Stop!

Too much!! Brilliant.
Here's a few I missed that are just as funny

Confucius say,
man who do business in whore house get jerked around
baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk
panties not best thing on earth, but next to it
woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it
man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
better to be pissed off than pissed on
sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel
man who sleep in bed of nails is holy
do not drink and park, accidents cause people

to meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better
squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts
butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders
man who live in glass house, should change in basement
man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic
foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
man who sits on stool smells like shit
woman who go to man's apartment for snack, get titbit
man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth
man who get kicked in testicles, left holding the bag
man trapped in pantry, have ass in jam
learn to masturbate - come in handy
waitress who sit on leper's lap, keep tip
man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose
cow with no legs, ground beef
baby born in car with automatic transmission, grow to become shiftless bastard
man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache
man who drive like hell, bound to get there
man who sit on tack, get point
support bacteria - is only culture some people have
man who have last laugh, not get joke
man piss in wind, wind piss back
man who eat pussy, do lip service
man who pull woman's bra strap, may get bust in face
man who eat too many prunes, get good run for money