What would you do?
I am of the belief that telling an employer or a human resources employee what is really going through your head is counterproductive: All they want to hear is that you have no intention of suing them.
I am also of the belief that if you are passed over for a promotion once, you must leave. Being passed over means you are not looked at as promotional material and you leaving will force them to reassess their promotion protocol. It's time to expose your career to someone who may see the value you bring to the table.
What do you think?
Employees do not always see themselves the way leadership sees them. I have passed over two people for promotion. Both are capable but also quite clueless. If you are a remarkably talented person who is getting outside offers that pay more, by all means take the offer and go. If you are being passed over for a promotion there is a reason. You need to find out what it is and address it. Maybe you need more expertise? Perhaps another degree? Maybe you need to hone your political skills? Maybe you need to explore how others see you. For example:
Step 1: Make a list of five people who work with you enough to comment on your personal style. Choose at least two whom you especially admire for their success in navigating their own careers.
Step 2: Tell each person that you are seeking honest feedback, and offer to take them to lunch, coffee, or happy hour if they will agree to provide honest answers to five questions that you will send in advance. Here are the questions:
• Which of my personal strengths differentiate me most?
• When people compliment me out of earshot, what themes emerge?
• When people criticize me behind my back, what do they say?
• What are two or three things I could start, stop, or change to be more effective?
• If you had to choose one thing that might be holding me back professionally, what would it be?
Step No. 3: During the feedback meeting, listen, take notes, and resist the urge to argue or interrupt. Above all, do not punish your conversation partners for speaking the truth as they see it.
Step No. 4: Decide how you plan to proceed. Will you reject anything you hear that contradicts the way you see yourself? Or will you try to deal with any issues that your conversation partners were kind and courageous enough to share with you?
Self improvement isn’t limited to the gym. Most people have too much ego to undertake these steps.