Over time, I've come to accept that happiness is a state of mind and not related to any single or numerous experiences. A state of mind that is usually fleeting. A state of mind that sometimes is perceived by way of social influences. Instead of trying to judge whether I am content with my life, I now try to simply accept my basic existence. I see it less as a race to achieve happiness by societal standards and instead try to envision that we are greater than the sum of our materialistic parts. I am now (and it strays from my Judaic beliefs) accepting the idea that we are all one, part of the same source and that as a single being are having distinct human experiences within these meat vessels we call bodies that come pre-made with an "EGO" that makes us seek out worldly accomplishments for self-validation and self-preservation. Life has made me realize no one thing can bring you happiness.
I once thought that owning a beautiful home (condominium and/or house) would make me happy. I finally owned both (with no contingencies) and neither made me happy, they were merely accomplishments to add to my perceived success. Sooner or later, a property you own, regardless of all the "stuff" you fill it with is merely just a house/home you've made your own. Still, just a "thing" in a world of many things we perceive as ours. Yes, at the very early moment when I owned the properties, I felt a sense of accomplishment and relief, but over time, they were simply places to lay my head down at night.
I once thought that having a certain amount of money in the bank (after taxes) would make me happy. I then reached the amount I thought would do it and it didn't make me happy, merely allowed me to worry less about the bullshit (paying bills, managing debt, overhead costs of living) that takes away from the time I have to possibly pursue the things I like and bring me enjoyment. So even achieving financial freedom didn't necessarily make me happy. The mere "thought" of achieving happiness through reaching financial goals placed the proverbial carrot at the end of the stick needed for me to keep working towards it.
I once thought that being with the "right" person would make me happy. I then found individuals throughout my life that met my standards (smart, accomplished via academic and career-related accolades, having amassed enviable wealth, good looking with relatable personalities that lend themselves to humor, good times and entertainment) and even then, the novelty of anyone wears off if given enough time. People and their ever evolving personalities don't make me happy, but the "idea" of meeting certain people motivated me to work towards that goal, which in turn kept me in pursuit.
I once thought that being in "great" shape would make me happy. I achieved that before (low bodyfat levels, good musculature, great health by way of modern medical standards etc), but even having a great shape is short-lived when you realize we all get physically (not mentally) old and our bodies start to decay.
I once thought that having a strong family with extended network of friends would make me "happy". While having people I call family is VERY nice, it doesn't provide constant happiness, it instead lets me worry less about the "thought" of being alone. But even then, every family member I consider close has their own life to tend to and not always are they by my side.
Moral of the story is that I am now content/happy in believing that I am merely one of the whole that is having a human experience on this planet and will soon return to that whole and embrace that the world was simply a grand stage for us to all perform while in the guise of individualism.
Sorry for the Matt-like post.
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