I still have Diarea which causes dehydration. But I hadn't drank more than 6 ounces of fluid friday and maybe 4 on Saturday. I was also taking FTTP to encourage fat loss this can cause mild dehydration. I did not take any diuretics until late Saturday I believe when people didn't think my legs pics looked good is when it got to me so I took a lasix. I had not taken any diuretics prior. This was maybe 8pm? I have been having this issue where I feel I need to pee but cant so I thought it would help but i was already pretty dry. I had been getting up every hour all night the last few weeks thinking I need to poop to only pass gas and blood and was worried I may have a blockage. So after taking the lasix I took some dry carbs figuring with the lasix I wouldnt spill over. Around 2am I still havent urinated and though mayeb lasix was wrong so I checked package and it was 40mgh instead of 100. So then I took 80mg more as was late and wanted to flush pee out before prelims at 9. I took a pain killer because of my digestive issues and was worried this was making me not feel bladder or maybe I had some kind of prostate issue but could not pee. Anyway I was up all night posing and pooping blood but not much pee. They say when passing blood you want to stay hydrated so thats why I hadnt take any diuretics also didnt want to develop an immunity figured one bang at end if needed and it really wasnt. I noticed when I went in to touchups I was acting a little weird like almost manic. I wasnt feeling great but dying at the same time. I just needed to hold it together a few more hours. But the hours kept gettign longer and I was pacing the auditorium still eating and drinking nothing had walked 5 miles before I took the stage. I was only on stage for a minute and I managed to smile and pose. However when I got off I could tell something was really wrong. I was dropping things and really exhausted and in pain after 1 minute. We went upstairs to get a drink and sit down and I passed out trying to sit and talk with emily I was then talking about stuff that wasnt real totally deliruous. Emily goty me some fluids and after sittign for a but ad talkign about it we decided to head home. I don't even remember going to the car or the first half of the trip I would wake up violently kicking the car then demand fludis then pass back out after mumbling stories about cartoon dogs and weird shit. The original plan was for me to drive all night I was not capable. Even several hours later I know I wasn't making sense and kept apologizing to Emily as my brain was not working. So no I didN't stay anothet 8 hours and battle it out with 2 other guys I could see I was competitive buT not winning. I could see the other classes it was a much bigger show than I realized but I still think I looked ok on stage and did not embarrass myself. I said I would get on stage and compete and I did. I should have dropped out a month ago but I said I would get onstage and I did. I have a Dr apt tomorrow
Girls and sons who have not been loved by their fathers seek attention once teens and adults to compensate for what they didn't have originally. Fathers either left them alone, or were distant most of the time and not encouraging them.
Some even despised them which would shape their personality and the way they they interact with others for the rest of their life.
They are extremistic in everything they do, always looking exaggeratly for attention (Hello Goodrum), and have troubles adapting to society's rules, because they also have troubles defining their own identity and respecting authority and hierarchy.
Also boys who got picked on by others during childhood and adolescence -often sons without a father figure- try to compensate by lifting weights, to develop muscles and survive in ther male world.
They're insecure because they're girly, childish, feminine having been raised by a single mom.
They lift obsessively hoping it will transform them into men, to compensate for their lack of influence from a father figure that was not there. Unfortunaltey they can get as big as they can it doesnt cure their insecurity and who they truly are, how they grew up being raised by a single mom. They re no as manly as other men whatever they do, and they often have a big lack of masculine presence they dont know how to balance, hence often being borderline homosexuals while trying to get their manhood back thru various manly activities (mma, cars, weight lifting etc).
They are often the ones that, in order to get respect from other males will go the steroids route to get even "bigger" attemptint to cure their insecurity , but being natural not being "enough", they still feel "too small", insecure, amongst other males. The lack of a father figure also often means they didnt have guidance to continue studies and are often working shitty manual jobs.
