for all you relationship experts

[Victor Venice Beach]

I'm not sure I can only speak from personal experience perhaps those rare few have that something 'special' or they just accept they are good together despite the lack of 'love' and stop looking for something that isn't there and stick together?

I also dont know to be honest.
Been together 14 years now.
I hope to report back to you in 48 years on this issue. 

[dj181]

a bit depressing replies but honesst so kudos for that

dj is like a child

yeah, i guess that i kinda am

[bigmc]

a bit depressing replies but honesst so kudos for that


yeah, i guess that i kinda am

try being confident

and never asking anyone else what they think about you

its very liberrating

[ESFitness]

try being confident

and never asking anyone else what they think about you

its very liberrating

Domt believe I've ever asked what anybody thought of me.

Tell'em what. You think and don't wait for a reply

[dj181]

try being confident

and never asking anyone else what they think about you

its very liberrating

thanks for the advice

one of my lady friends told me that i'm too moody and she never knows what to expect from me, i guess that i am a bit unstable

and 2 of my other lady friends cut contact with me... BRUTAL!!!!

i guess that i can be charming and get women to like me, but i can't keep them involved with me, as within a month or two they tell me to get lost.... fuck!!!

maybe i should just focus on very short intense relationships with women and not expect them to ever go very far

[Primemuscle]

thanks for the advice

one of my lady friends told me that i'm too moody and she never knows what to expect from me, i guess that i am a bit unstable

and 2 of my other lady friends cut contact with me... BRUTAL!!!!

i guess that i can be charming and get women to like me, but i can't keep them involved with me, as within a month or two they tell me to get lost.... fuck!!!

maybe i should just focus on very short intense relationships with women and not expect them to ever go very far

By too moody, does she mean depressing or changeable? I believe you should focus on being more positive (confident in) about yourself. People not knowing what to expect from you makes you interesting and perhaps a bit of a challenge. With respect to women, many like guys who they cannot figure out completely.

[dj181]

By too moody, does she mean depressing or changeable? I believe you should focus on being more positive (confident in) about yourself. People not knowing what to expect from you makes you interesting and perhaps a bit of a challenge. With respect to women, many like guys who they cannot figure out completely.

i mean like i'll switch rather quickly from being in a good mood to getting depressed or pissed off within minutes

i guess i have some symptoms of borderline personality disorder which is characterized by these symptoms:


    Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
    A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
    Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self
    Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
    Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
    Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
    Chronic feelings of emptiness
    Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
    Having stress-related paranoid thoughts
    Having severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality

i always thought that narcissism was my major fault/problem but it seems that this is... FUCK!!!!

this song sorta describes me with regards to females

and yep, some females are attracted to moody unpredictable fellas like me, but it doesn't last so long as they just can't handle it, and frankly i don't blame them

[Primemuscle]

i mean like i'll switch rather quickly from being in a good mood to getting depressed or pissed off within minutes

i guess i have some symptoms of borderline personality disorder which is characterized by these symptoms:


    Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
    A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
    Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self
    Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
    Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
    Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
    Chronic feelings of emptiness
    Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
    Having stress-related paranoid thoughts
    Having severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality

i always thought that narcissism was my major fault/problem but it seems that this is... FUCK!!!!

this song sorta describes me with regards to females

and yep, some females are attracted to moody unpredictable fellas like me, but it doesn't last so long as they just can't handle it, and frankly i don't blame them

With the level of self awareness going on today, many people imagine they relate to that list of symptoms and to some degree they do because we all do.  However, most aren't victims of borderline personality disorder. You likely aren't either.

When I was much younger, I too often changed moods instantaneously from seemingly happy to extremely angry. I got over this in time because it was ruining my life in everyway.

[light weight baby]

dj is anything but a strong silent type

[Azzaro]

2 to 3 years max
after that it's just learning to tolerate the other no matter how beautiful or awesome he/she is

[dj181]

2 to 3 years max
after that it's just learning to tolerate the other no matter how beautiful or awesome he/she is

that's exactly what I thought

thanks for the straight and honest answer

[Fortress]

Depressing as hell to discover, but as has been stated, "romantic love" is lust/"push to procreate", and nothing more. It's biology and chemistry. Couples who stay together for any length of time do so for reasons that have zero to do with romance. Sure, they engage in sex here and there, but that's because the outlet is available. Love might exist, but it's no different than the love one has for a friend, sister or father.

Like I say, when the mature and intelligent person discovers these truths, it's a bitter pill to swallow. As is most of life's realities.

Most liberal-minded people never come to any such revelations. They choose to exist in a delusional world where every culture is compatible and Islam is a "religion of peace".

[gothorium]

how long does romantic love last?

i was taught in my psych classes at university that it's 18 months tops

so you fellas that have had or have long term relationships, how long did the romantic spark last?

psych class LOL
Psychology doesn't exist bro.
Its a scam.
You love someone when you think you can't get better to rationalize your laziness.
Hope this helps.

[cephissus]

Taught in your psych classes?  Loooooool

[Kwon]

Marty Champ

[gothorium]

the only lasting love is between a man and the weights at the gym.

damn this is deep

[dj181]

damn this is deep

 

I understand this, as the weights never says no and they always do what you want

when females don't give what I want when I want I occasionally fly into a narcissistic rage lol

its why I've always focused on training and things that can be done alone, like playing golf, shooting hoops, training

relationships sucks ass coz you can't control them and you wont always get what you want 

[Hack Benchers]

Depressing as hell to discover, but as has been stated, "romantic love" is lust/"push to procreate", and nothing more. It's biology and chemistry. Couples who stay together for any length of time do so for reasons that have zero to do with romance. Sure, they engage in sex here and there, but that's because the outlet is available. Love might exist, but it's no different than the love one has for a friend, sister or father.

Like I say, when the mature and intelligent person discovers these truths, it's a bitter pill to swallow. As is most of life's realities

True just like hendas qoute. And this not a problem. Look....most arranged marriages also work out fine and they start out without any kind of romantic love. Think about that.

P.s. Dj108 you are a bit of a whiny tosser but please carry on.

[dj181]

^^^^ you're a dutchie right?

 thought youd appreciate my brutal honesty and openness as I was told that you dutchies are very open minded and accepting and you aren't racist at all

thats jewsa's opinion of you ibtw

oh and you were pusseis as well as you let the nazis steamroll through your country

[Hack Benchers]

^^^^ you're a dutchie right?

 thought youd appreciate my brutal honesty and openness as I was told that you dutchies are very open minded and accepting and you aren't racist at all

thats jewsa's opinion of you ibtw

oh and you were pusseis as well as you let the nazis steamroll through your country

You allright? Your reply has nothing to do with whay I posted.
I quess you really are a nutter.

[Powerlift66]

Where's Howard, the relationship expert??? Kidding Howie.

Wife and I have been togther for 34 years since we were 16. We lift together, go the range together, its great when you marry your best friend.
She's the same weight 34 years later and in better shape. I guess Im one of the rare ones. I have friends with the bitchiest wives, who arent even hot and I think "Why"??

[SF1900]

Where's Howard, the relationship expert??? Kidding Howie.

Wife and I have been togther for 34 years since we were 16. We lift together, go the range together, its great when you marry your best friend.
She's the same weight 34 years later and in better shape. I guess Im one of the rare ones. I have friends with the bitchiest wives, who arent even hot and I think "Why"??

Perhaps from their POV, they are not married to "bitchy" wives.

"There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception."

[Powerlift66]

Perhaps from their POV, they are not married to "bitchy" wives.

"There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception."

I think they know, always bitching at each other... Oh well, their life, not mine.

[SF1900]

I think they know, always bitching at each other... Oh well, their life, not mine.

You should try to impress them with your life and tell them about your posting on getbig.

[local hero]

Depressing as hell to discover, but as has been stated, "romantic love" is lust/"push to procreate", and nothing more. It's biology and chemistry. Couples who stay together for any length of time do so for reasons that have zero to do with romance. Sure, they engage in sex here and there, but that's because the outlet is available. Love might exist, but it's no different than the love one has for a friend, sister or father.

Like I say, when the mature and intelligent person discovers these truths, it's a bitter pill to swallow. As is most of life's realities.

Most liberal-minded people never come to any such revelations. They choose to exist in a delusional world where every culture is compatible and Islam is a "religion of peace".

Yeh I more or less agree with most of what's wrote... I do think without kids it would be hard to stick long term, kids and then grand kids are the glue that keeps it together