Fair question.
Alcohol, like everything else affects different people in different ways. Not everyone becomes addicted. Some people can drink heavily and not become addicted. Others can become addicted no matter how much they drink. A true alcoholic can never safely drink because sooner or later the addiction is reactivated. It's primarily physiological. Alcoholics are physiologically incapable of processing alcohol normally.
In small to moderate quantities it's a relaxing stimulant and yes, i enjoy a glass or two of wine occasionally while cooking, sitting on the porch watching the sunset or socializing with friends.
No. People become addicted because they can't deal with everyday life and constantly fails/struggles to achieve anything of value, thus become depressed, does even less to correct the situation, thus the result is even worse, so the depression gets deeper and only way that is left to feel well is by artificial stimulation of the same receptors that make a person feel good when everything is going well.
Pretty often people who seemingly "have it all", still become alcoholics, and in such a case there's still some weakness that not many ppl around may be aware off, some field/situation in life that a person can't handle. Overall it all can be summed up to: weak people become addicted, strong - manage to stay away from that.
I've yet to meet an alcoholic (or rec. drug addict) who has all his ducks in a row. It may seem like that at first, but later on you learn the reasons for that behviour. It is not the alcohol that destroys lifes, it is....people who destroy themselves. Guns doesn't kill, nomsayin