God damn.. Its been almost a Year since I was told that I needed to lose a ton. My health was failing. Sick all the time, Depressed.. Life was no good. I told myself that I NEEDED to do this. I told myself that if i could fix what was wrong with my body, Life would be easier. I told myself that the reason I wasnt progessing as fast as i could with my music was because my Body was incapable of performing certain tasks.
Like I said, it has been almost a year. The diet started July 1st. and i have lost over 100lbs through natural, healthy means.
i have always wanted to lose the weight... as long as i can remember. But this was a NEED.
Now, I want to finish this so bad. its not because i want to finish so I can be more lenient on my Dieting and exercising... cause ill never be. But its only because of all the Self Criticism I have been giving myself over the last 10 months. Looking in the Mirror every morning, picking apart all the brokens, and need-to-be-fixed things. Every single day, the mantras I give myself to say as i run.. run and run. The Self Motivation. The motivation i get from my closest friends. I surrounded myself with friends that are all the most intense physical people I know. Lifters, and Mixed martial artists.. who have no physical limits.
The online groups and support. The people i have met through this page and the others. The ones that go beyond commenting on this group and visit my page to keep up on my progress and cheer me on and make sure I was still keeping with it.
All this has kept me going through everything. All this and so much more. The studying, the Mental Progressions.. All of it.
But its been so long and i have acomplished so much and Only feel like I am barely half way through this.
Its so frustrating to want something so bad, and to want it to happen NOW... especially after i fully understand the One-Day-At-A-Time process.
I love the New Lifestyle I have attained in this last year. I am the Taskmaster. My work Ethics have changed for the better in so many ways. They give me 8 hours to finish my task at work.. and I finish in 3 hours.. cause I am a Champion now. But its all because of the ethics that I had to earn.
At the same time, I wish I could snap my fingers and be there.
But the drive to WANT has obviously taken over the Need. And I know that this will take as long as it needs to take. I wont stop until its done. Once i get to the end of my Fat loss journey, im going to look myself up and down and Play the Roll of the Sculpter and see what i need to do to become a more Symetrical, Capable, Stronger, Physical Being. (can you tell I own a Copy of Pumping Iron?)
I am giving myself until September to finish the rest of my Fat loss. its about 50 more pounds.
then I can really start gathering all the Info you guys are so amazing at giving.. On Building UP.
So please.. though I had an amazing weekend in Vegas, and I took a total break from the diet for it... Rest assured that i am going to Come home and hit it hard on Monday.. Every single day from now on... There is only one way to be.. and thats HARD CORE.
Please just stick with me. Keep cheering me on... keep giving me the motivation that I NEED... so I can achieve the Goals I WANT oh so bad.
Thank you for everything.
