Congratulations Guy! You're officially a U.S. Citizen, which means you can officially get into trouble without worrying about deportation. Here's my list of the top 5 things you should do with your newfound citizenship:
1. Punch Ernie Taylor in the head next time he comes to Los Angeles. Sure, maybe you'll get a night or two in the slammer, but it will be worth it.
2. Take a crap in La Brea Tar Pits. Everyone else does.
3. Pee in Brian Dennehy's drink at the Mondrian. With any luck, he'll take a swing at you and you can have a Hollywood beatdown story to boot.
4. Bang a hot 16-year old chick you meet at the Beverly Center and post the video here.
5. Carjack Flex Wheeler. Rumor has it he doesn't put up much of a fight. Then sell the Ford Taurus on ebay.
Enjoy brother!
Special "Olympian" Ed