I never spanked my boy until he learned to use the hitting/spitting combo when he got really mad. A few spankings over a few months, and never since.
Since then, he's been great. Karate lessons so he can use his fists but knows the discipline, respect and consequences behind it. He breaks up fights and can restrain others when needed.
It's how I was raised, so it's all I know. I got maybe 10 spankings in my life, always after throwing rocks at the city bus or water balloons at police cars... yes, seriously dumb shit.
I agree. Martial arts are great for little boys. They get to be physical, but learn discipline...both of which are critical to a little boy.
Little boys are like lion cubs. They learn by being physical, and suffer when they can't communicate through physical interaction. It's how they learn.
The women in their lives try to mother them and coddle them and shame away the rough behavior a little boy exudes. They only know how to be little girls, so who could expect anything more from them? Women don't know how to let men be men, or let boys be boys. Their nature is to change and soften them. That's why dads are so critical...our job is to teach a boy how to be a man, in spite of the feminizing that society and even the female role models in their lives ram down their throats. It's actually a lot harder to be a dad these days then I had anticipated. There are so many societal forces that want to turn my boy into a complacent milquetoast. I have to constantly rally against them and show him its ok to be a boy...to punch back, to wrestle, to go crazy, to build and then destroy, to kill with compassion so that he understands the forces of life and death and one is not inherently evil over the other, to understand that the world is a harsh place still ruled by strength & power and how to use those to build up his own worth. That a man can be good while still being physical and strong and unyielding...that being good doesn't mean being weak and compliant.
It's like I have to over-compensate and go far to the right, just to balance out the powerful feminizing forces he faces every day from his mom, sister, teachers (which are all women)...I'm the only male role model in his life against a deluge of feminine role models.
