dashboard. Asked him if he ever worried about getting pulled over by a black cop. "Shit, never thought about it," he said. Didn't remember much about the Lita marriage because he was always plastered. Said Blackie bought all his songwriting credits when he was in a bind, gave him ten grand, which he blew in a weekend. Now, of course, he blames him for being broke. Total white trash.
Auditioned for Motörhead at some point, but Lemmy told him he was too crazy. Can you imagine? Finally, the pool scene from Decline of Western Civilization: The Metal Years. Said he had been up three days straight partying overseas on tour, flew home still drunk. Promised the director beforehand he'd do the scene, and she could only use the house the night he returned. So he had Mom drive him. Hollywood Hills, I think. (It was producer Clive Davis's pad, though the doc made like it was Chris's.) Said the scene pretty much ended his career (whatever was left of it).
Dude was so sketchy and awkward I started going out of my way to avoid him. Tweekers, you know, unf'nbearable company. Anyway, my storage unit got broken into twice, and I'd bet my life it was those two fucks. Chris and Dave, the buddy, fifty-plus unemployed junkies, both of 'em.
They tore down Dave's dump for condos, but I ended up seeing the two a year later at the First Cabin, local bar. He looked healthy, like he quit the dope, and he was drinking Coke. Good for him, but I made sure as hell he didn't see me. Didn't really wanna catch up and all.
Yeah, yeah, too long, didn't read, don't blame ya.