I just turned 48 and have been bodybuilding/lifting for 30 years. Not competitively but for quality of life. Over 20 of those years I did one or two light cycles a year(250mg-500 sustanon/week + 40mg dbol/day) for 8-10 weeks and always kept moderate gains, my goal was always a Frank Zane physique so I never went crazy. But when I turned 45. I pretty much realized my genetics were maxed out and I thought about my health and my age so switched to trt dose(200mg test cyp every 7-10 days). I had a lucky hook up so got legit test cypionate straight from cvs w/o script. Kept my gains I worked for over 30 years for but out of nowhere developed heart failure. Couldn't breathe, edema in legs, and was admitted to UCLA where cardiologists found I had an arrhythmia that was genetic and was causing the heart to beat 150bpm thus causing the failure. Other than that, my heart was perfect, no plaque, perfect calcium, no high blood pressure. Eventually I had a procedure done called an ablation that cured the AFIB and my ejection fraction shot back up, I have my health back, can lift, exercise, whatever. But after all the years of cycles and then trt I crashed and have NO testosterone. No sex drive, can't get a pump but once doctors hear heart failure and steroids they are terrified to prescribe trt which is all I want. I don't have the cvs hook up anymore so I need a legit doc to prescribe trt. I really don't want to go to UG gear. But doctor's are just so scared of liability that I feel like my only choice is UG test for TRT and get all my bloodwork done and check ups. Should I just lie to a trt clinic and don't mention the heart failure? Or just say game over and become an old man with no test? All I know is I feel like shit, no sex drive, can't get a pump, depressed and don't know what to do. I contacted that anabolic doc Thomas O Conner who seems kind of understanding but still it's very hard to get a doc to prescribe test if you've had heart failure and bodybuild. Many just say you shouldn't lift at all even natural after heart failure. Even though mine was just a genetic anomaly and had nothing to do with gear. I fucking hate getting older.