Bing the kids lost their father. I didn’t want them to feel like I was going to abandon them to don’t get me wrong. She still wants to be in this relationship but she put my stuff on the porch because she’s mad that I left. She still emails and texts every day saying she loves me but I can’t put up with her shit anymore.
You know what you need to do.
I understand your concern for the kids and the relationship you’ve built but it sounds like the relationship is unhealthy for everyone. As others have pointed out they aren’t your biological children despite being involved with them their whole life.
Ask yourself what is the logical conclusion here? Are you going to stay together and work through the issues, despite not being married after a decade!? Will you stay together until the daughter grows up and then break up? Or will you try and stay in the kids life and be fine with moving on from the mom?
You’ve got to make a decision as a man. Playing house isn’t going to help this family, it only adds to the dysfunction and you will end up ruining the daughters idea of real relationships. She will think what you and her mother have is normal. She will think she can have a baby and it doesn’t matter if the biological father is a part of the babies life because she will find someone else to help raise the child. And they don’t even need to be married. It’s a perpetual cycle (unless as an adult she gets intense therapy).
I’m not saying this to be mean or hurtful but so that you understand that while you think you’re helping this little girl you undoubtedly love and helped raise you’re really ruining her by not committing to her mom and if you continue this path she will grow up to resent you.
Good luck bro.
