Hijacking this weak thread
Last night I had the strangest 1 night stand of my life
I went out drinking
When I arrived at the bar I got 2 double JD and cokes
All the girls looked much younger than I remembered. It's only been 2 years since I graduated, but I had the feeling that the college girls were now looking at me as an "older man"
I started to wonder if the last few years had aged me terribly. My hair did seem to be gradually thinning. Maybe this was more noticeable in the neon strobe lighting of the club, where hairs might appear thinner and the scalp might be more visible
I reminded myself that thinking this way is a fast path to misery, and that I was here to drink
After 4 more drinks, I began to feel courage
I scanned the dance floor. My eyes were attracted by a very tall blonde girl. She looked around 6’4” in flats. Perhaps 3 inches taller than me. “She’s big”, I thought to myself
She was in the middle of a circle of much shorter friends, the majority of whom had hungry-looking guys grinding against them. It seemed like pairing up was happening, but that she was still alone and looking around the dance floor awkwardly
Many men were probably intimidated her large stature, but I’ve always been into women significantly taller than me. Even so, I had never acted on it until last night
To friends, I expressed this as a desire to create “warrior sons” but this was a face-saving lie. In truth, I think there is something majestic about them, and that gives me a thrill
The best way I can describe it is that they look like they are from a different time in history, war maidens, females built specifically for battle — and so to romantically conquer them despite their capacity to kill you makes you a particularly worthy man
As I looked at her, I imagined running through the jungle after her, as she used a machete to slice the vines and undergrowth out of the way, and drove spears into the throats of vicious jaguars and any aggressive tribespeople that caused us issues
I walked up beside her, then got on my tippy toes to shout into her ear
“Are you a student?” I asked
“Yes” she said “I’m in my first year of college”
“I just graduated” I said, as I looked at her friends “it looks like your friends have found some interesting company”
“I know… I hate it. I come out to have fun, but as soon as we arrive, they always hook up with men, then I’m left alone when they go home with them” she complained
“Why don’t you teach them a lesson by taking me home?” I proposed
Her eyes widened, looking me up and down
I smiled “I want you to carry me out of here”
She look at me stunned, then crouched down and scooped me up with her powerful arms. My weight seemed like nothing to her. Then, she did a slow 360 degree turn, almost as though she was showing off a newborn child to everyone, then walked straight for the exit
Her house was strange. The front door didn’t open too far, because it was blockaded by her bed. We both squeezed through the small gap and into the room. It was truly huge. And even more baffling was the equally huge bed
“This isn’t normal student accommodation” I said
“My parents are rich, they didn’t want me in cramped dorms” she said “and bed is 16 king size beds pushed together, 4 X 4”
“Why so many?” I asked
“Because I’m so tall, my feet stick out of the bed and would always get cold, so my father made me one big bed by screwing together 16 beds, so they’d never stick out again”
“Makes sense” I said
“I will lie naked in this corner”, she pointed to the far right corner of the bed
“And you must begin here”, she pointed to the diagonally opposite corner
“if you can reach me without creaking the bed even once, then you can take my virginity”
She stripped completely naked, then carried me to my corner, before laying down naked on hers and whispering “good luck…”
I stood up and said “I’m too rich for this nonsense”, then walked straight home
