G: How long can keep winning the bbing championship?
Champ: Lung as I wanit. I alredy take care of da judges fo’ nex years sho. Is in da bag.
G: You recently signed a huge endorsement deal. Or so the rumor goes. Can you tell us anything about it?
Champ: Yip. some dolla bilz. I gots me some creatine. 10 jars ob it. An sum protin’. 2 gif certeefikets to burgar king. An a car wush.
G: Were you one of the bodybuilders subpoenaed at the Arnold Classic a while back?
Champ: no I don git no subpenis.
G: You are always thanking and praising Jesus after your victories, so you are obviously very religious. Yet you’ve been spotted at titty bars. How do you justify this?
Champ: I luv me some jeesus. Jeesus come 2 me an till me 2 go 2 da teetes bar. I wus doin’ jeeesus bisniz.
G: But you were spotted getting lap dances……..
Champ: da only time dem girlz sit down n liesson is win u giv dem tweny dollas. Win dey grindin me I preech dem about jeesus.
G: I hear you are a big Cowboys fan…..
Champ: I luvs me sum cowboyz. Brokebak mountain is my favurite moovee.
G: I also hear you are a big eater……..
Champ: das rite. I luvs me sum fixins n grits n colar grins. Ma favurite ristorant is black guy pees.
G: So what’s it like being out in public? Being 300 lbs of mass?
Champ: I tills ya is hard. Da peepoles dey sey meen tings about me. 1 tyme this guy till me I look lyke shrek on steroyce. Peepoles r so crool. I wus datin’ a femayles bodybilder 4 long tyme but one tyme we was out sum guy ax us r you brothars? Dat hurt ma fellins so I drop her n gut me sum fitnass booty.
G: I see. What about being 300 lbs?
Champ: I brake a few toylets in ma dey. 1 tyme dis kid look at me n says 2 his mama-why dis gorilla out of his cage moma?
G: Do you have to purchase 2 seats when flying on an airplane?
Champ: no I aint gonna waist no dollas on 2 seets. Usully I jus sit on my seet n on top of the otter person nex to me.
G: I was told you speak several languages. Spanish, among them. Mind saying a few words……
Champ: carny asado, nachos grandis, el pollo loco. Yo qiro taco bells.
G: Well, thanks for your time. This interview has been very enlightening.
Champ: Yip yip!
