You know you are a Bodybuilder when…
You know you have finally made it to bodybuilderdom and become quite muscle bound…
…when your shirt unintentionally bursts open the first time.
…when clothing shops do not have your sizes anymore.
…when unknown people ask how much you bench press.
…when people turn around in the street to stare at you.
…when you cannot scratch your neck.
…when the bar won’t come all the way down to your chest anymore.
…when you wear out pants in a matter of weeks because of inner thigh friction.
…when you cannot reach the opposite shoulder to shave.
…when you cannot undress a tight shirt without assistance.
…when your feet turn flat because of your weight.
…when your shopping cart is filled with as much as possible of a few things.
…when unknown men and women come running across the street asking to feel your arms.
…when your food bills exceed your clothing bills.
…when you have sacks or piles of tubs of protein visible in your kitchen.
…when you need to apply vaseline between your thighs when walking in shorts.
…when you have no choice but to wear gym clothes at work.
…when you must sleep on your back in bed.
…when sex in a bed from IKEA becomes doubtful.
…when you need two bus seats or aircraft seats when travelling.
…when you bring food and protein drinks with you at all times.
…when the table in front of you squeaks and cracks as you merely rest one arm on it.
…when people declare you a brainless musclehead but simultaneously can’t hide how much they want you for sex.
…when you no longer fit behind the steering wheel of European city traffic cars.
…when fellow passengers scream at the air stewardess: I don’t bloody want to sit next to HIM!
…when fellow professionals ask if you have added “bouncing” to your other qualifications.
…when you without thinking about it bounce your pex and flex your arms in public.
…when you change your sounds and vocabulary in the gym doing 600+ lbs squatting.
…when you spend a good part of the day in the bathroom … reading.
…when butt-whiping becomes an effort in terms of reach.
…when you shy away from the word “small”.
…when one of your turnons is muscle soreness.
…when you know more about physiology and pharmacology than your family doctor.
…when food becomes function rather than pleasure.
…when your shadow provides sunshelter for at least two people.
…when you can’t help looking like jumbojet taking off with lats forcing your arms outwards.
…when you have to go through many doors sideways and can give up the thought of heeding Nature’s Call on board an aircraft or a train.
…when you walk like you have wet yourself.
From Roland S Persson, PhD
