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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: MB_722 on November 11, 2009, 09:49:33 PM
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I heard a comedian say in his act, "chivalry is dead, and women killed it!" As men, many of us feel that the old fashioned gestures of chivalry go greatly unappreciated these days. Women seem to be more responsive to bad boy types who are, at times down right disrespectful and brutal towards women. Meanwhile a gentleman like yourself is ignored for the most part and goes home alone far more often the abusive knuckle head types.
Many men have come to the simple conclusion that chivalry is dead because women are unappreciative. Why bother, when you can act like a selfish jerk and get more women? This attitude is all too black and white! Not only is chivalry not dead, women love it now more than ever. You can be a gentleman and treat women well but your perspective and context in witch you interact with women needs to change!
First lets explore the folly of the so-called nice guy! The nice guy is needy and manipulative! A so-called nice guy acts chivalrous or nice to a woman in the hopes that she will like him and ultimately sleep with him. This is manipulative behavior, coming from a person who is not confident, and needs a woman's validation! Every thing a nice guy does screams: "please like me". This is wrong! Women obviously do not find this attractive; other wise, nice guys would be getting laid left and right.
Now lets explore why jerks seem to do well with women. Men who seem to treat women badly exude confidence. They are not concerned with impressing her, they are in control of themselves and the situation, and have a strong sense of self. If a woman disapproves, they don't care. This confident attitude is what women find very attractive, despite that sometimes they are treated as less than a lady! Why would women subject themselves to this kind of treatment? The unfortunate truth is there are very few men who are truly confident and know how to treat women! So they settle for the closest thing they can find: jerks. At least a jerk isn't a little puppy dog of a man groveling at her feet!
Remember, Chivalry is not dead; it is more valuable today than ever! Your attitude is what needs to change. You do not act like a gentleman out of needy insecurity but out of a sence of personal pride. When your attitude is one of self-respect women will notice. When interacting with a woman you are interested in, show confidence by being a little cocky with a touch of humor. Don't ever try to gain her approval, embrace your individual qualities and show you are secure with yourself. Being a gentleman is out of self-respect as much as it is respect for women. This means you have standards. You conduct yourself like a gentleman and expect a woman to conduct herself like a lady. When chivalry comes from a place of self-respect and confidence it becomes very attractive to women.
We should all have our eyes opened to the matter now. Confidents and self respect makes chivalry attractive to women. Needy validation seeking insecure men make chivalry creepy and very unattractive! Now that you understand the true nature of chivalry, a short primer:
We all know to open doors, right? Open any door, the car, the restaurant, the front door to your home, walk ahead of her a few steps when you near the door and open it. When you do this it should be casual, as if you do it all the time. Don't make a show of it like "hey look at me I'm opening the door for you!" this is needy. As a side note, you should open doors for any woman that approaches a door at the same time as you, whether they are young old stranger or date!
The second obvious thing a gentleman would do is pulling a woman's chair out. This is a bit different however. You should pull a woman's chair out if you are with her and it is practical. If you try to do this in a situation were it is not practical you will look needy.
The third thing a gentleman should do for a lady is always walking on the outside of the curb, nearest to the road. This is often overlooked by both men and women and will make an impression, especially if she asks why you insist on walking that way.
The last tip and another often over looked aspect of chivalry is helping a lady down or over a long step. You should go first, then turn and offer your hand to steady her. This would be a good move for all you guys who drive trucks with huge tires.
Ok guys, respect the women you share your time with and most importantly respect yourselves and you will never have to worry about your gestures going unappreciated. It will be a truly empowering feeling to be able to treat women well with confidence. Intelligent women will find this endlessly appealing; because you will understand something all the jerks and nice guys haven't a clue about.
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I do not care to read that entire novel, sir.
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I do not care
hahaha :D
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Outed.
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I heard a comedian say in his act, "chivalry is dead, and women killed it!" As men, many of us feel that the old fashioned gestures of chivalry go greatly unappreciated these days. Women seem to be more responsive to bad boy types who are, at times down right disrespectful and brutal towards women. Meanwhile a gentleman like yourself is ignored for the most part and goes home alone far more often the abusive knuckle head types.
Many men have come to the simple conclusion that chivalry is dead because women are unappreciative. Why bother, when you can act like a selfish jerk and get more women? This attitude is all too black and white! Not only is chivalry not dead, women love it now more than ever. You can be a gentleman and treat women well but your perspective and context in witch you interact with women needs to change!
First lets explore the folly of the so-called nice guy! The nice guy is needy and manipulative! A so-called nice guy acts chivalrous or nice to a woman in the hopes that she will like him and ultimately sleep with him. This is manipulative behavior, coming from a person who is not confident, and needs a woman's validation! Every thing a nice guy does screams: "please like me". This is wrong! Women obviously do not find this attractive; other wise, nice guys would be getting laid left and right.
Now lets explore why jerks seem to do well with women. Men who seem to treat women badly exude confidence. They are not concerned with impressing her, they are in control of themselves and the situation, and have a strong sense of self. If a woman disapproves, they don't care. This confident attitude is what women find very attractive, despite that sometimes they are treated as less than a lady! Why would women subject themselves to this kind of treatment? The unfortunate truth is there are very few men who are truly confident and know how to treat women! So they settle for the closest thing they can find: jerks. At least a jerk isn't a little puppy dog of a man groveling at her feet!
Remember, Chivalry is not dead; it is more valuable today than ever! Your attitude is what needs to change. You do not act like a gentleman out of needy insecurity but out of a sence of personal pride. When your attitude is one of self-respect women will notice. When interacting with a woman you are interested in, show confidence by being a little cocky with a touch of humor. Don't ever try to gain her approval, embrace your individual qualities and show you are secure with yourself. Being a gentleman is out of self-respect as much as it is respect for women. This means you have standards. You conduct yourself like a gentleman and expect a woman to conduct herself like a lady. When chivalry comes from a place of self-respect and confidence it becomes very attractive to women.
We should all have our eyes opened to the matter now. Confidents and self respect makes chivalry attractive to women. Needy validation seeking insecure men make chivalry creepy and very unattractive! Now that you understand the true nature of chivalry, a short primer:
We all know to open doors, right? Open any door, the car, the restaurant, the front door to your home, walk ahead of her a few steps when you near the door and open it. When you do this it should be casual, as if you do it all the time. Don't make a show of it like "hey look at me I'm opening the door for you!" this is needy. As a side note, you should open doors for any woman that approaches a door at the same time as you, whether they are young old stranger or date!
The second obvious thing a gentleman would do is pulling a woman's chair out. This is a bit different however. You should pull a woman's chair out if you are with her and it is practical. If you try to do this in a situation were it is not practical you will look needy.
The third thing a gentleman should do for a lady is always walking on the outside of the curb, nearest to the road. This is often overlooked by both men and women and will make an impression, especially if she asks why you insist on walking that way.
The last tip and another often over looked aspect of chivalry is helping a lady down or over a long step. You should go first, then turn and offer your hand to steady her. This would be a good move for all you guys who drive trucks with huge tires.
Ok guys, respect the women you share your time with and most importantly respect yourselves and you will never have to worry about your gestures going unappreciated. It will be a truly empowering feeling to be able to treat women well with confidence. Intelligent women will find this endlessly appealing; because you will understand something all the jerks and nice guys haven't a clue about.
Werd!
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That is pretty much true for most, sad, but true.
But eventually those looking at that bad boy selfish type grow up and and realize they deserve better.
Right?
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why are you single now Laura?
sorry to hear that
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i've said it before and i'll say it again:
some girls like "the jerk"
some girls like "the nice guy"
the girls who like "the jerk" likes the "nice guy" sometimes
the girls who like "the nice guy" like "the jerk" sometimes
this is why women can't be President-cuz they don't know what the fuck they want
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why are you single now Laura?
sorry to hear that
eh, shit happens.
But thanks. :)
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That is pretty much true for most, sad, but true.
But eventually those looking at that bad boy selfish type grow up and and realize they deserve better.
Right?
Werd!!i've said it before and i'll say it again:
some girls like "the jerk"
some girls like "the nice guy"
the girls who like "the jerk" likes the "nice guy" sometimes
the girls who like "the nice guy" like "the jerk" sometimes
this is why women can't be President-cuz they don't know what the fuck they want
Werd, Werd! True, True! I'm on that level with you, God!
In essence, it's about both men and women growing and maturing. There are three degrees for a female: Bitch, Whore, and Woman---very few get to Woman status, the ones that pick jerks, tend to be stuck in the Bitch and Whore modes. And many times they overlap. Women only deal with Men.
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Werd!!Werd, Werd! True, True! I'm on that level with you, God!
In essence, it's about both men and women growing and maturing. There are three degrees for a female: Bitch, Whore, and Woman---very few get to Woman status, the ones that pick jerks, tend to be stuck in the Bitch and Whore modes. And many times they overlap. Women only deal with Men.
you are a intelligent man
my favorite girl move is this one:
when they start contacting you (endlessly) via email about how much they like you and they tell you all the things they want to do sexually and THEN after that they start playing "hard to get" (ie they won't return your emails when you reciprocate even though they are the ones who sought you out and not the other way around)
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you are a intelligent man
my favorite girl move is this one:
when they start contacting you (endlessly) via email about how much they like you and they tell you all the things they want to do sexually and THEN after that they start playing "hard to get" (ie they won't return your emails when you reciprocate even though they are the ones who sought you out and not the other way around)
Hmmm I'm going to guess she was age 18-25?
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Hmmm I'm going to guess she was age 18-25?
she was born in 1985 so i think so.
i'm still waiting for her to reply to my last email and it has been like two days. Mind you, it doesn't matter at this point cuz i'm over it but i still want to be on good terms cuz she is BANGING
mind you, this is one of her emails to me
I could so easily fall head over heels in love with you - I feel more excitement and passion than I've felt for a man in a long time... you are perfection - from head to toe perfection!
I want to feel your big dick in every position we can think of! I want to ride you frontwards, backwards, every which way! I want you to fuck me standing up while I'm wrapped around you... I want you to fuck me on top while I play with your ass and we kiss...
I'm about to cum again!!!! I can't believe this!!!!!!
I want to see your cum so bad...
X O X O X O X O
mind you, she emailed me first
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she was born in 1985 so i think so.
i'm still waiting for her to email me back after she said (and i'll quote her)
mind you, she emailed me first
:-X
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:-X
oh come on now- that is some poetic shit right there
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you are a intelligent man
my favorite girl move is this one:
when they start contacting you (endlessly) via email about how much they like you and they tell you all the things they want to do sexually and THEN after that they start playing "hard to get" (ie they won't return your emails when you reciprocate even though they are the ones who sought you out and not the other way around)
Sad, females don't realize cooter can be like rain...sometimes there is a drought, and sometimes there is a flood watch. So, a chick playin hard to get has to realize, if she is trying to impose a "drought", you can always go somewhere else and "make it rain".
And therein lies the truth...their loss not yours...(I'm listening to Sweet November by The Deele (the group Babyface was in) and it's raining.
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Sad, females don't realize cooter can be like rain...sometimes there is a drought, and sometimes there is a flood watch. So, a chick playin hard to get has to realize, if she is trying to impose a "drought", you can always go somewhere else and "make it rain".
And therein lies the truth...their loss not yours...(I'm listening to Sweet November by The Deele (the group Babyface was in) and it's raining.
my reply to that is this -> partyhardcore> dancing bear
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my reply to that is this
partyhardcore> dancing bear
I believe you. TRhat shit with the Dancing Bear is corny. Don't need the the "furry" connotation
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I believe you. TRhat shit with the Dancing Bear is corny. Don't need the the "furry" connotation
you and I are probably the only one's who know what a "furry" is btw lol
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you and I are probably the only one's who know what a "furry" is btw lol
And Wasians, and cosplay...prolly as well.
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And Wasians, and cosplay...prolly as well.
and "feltching" and "cuckolding"
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btw, laura- given you got a thing for dark people of Italian descent you can always give me a PM
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women love a guy that kisses their ass, but they dont respect him. they guy that acts like he could care less is a challenge and the woman persues him. the moment that the man persues the woman however, she runs away.
women have built in low self esteem, let them chase you. the feel more comfortable. you will get laid and more...
look at womens tv shows and magazines, they all say the same things: you are too fat, your hair isnt right, your clothes are wrong, your nose is wrong, your ass in too big...
get it? that why you will see a fat ugly guy with a knockout, she sees herself as ugly.
now please go get some.
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I heard a comedian say in his act, "chivalry is dead, and women killed it!" As men, many of us feel that the old fashioned gestures of chivalry go greatly unappreciated these days. Women seem to be more responsive to bad boy types who are, at times down right disrespectful and brutal towards women. Meanwhile a gentleman like yourself is ignored for the most part and goes home alone far more often the abusive knuckle head types.
Many men have come to the simple conclusion that chivalry is dead because women are unappreciative. Why bother, when you can act like a selfish jerk and get more women? This attitude is all too black and white! Not only is chivalry not dead, women love it now more than ever. You can be a gentleman and treat women well but your perspective and context in witch you interact with women needs to change!
First lets explore the folly of the so-called nice guy! The nice guy is needy and manipulative! A so-called nice guy acts chivalrous or nice to a woman in the hopes that she will like him and ultimately sleep with him. This is manipulative behavior, coming from a person who is not confident, and needs a woman's validation! Every thing a nice guy does screams: "please like me". This is wrong! Women obviously do not find this attractive; other wise, nice guys would be getting laid left and right.
Now lets explore why jerks seem to do well with women. Men who seem to treat women badly exude confidence. They are not concerned with impressing her, they are in control of themselves and the situation, and have a strong sense of self. If a woman disapproves, they don't care. This confident attitude is what women find very attractive, despite that sometimes they are treated as less than a lady! Why would women subject themselves to this kind of treatment? The unfortunate truth is there are very few men who are truly confident and know how to treat women! So they settle for the closest thing they can find: jerks. At least a jerk isn't a little puppy dog of a man groveling at her feet!
Remember, Chivalry is not dead; it is more valuable today than ever! Your attitude is what needs to change. You do not act like a gentleman out of needy insecurity but out of a sence of personal pride. When your attitude is one of self-respect women will notice. When interacting with a woman you are interested in, show confidence by being a little cocky with a touch of humor. Don't ever try to gain her approval, embrace your individual qualities and show you are secure with yourself. Being a gentleman is out of self-respect as much as it is respect for women. This means you have standards. You conduct yourself like a gentleman and expect a woman to conduct herself like a lady. When chivalry comes from a place of self-respect and confidence it becomes very attractive to women.
We should all have our eyes opened to the matter now. Confidents and self respect makes chivalry attractive to women. Needy validation seeking insecure men make chivalry creepy and very unattractive! Now that you understand the true nature of chivalry, a short primer:
We all know to open doors, right? Open any door, the car, the restaurant, the front door to your home, walk ahead of her a few steps when you near the door and open it. When you do this it should be casual, as if you do it all the time. Don't make a show of it like "hey look at me I'm opening the door for you!" this is needy. As a side note, you should open doors for any woman that approaches a door at the same time as you, whether they are young old stranger or date!
The second obvious thing a gentleman would do is pulling a woman's chair out. This is a bit different however. You should pull a woman's chair out if you are with her and it is practical. If you try to do this in a situation were it is not practical you will look needy.
The third thing a gentleman should do for a lady is always walking on the outside of the curb, nearest to the road. This is often overlooked by both men and women and will make an impression, especially if she asks why you insist on walking that way.
The last tip and another often over looked aspect of chivalry is helping a lady down or over a long step. You should go first, then turn and offer your hand to steady her. This would be a good move for all you guys who drive trucks with huge tires.
Ok guys, respect the women you share your time with and most importantly respect yourselves and you will never have to worry about your gestures going unappreciated. It will be a truly empowering feeling to be able to treat women well with confidence. Intelligent women will find this endlessly appealing; because you will understand something all the jerks and nice guys haven't a clue about.
CliffsNotes version please! ;D
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Same thing....real men bust nuts on bitch*s chins and slap them for not asking for more ..
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Just be yourself. Dont try to change who you are to get a woman. Dont try to be a bad boy. I hear guys brag how they started treating women like crap to get the women to respond more favorably towards them.
These guys dont seem to realize that they are allowing a woman to change the way they think and act. These guys are not in control....they allow women to change them. Dont be controlled by women
if you are a nice guy, treat women nicely. If they dont appreciate it, forget them because they have mental problems. Dont let their mental issues transfer to you
PS- its not your job to figure out why they have mental problems.
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stop being such a pussy
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Just be yourself. Dont try to change who you are to get a woman. Dont try to be a bad boy. I hear guys brag how they started treat women like crap to get the women to respond more favorably towards them.
These guys dont seem to realize that they are allowing a woman to change the way they think and act. These guys are not in control....they allow women to change them
if you are a nice guy, treat women nicely. If they dont appreciate it, forget them because they have mental problems. Dont let their mental issues transfer to you
PS- its not your job to figure out why they have mental problems.
thats all good and well but when 6 months and then a year pass and you haven't got laid... then what? haha
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Sad, females don't realize cooter can be like rain...sometimes there is a drought, and sometimes there is a flood watch. So, a chick playin hard to get has to realize, if she is trying to impose a "drought", you can always go somewhere else and "make it rain".
And therein lies the truth...their loss not yours...(I'm listening to Sweet November by The Deele (the group Babyface was in) and it's raining.
outed
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be yourself and if you die a virgin then ;D
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thats all good and well but when 6 months and then a year pass and you haven't got laid... then what? haha
believe it or not there are women who dont want to be treated like crap
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stop being such a pussy
I just feel that a man should not allow a woman to get into his mind and change him for the worse
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I know a few women that chased the bad boy types when they were younger. They are now single moms and are struggling finacially. They are unhappy and frustrated now.
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I know a few women that chased the bad boy types when they were younger. They are now single moms and are struggling finacially. They are unhappy and frustrated now.
thats where the quiet and mild mannered getbiggers come in :-\ they are no fun in the younger years... too serious...
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its concerning that there always seems to be threads like this on getbig... I mean you got a bunch of guys who must look "ok" and have confidence and must be in ok financial states... but still struggling with women etc. etc. you would think these guys would have the upper hand...
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thats where the quiet and mild mannered getbiggers come in :-\ they are no fun in the younger years... too serious...
who wants a frustrated single mom (with kids running wild) who complains about needing money??
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Maybe they shouldn't of just assumed that the man would pay for their lives.
yeah they have lots of regrets now
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Just be yourself. Dont try to change who you are to get a woman. Dont try to be a bad boy. I hear guys brag how they started treating women like crap to get the women to respond more favorably towards them.
These guys dont seem to realize that they are allowing a woman to change the way they think and act. These guys are not in control....they allow women to change them. Dont be controlled by women
if you are a nice guy, treat women nicely. If they dont appreciate it, forget them because they have mental problems. Dont let their mental issues transfer to you
PS- its not your job to figure out why they have mental problems.
Wisdom
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I don't think it's that much of a problem on getbig tbh.
well I have noticed there seems to be always be at least one thread of this nature attracting attention on the g&o
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Just be yourself. Dont try to change who you are to get a woman. Dont try to be a bad boy. I hear guys brag how they started treating women like crap to get the women to respond more favorably towards them.
These guys dont seem to realize that they are allowing a woman to change the way they think and act. These guys are not in control....they allow women to change them. Dont be controlled by women
if you are a nice guy, treat women nicely. If they dont appreciate it, forget them because they have mental problems. Dont let their mental issues transfer to you
PS- its not your job to figure out why they have mental problems.
Word !!
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women are genetically prone to have a lower self estime/appreciation of themselves scientifics say in the last studies. Their familial, social environment, education and other factors also play a part, but it has been proven that self confidence is a trait of personnality that is mainly genetically predetermined.
Recent studies also find that MORE AND MORE MEN are getting a lot more emotionnal and lack more and more confidence GENETICALLY over the last decades, that the number of young boys with a low self esteem is increasing.
Also, you want the ultimate tip to get girls and stable relationships: COMMUNICATION SKILLS. If you can communicate, you can learn about others, and about YOURSELF and improve theirs and your own quality of life. But as it has also been proven, paradoxally people communicate less and less in our modern occidentals societies even if we are in the so called era of communication.
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PS- its not your job to figure out why they have mental problems.
Most retarded comment of the day. It implies you shouldnt care about knowing the person you live with. How stupid is that?
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its concerning that there always seems to be threads like this on getbig... I mean you got a bunch of guys who must look "ok" and have confidence and must be in ok financial states... but still struggling with women etc. etc. you would think these guys would have the upper hand...
hahahaha i bet a bunch aka the majority of 'guys' on here couldnt bang a girl this very day if their life depended on it and im not talking about paying for sex either hahaha pathetic bunch of bitches on this site lol
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Most retarded comment of the day. It implies you shouldnt care about knowing the person you live with. How stupid is that?
The point is to tell the loopy dame to go fuck a duck before she becomes the person you live with.
"Helping a woman through a hard time is chivalrous. Helping her through the same hard time 100 times over is time better spent with someone sane." - A Voice of Experience.
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Most retarded comment of the day. It implies you shouldnt care about knowing the person you live with. How stupid is that?
im not talking about not learning about /helping your wife. Totally different topic
this discussion is about girls that like bad boys
Im talking about guys who sit around a obsess over trying to figure out women with mental problems....or worse, men who think its their job to cure these women
its not your job to change people.
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i drove a girl home from work a few days while her car got fixed,i always open the door for a women to get in but she did what only a few women have done for me ,thats open my door from inside and push it open for me.my wife dosen't even do that :-\.
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i drove a girl home from work a few days while her car got fixed,i always open the door for a women to get in but she did what only a few women have done for me ,thats open my door from inside and push it open for me.my wife dosen't even do that :-\.
Rabbit boiler! ;D
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Recovering From Being a “Nice” Guy
by Alex Strandberg · 29 comments
You have listened to her complain about the jerk who treated her badly countless times only to watch her go out with him again and again. All of your selfless acts fall to the wayside only to hear about her mistreatment the following week.
You are left in pit of despair and confusing as the mantra “nice guy’s finish last” repeats in your head. “When will she wake up? When will she realize that there is a nice guy who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated sitting right here?”
She will never realize this because you aren’t in fact a nice guy. Appearances can be deceiving and the “nice guy” act is one of the biggest deceptions around.
On the surface nice guys appear to be selfless, kind, caring human beings but this is far from the truth. Beneath their generous acts and humble words lurks something darker. A dark side few nice guys care to admit because nice guys aren’t really that nice.
Here is a paraphrase from the book “No More Mr. Nice Guy”
” :
Nice Guys avoid conflict.
Nice Guys hold contempt for women.
Nice Guys have difficulty making their needs a priority.
Nice Guys lack conviction in their opinions or beliefs. Typically they will wait and see what the popular opinion is before taking a stand. If a rift happens in the group they will wait to see who is winning before taking a side.
Nice Guys lack loyalty. They develop a chameleon like type of behavior when interacting with others. If one member of a group doesn’t like another the nice guy will take on the belief of whoever they around. One day they will talk badly of one member and the next they will reverse their opinion.
Nice Guys are dishonest. They hide their mistakes and say what they think people want to hear. They will say pretty much anything to gain the approval of others.
Nice Guys are secretive. They are so driven to seek approval that they will hide anything they believe might upset anyone.
Nice Guys are manipulative. They have a hard time making their needs a priority and have difficulty asking for what they want clearly, so they feel powerless and result to manipulation.
Nice Guys are controlling in order to keep their world smooth.
Nice Guys give to get and expect some kind of reciprocation.
Nice Guys are passive-aggressive.
Nice Guys are full of rage, a rage which tends to erupt at some of the most unexpected and seemingly inappropriate times.
Nice Guys have difficulty setting boundaries, and instead feel like victims.
Nice Guys are attracted to people and situations that need fixing.
Nice Guys are terrible listeners because they are too busy trying to figure out how to defend themselves or fix the other person’s problem.
Nice Guys form relationships with partners who are “projects” or “diamonds in the rough.”
And Nice Guys tend to swing back and forth between the nice side and the dark side.
Reframing Being a “Nice” Guy
If you have found yourself in any of these qualities odds are that you are a “nice” guy. While nice guys do have some redeeming qualities overall they lack mature emotional balance.
Their overall theme in life is one of seeking approval. They want everyone to like them because on a fundamental level they don’t like themselves. They reach out for the approval of others because they aren’t content with their own.
They want to be liked by everyone but the truth is that NO MATTER what you do NOT EVERYONE will like you. You can’t please the entire crowd so it’s not worth the effort. There are some people that will despise you because of your desire to be liked. You are playing a game that you can never win.
Every time you try to be a nice guy at the cost of your integrity or your honesty you are hurting yourself. It may be a small little lie or agreeing with something that you don’t truly believe in but you are just making your situation worse.
Honesty, integrity and courage are at the core of confidence and high self esteem. Every time you sacrifice one of these principles you are chipping away at your self esteem. Do this long enough and there will be nothing left.
Recovering From Being “Nice” Guy
The first step is to become aware of your “nice” guy tendencies. Awareness is half the battle in conquering any issue. You can’t fix something that you don’t know is broken.
Be aware of every nice act that you preform and understand the real motivation behind it. Ask yourself “did I do this just to be nice or to be liked? Did I put the needs of others above my own just for their approval? Was my nice gesture genuine or was it done with the intention of getting something in return?”
On some level you understand what your motivation behind every nice act is. You know that you are doing it for approval. Your mind re-enforces these “nice” acts in two ways:
1. Rationalizing your behavior
2. Judging others for not doing what you do
The most common rationalization for your behavior that your mind will create is “I’m just trying to be nice.” Every lie, manipulation and bending over backwards for people will be rationalized by this thought.
A nice guy judges others for not being a nice as him. A martyr has a load of resentment towards people who don’t do the things that he does. They create an arrogance and draw part of their self esteem from having a better than you type of attitude.
If you look deeper into this judgment you will find jealousy. They are jealous of the people who have boundaries, aren’t self sacrificing for others and can get what they desire. They wish they could do the same but would run the risk of losing the validation they so desperately crave.
If you look at how much a nice guy judges a jerk you will see mass amounts of jealousy. He judges the jerk for the way he treats the girl, but in reality he wishes he could have her. He can’t be with her so he resorts to bitterness and taking a holier than thou route.
The second step is to drop this habit. This step can be very difficult because some of you have been practicing “nice” guy behaviors for most of your life. The external validation that you receive from others can become very addicting. Here are some ways you can put an end to this “nice” guy act:
-Start saying no to people. Write out a list of things that you do simply because you want to be liked and stop doing them. You should end up saying no to people far more than you say yes.
It’s not wrong to do for others but only if it’s done on your own terms. Help people out but only if you truly want to and without the expectation of getting something in return.
-Get your priorities in line and never break them. The needs of others should come fourth on your list of priorities below your health, integrity and your mission.
-Make honesty and integrity a priority above being liked, it will help you sleep better at night. Also become more open with your opinion and more upfront with people.
-Learn to draw your self esteem and approval from within. Being liked by others isn’t a bad thing but it becomes one when it’s your only means of feeling good about yourself.
-Develop a spine and start to stand up for yourself. It’s impossible to truly love yourself and draw self esteem from within if you are letting people walk all over you. Every time you let someone treat you badly your self esteem drops just a little bit more.
-Adopt the frame of “hey, I’m not for everyone.” Get used to the fact that whatever you do not everyone is going to like you. It’s ironic that once you let go of trying to get people to love you the more love you will draw into your life.
-”I trust the universe to supply my abundance and prosperity.” That nagging voice in the back of your head will be right when it tells you that being more authentic and honest will cause most of your “friends” to go bye bye. They will be upset over losing their doormat and nice guy friend who will do anything for them.Get over it and trust the universe to supply you with friends.
There will be a transition period were you will lose a good bit of your friends. By weathering the grace period you will allow better and more genuine friends to come into your life. Your life will be filled with more abundance than you can handle.
Try a 30 day challenge in order to change your “nice” guy behaviors. Take 30 days and completely change your behavior. Make a commitment for 30 days to standing up for yourself and not being so nice.
Tell as many people as possible so you are forced to keep this commitment. If you have a nice guy friend show him this article and make him your support buddy during this 30 day challenge.
Going full out for 30 days straight will help you change your behavior and beliefs on a deep level. At the end of the month it will be extremely difficult to go back to who you used to be. The new “not so nice guy” behaviors will be programed and ingrained into you.
You will be taking a large risk by dropping the “nice” guy act and it may feel safer to keep things just the way they are. So if you are satisfied with the fact that the only time a woman gets wet around you is when she is crying on your shoulder then I suggest that you continue on that path. But if you aren’t happy with your life or your success with women then I think it’s time for a change.
http://innergamereframe.com/recovering-from-being-a-nice-guy/ (http://innergamereframe.com/recovering-from-being-a-nice-guy/)
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i drove a girl home from work a few days while her car got fixed,i always open the door for a women to get in but she did what only a few women have done for me ,thats open my door from inside and push it open for me.my wife dosen't even do that :-\.
I firmly believe in the "Bronx Tale Test:"
Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
Calogero 'C' Anello: Just like that?
Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.
However, with the modern day cars like our BMW's NJ, that's not the best/easiest test to do since we have automatic locks!
I also think the trick to many women is to come off as an asshole through your first few encounters, and then before you overdo that, you turn into the nice guy and keep being entertaining. </nutshell>
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I firmly believe in the "Bronx Tale Test:"
Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
Calogero 'C' Anello: Just like that?
Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.
Like I care :D
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Like I care :D
You better care you bitch!!! That test will let you know if she's the girl you should care about for the rest of your life! :D
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You better care you bitch!!! That test will let you know if she's the girl you should care about for the rest of your life! :D
right now I don't care and I don't think I'll care for a while :D
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right now I don't care and I don't think I'll care for a while :D
You haven't been laid, nor have you cared to be laid in the past few months/years have you?
Wait, don't answer that....I really don't care! ;)
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You haven't been laid, nor have you cared to be laid in the past few months/years have you?
Wait, don't answer that....I really don't care! ;)
hahah :D
have a great day! ... I don't care if you have a great day :D
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i drove a girl home from work a few days while her car got fixed,i always open the door for a women to get in but she did what only a few women have done for me ,thats open my door from inside and push it open for me.my wife dosen't even do that :-\.
alright sonny ::) ::)
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you re not going to go far in life if your life "lessons" are one liners coming from movies :-\
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alright sonny ::) ::)
THANX NOW RUN ALONG MEZZA FINNOCCIO...
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MEZZA FINNOCCIO...
lol
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THANX NOW RUN ALONG MEZZA FINNOCCIO...
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Also, you want the ultimate tip to get girls and stable relationships: COMMUNICATION SKILLS. If you can communicate, you can learn about others, and about YOURSELF and improve theirs and your own quality of life. But as it has also been proven, paradoxally people communicate less and less in our modern occidentals societies even if we are in the so called era of communication.
Interesting, but the marked part is a bit unclear to me. What exactly are you referring to?
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women love a guy that kisses their ass
not as much as they love a man who licks and sucks their ass
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Just be yourself. Dont try to change who you are to get a woman.
if what you are doing rarely or if ever works, you need to make changes
doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, einstein defined that as insanity
E
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You (like most women) just assume that it's the womens right to choose partner, guess what it goes both ways. Most women are manipulative, way to concerned about what other people think of them, always try to do stuff so other people can think better of them and therefore have "higher" social value. It's like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it. "Badboy guys" are much better than women who wear a fake social mask.
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this thread was about women and the choices they make between gentlemen and bad boys. ::)
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Are you a fucking idiot? This thread is about men and their behaviours to attract women. Sexist c.nt.
Now, now...overuse of verbal venom is not needed. Remember, Nice guys hold contempt for women ;)
idiot would have suffice
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I expect the woman to open the door for me.....
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stop being such a pussy
Best advice ever.
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WTF? What does any of this have to do with shredded glutes?
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_mVn8bGm3ylc/Rsj46Y90XHI/AAAAAAAAACk/0Sj27jHesro/s320/colem7.jpg)
This whole thread....OUTED! >:(
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WTF? What does any of this have to do with shredded glutes?
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_mVn8bGm3ylc/Rsj46Y90XHI/AAAAAAAAACk/0Sj27jHesro/s320/colem7.jpg)
This whole thread....OUTED! >:(
sharpen that more so we can see the striations leading up to his ball sack.
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That is pretty much true for most, sad, but true.
But eventually those looking at that bad boy selfish type grow up and and realize they deserve better.
Right?
true but then we dont want there wore out gash they had there chance
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Recovering From Being a “Nice” Guy
by Alex Strandberg · 29 comments
You have listened to her complain about the jerk who treated her badly countless times only to watch her go out with him again and again. All of your selfless acts fall to the wayside only to hear about her mistreatment the following week.
You are left in pit of despair and confusing as the mantra “nice guy’s finish last” repeats in your head. “When will she wake up? When will she realize that there is a nice guy who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated sitting right here?”
She will never realize this because you aren’t in fact a nice guy. Appearances can be deceiving and the “nice guy” act is one of the biggest deceptions around.
On the surface nice guys appear to be selfless, kind, caring human beings but this is far from the truth. Beneath their generous acts and humble words lurks something darker. A dark side few nice guys care to admit because nice guys aren’t really that nice.
Here is a paraphrase from the book “No More Mr. Nice Guy”
” :
Nice Guys avoid conflict.
Nice Guys hold contempt for women.
Nice Guys have difficulty making their needs a priority.
Nice Guys lack conviction in their opinions or beliefs. Typically they will wait and see what the popular opinion is before taking a stand. If a rift happens in the group they will wait to see who is winning before taking a side.
Nice Guys lack loyalty. They develop a chameleon like type of behavior when interacting with others. If one member of a group doesn’t like another the nice guy will take on the belief of whoever they around. One day they will talk badly of one member and the next they will reverse their opinion.
Nice Guys are dishonest. They hide their mistakes and say what they think people want to hear. They will say pretty much anything to gain the approval of others.
Nice Guys are secretive. They are so driven to seek approval that they will hide anything they believe might upset anyone.
Nice Guys are manipulative. They have a hard time making their needs a priority and have difficulty asking for what they want clearly, so they feel powerless and result to manipulation.
Nice Guys are controlling in order to keep their world smooth.
Nice Guys give to get and expect some kind of reciprocation.
Nice Guys are passive-aggressive.
Nice Guys are full of rage, a rage which tends to erupt at some of the most unexpected and seemingly inappropriate times.
Nice Guys have difficulty setting boundaries, and instead feel like victims.
Nice Guys are attracted to people and situations that need fixing.
Nice Guys are terrible listeners because they are too busy trying to figure out how to defend themselves or fix the other person’s problem.
Nice Guys form relationships with partners who are “projects” or “diamonds in the rough.”
And Nice Guys tend to swing back and forth between the nice side and the dark side.
Reframing Being a “Nice” Guy
If you have found yourself in any of these qualities odds are that you are a “nice” guy. While nice guys do have some redeeming qualities overall they lack mature emotional balance.
Their overall theme in life is one of seeking approval. They want everyone to like them because on a fundamental level they don’t like themselves. They reach out for the approval of others because they aren’t content with their own.
They want to be liked by everyone but the truth is that NO MATTER what you do NOT EVERYONE will like you. You can’t please the entire crowd so it’s not worth the effort. There are some people that will despise you because of your desire to be liked. You are playing a game that you can never win.
Every time you try to be a nice guy at the cost of your integrity or your honesty you are hurting yourself. It may be a small little lie or agreeing with something that you don’t truly believe in but you are just making your situation worse.
Honesty, integrity and courage are at the core of confidence and high self esteem. Every time you sacrifice one of these principles you are chipping away at your self esteem. Do this long enough and there will be nothing left.
Recovering From Being “Nice” Guy
The first step is to become aware of your “nice” guy tendencies. Awareness is half the battle in conquering any issue. You can’t fix something that you don’t know is broken.
Be aware of every nice act that you preform and understand the real motivation behind it. Ask yourself “did I do this just to be nice or to be liked? Did I put the needs of others above my own just for their approval? Was my nice gesture genuine or was it done with the intention of getting something in return?”
On some level you understand what your motivation behind every nice act is. You know that you are doing it for approval. Your mind re-enforces these “nice” acts in two ways:
1. Rationalizing your behavior
2. Judging others for not doing what you do
The most common rationalization for your behavior that your mind will create is “I’m just trying to be nice.” Every lie, manipulation and bending over backwards for people will be rationalized by this thought.
A nice guy judges others for not being a nice as him. A martyr has a load of resentment towards people who don’t do the things that he does. They create an arrogance and draw part of their self esteem from having a better than you type of attitude.
If you look deeper into this judgment you will find jealousy. They are jealous of the people who have boundaries, aren’t self sacrificing for others and can get what they desire. They wish they could do the same but would run the risk of losing the validation they so desperately crave.
If you look at how much a nice guy judges a jerk you will see mass amounts of jealousy. He judges the jerk for the way he treats the girl, but in reality he wishes he could have her. He can’t be with her so he resorts to bitterness and taking a holier than thou route.
The second step is to drop this habit. This step can be very difficult because some of you have been practicing “nice” guy behaviors for most of your life. The external validation that you receive from others can become very addicting. Here are some ways you can put an end to this “nice” guy act:
-Start saying no to people. Write out a list of things that you do simply because you want to be liked and stop doing them. You should end up saying no to people far more than you say yes.
It’s not wrong to do for others but only if it’s done on your own terms. Help people out but only if you truly want to and without the expectation of getting something in return.
-Get your priorities in line and never break them. The needs of others should come fourth on your list of priorities below your health, integrity and your mission.
-Make honesty and integrity a priority above being liked, it will help you sleep better at night. Also become more open with your opinion and more upfront with people.
-Learn to draw your self esteem and approval from within. Being liked by others isn’t a bad thing but it becomes one when it’s your only means of feeling good about yourself.
-Develop a spine and start to stand up for yourself. It’s impossible to truly love yourself and draw self esteem from within if you are letting people walk all over you. Every time you let someone treat you badly your self esteem drops just a little bit more.
-Adopt the frame of “hey, I’m not for everyone.” Get used to the fact that whatever you do not everyone is going to like you. It’s ironic that once you let go of trying to get people to love you the more love you will draw into your life.
-”I trust the universe to supply my abundance and prosperity.” That nagging voice in the back of your head will be right when it tells you that being more authentic and honest will cause most of your “friends” to go bye bye. They will be upset over losing their doormat and nice guy friend who will do anything for them.Get over it and trust the universe to supply you with friends.
There will be a transition period were you will lose a good bit of your friends. By weathering the grace period you will allow better and more genuine friends to come into your life. Your life will be filled with more abundance than you can handle.
Try a 30 day challenge in order to change your “nice” guy behaviors. Take 30 days and completely change your behavior. Make a commitment for 30 days to standing up for yourself and not being so nice.
Tell as many people as possible so you are forced to keep this commitment. If you have a nice guy friend show him this article and make him your support buddy during this 30 day challenge.
Going full out for 30 days straight will help you change your behavior and beliefs on a deep level. At the end of the month it will be extremely difficult to go back to who you used to be. The new “not so nice guy” behaviors will be programed and ingrained into you.
You will be taking a large risk by dropping the “nice” guy act and it may feel safer to keep things just the way they are. So if you are satisfied with the fact that the only time a woman gets wet around you is when she is crying on your shoulder then I suggest that you continue on that path. But if you aren’t happy with your life or your success with women then I think it’s time for a change.
http://innergamereframe.com/recovering-from-being-a-nice-guy/ (http://innergamereframe.com/recovering-from-being-a-nice-guy/)
I live by a simple rule in life: "You can't change a grown adult so don't bother trying. All you can do is lead by example."
I treat those closest to me with respect and do whatever I can to help them, but I don't tell them their business or how they should live their lives...that absolutely don't work. I don't offer unsolicited advice, but I will listen and I will offer advice only if asked. I don't believe in this "bad boy"/"good guy" b.s. I believe in the trickle down effect of laying a solid foundation for relationships and friendships....if people respect you and see that you're doing the right things most everything else will happen the right way (not everything, but most things). You can't and shouldn't try to please everyone, but you should put your best foot forward as much as possible. Don't be some lame ass doormat, but also don't be some aloof asshole that puts up this hardass front of no compassion. You must respect yourself because if you don't no one else will; although, you must show respect for others but take care of your business first. You can't help others if you aren't squared away first. We all joke that women are attracted to money, but really they're attracted to self-respect and stability.....not over confidence (this is a boy's perception). If you respect yourself and have laid a good foundation everything else including money, physicality, family, friends, sex, education, etc... usually finds it way into the equation seamlessly.
In summary, just be a self-respecting, compassionate person that isn't a pussy and you'll keep the majority of your shit in line.
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female friend once explained this to me a loooonngg time ago in her thinking she was the spokeswoman for the entire female race she said:
women want guys who are funny not silly
women want guys who are gentle and tender but not wimps
women want guys who are well off but dont' show it off
personally i think she and other women don't know what the hell they want from minute to minute! except wanting a guy who has money, that is a fact!
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Fuck it, Sean Connery said it best in that famous interview to Barbara Walters... a woman needs a good smack every once in a while, to keep her in line...
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Fuck it, Sean Connery said it best in that famous interview to Barbara Walters... a woman needs a good smack every once in a while, to keep her in line...
Yeah, we should start with your mom for conceiving you......
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Yeah, we should start with your mom for conceiving you......
Hahaha, easy pussy boy.. I know some of you like to put women on a pedestal, it's obvious who wears the dress in your household.
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Hahaha, easy pussy boy.. I know some of you like to put women on a pedestal, it's obvious who wears the dress in your household.
nothing like that, she should just be punished for bringing you into this world..... 8)
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nothing like that, she should just be punished for bringing you into this world..... 8)
So you don't believe that "captain equipoise" is an alpha-male? :D
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So you don't believe that "captain equipoise" is an alpha-male? :D
pussy boy is probably some 15 year old emo kid who cries in the corner when it rains and lights scented candles to get in touch with his inner 'feminine' self... :) it's ok, we need those beta males in the world too, to be the shoulder for our bitches to cry on when pull some bad shit... of course he'll never fuck said female because he'll be too busy being the 'friend' that listens and 'understands' hahahahaha..