Can he beat a pissed-off Ruhl and a motivated Martinez?
Funny how you say "pissed-off Ruhl" as if this is a fight or something other than a beauty contest.
Live from Atlantic City...the Miss America Pageant.
Hi, I'm Ryan Seacrest and we're here live in Atlantic City, the gambling shithole of the universe. Tonight, 51 beautiful women will compete for the Miss America title. Now let's get down to the business of analyzing tonight's top competitors. Miss New Jersey is looking tremendous...better than she looked back in 2001 at the Miss Brigantine Castle show in Long Branch, but you have to wonder if people will recognize her without the Princess Leia outfit she usually appears in. She's going to be looking over her shoulder at a pissed-off Miss Minnesota, whom we haven't seen onstage since she had her implants removed. She trained for this pageant in isolation over in Dresden at a private runway, so no one has any idea what she looks like. In her last go-round at the Miss America, she took second to Miss California, a manicurist from Santa Monica, who may or may not compete tonight. You also can't discount a motivated Miss New York. In the past few years, she's gone from Miss Jimmy's Bronx Cafe to a top competitor, but she has had a few setbacks. She was arrested twice for illegally selling collagen out of her Washington Heights apartment and more recently had her upstart modeling agency on the Grand Concourse shut down after enrolling several young girls just days earlier. And now, without further ado, I give you the President of the Miss America Pageant...the one...the only...Jim Ma-err I mean Donald Trump!!
Special "Miss Direction" Ed