Glad you didn’t exceed in that endeavor and hope you got to see your kids after.
thanks mate thats very kind of you to say so.
I represented myself in court to see them. I did over 170k in legal fees prior to that. Nothing moved everythng is in the womans favour. I asked to see the kids for all their school holidays and one weekend in London one in Liverpool once a month. The exs barrister called me 'off the record' and said that no judge would go for that because of my record. Luckily my ex's sister had been exiled from the DRC (Kinshasa) for trying to poison the presidents family at a funeral. My ex's plan was for her to work while the sister looked after the kids. I had the sister on tape saying she would take the kids to africa and sell them unless I gave her 5k a month. I said to her barrister if I didnt get the access I wanted I would be taking steps for the sister to never see the kids and to never have them in her care because of what she did in the Congo and what she threatend my with.
Phone went down.
10 minutes later ex's barrister called to say the would back my access claim provided I did not advance the banning order for the sister. I agreed on the grounds that the sister is never left alone with my kids and this has been agreed.
So I got what the access in the end. But it was the most challenging time of my life. You have no power and in this country 'family' court bases judgment on 'possibility or probability' not facts. Eg I admitted to swearing in arguements. She admitted punching me. My swearing was 'clear evidence of a pattern of abuse' her violence' was the 'result of cultural misunderstanding and feeling trapped in a marriage'. Genuinely unbelievable.
In the end it was all worth it. My kids and i speak on video every day and I get them for 150-170 days per year. They are great and the upheaval she put them through means we are really close. I had a therapist who was greatand helped me. She told me when feeling low (when i wasnt seeing the kids or having contact) to write a letter to them with your thoughts. It helped we opened one with my daughter who is 10 a few weeks ago.It was emotional but its increased the bond between us.
Apologies for meandering!