Found this here:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57310It should of been called " Confessions of Squadfather."
Hello, I'm a fatass. Really. I weight 350lbs and am 5 feet tall. I'm unable to drive a car or see my penis when I
masturbate, and I masturbate alot because I'm unable to get laid, and like all fat people I have no sense of
control. Alot of people are personally offended when they see fatasses like me, but don't know why. So I've compiled
many reasons as to why people throw bags of urine at me, and many others in the lardass community.
1.Fat people like to think they are aren't fat.
Think about it. when was the last time you saw a tub of guts stumbling along knocking things over with their
hips(Male or female) astonished that they are destroying a small mexican resturant. Or the last time you saw a
fattie trying to buy clothes that normal humans wear, then feel bad that they don't fit and then eat a walrus to
feel good again? It's not because we are trying to make your children cry, it's because after eating a garden salad
a week ago we think we're aneorexically thin and ambedextrous.
2.Fat people are disgusting to look at.the last time you were at a beach, I bet you saw a fat thing that looks like is got lost from it's pod start walking
around looking for seafood. with rolls of fat sloshing like the shoreline. People aren't ment to look like
lava-lamps with legs. It's offensive.
3.Fat people are unfuckable.When was the last time you thought about fucking Camryn Manhime or sitting on Rush limbaugh's face? that's right
only once: after I asked you, and it was horrible wasn't it.
4.Fat people smell bad.As a fat man I personally know, but you may not, that fat asses have many more cracks and crevaces and since they
all can't be reached many go unattended. hence Fat man stink. Fat girl stink isn't as bad because they spend more
time in the tub getting to know the faucet because it's the only thing that that will be able to stimulate their
massive vaginas.
5.Fat people are lightweights.I know what you're thinking: "thAT DoEs'Nt maKe sEnSe LOL1111!" Actually if you thought that you're probabally a
sack of living butter yourself. It means fat people can't hold their liquor. Think of the last time you went to a
bar, it was the biggest fattest scariest looking freak that was tanked after a sip of a cheap german draft. College
guys know it from frat parties that fat guys are candyasses and are the loudest most annoying people they cause they
get drunk so fast from literally smelling alcohol
6.Fat people are unisexually.This one goes with how fatasses are unfuckable, Fat guys have tiny cocks and fat women have massive vaginals. Not
vaginas, Vaginals, that's how big they are.
7.Fat people aren't tough.(Some other guy brought this up)Being tought takes disciple, to be tough you have to say "no" to yourself, If a fatass can't say "no" to a
krispy creme treat, how are they going to stop a horde a zombies?
8.Fat people are always eating.Normal humans can eat food and not get fat because the human body is able to process food that's eaten if it's being
burned off or consumed in fair amounts. The human body can't handle all the biscut dough that fat people eat. In
order to get fat, Lardasses have to consume several pounds of food in order to feed the mexican families living in
their bellies.
9.Fat People are lazy.Because it's hard to move so much meat, and cause we suck. And you know...
1
0.Fat people can't think of ten ideas without eating a cornbeef sandwich.It's true and it needs mustard, but I'm too lazy to get it.
OK so now you know why we suck so bad, no go forth and laugh at us while watching us ordering at del taco.
