The article was satire was it not?
"as a matter of natural law, there is always an open table for beloved superstars who win home playoff games in dramatic fashion. Under the circumstances, Giannis Antetokounmpo is to be given the first and best available accommodations, and if none are open at the moment he crosses the restaurant's threshold, seated customers are to be politely asked to eat their burritos while standing at the bar, or to give their half-eaten burritos to Giannis Antetokounmpo, if he so desires."
The right needs to lighten up