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Author Topic: ... if he cheated on you?  (Read 7678 times)
24KT
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« Reply #100 on: May 17, 2007, 05:18:00 PM »

The act or process of forgiveness, is not one designed to benefit the offender, but the offended.
It's greatest power lays in it's ability to heal the offended, and allow them to move on.
You do it to benefit yourself. It's bad enough you have been betrayed. There is no point in compounding the damage already done to you by being locked in a prison of bitterness & fear, reliving the trauma over & over. Forgiving others for their transgressions against you, doesn't imply you are giving THEM a free get out of jail card, ...the act of your forgiveness towards others is YOUR free get out of jail card. 

http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=149360.0
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Laura Lee
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« Reply #101 on: May 18, 2007, 05:48:28 AM »

I don't believe it.  I am sure none of you could forgive your mate if you walked into a room and saw them "with" another person.  I am sure that if something like this has happened to you, you certainly don't look at the person in the same light ever again, and if you don't...then you haven't forgiven them.

Moving on is one thing, forgiving them for such betrayal is another.
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Cheesy Weee
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« Reply #102 on: May 18, 2007, 02:55:00 PM »

It's a bit cliche, but time heals all wounds.   I think time and forgiveness go hand in hand.   I was hurt by a friend and couldn't forgive until several years later, but I finally was genuinely able to get to that place.
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trab
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« Reply #103 on: May 18, 2007, 03:14:55 PM »

I don't believe it.  I am sure none of you could forgive your mate if you walked into a room and saw them "with" another person.  I am sure that if something like this has happened to you, you certainly don't look at the person in the same light ever again, and if you don't...then you haven't forgiven them.

Moving on is one thing, forgiving them for such betrayal is another.

I couldn't agree more. All the mushy stuff dont fix some things. There are a few peeps Im lookin forward to dancing on their graves... But getting all hung up on carrying , nurturing hate etc is just counter productive.
Reveling in seeing them get theirs is just fine though.
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« Reply #104 on: May 18, 2007, 11:56:21 PM »

I couldn't agree more. All the mushy stuff dont fix some things. There are a few peeps Im lookin forward to dancing on their graves... But getting all hung up on carrying , nurturing hate etc is just counter productive.
Reveling in seeing them get theirs is just fine though.

Who says you can't do both?  Wink
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trab
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« Reply #105 on: May 19, 2007, 04:04:21 PM »

Every good businessman I know has at least a slight taste for revenge.
Getting all consumed by it's selfdestructive, but I got no problem with enjoying payback.
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« Reply #106 on: May 20, 2007, 05:24:23 PM »

don't get mad, get even hehe

Nah I don't play it like that, if something like that would happen I would invest no more energy, for good or bad, in that person.
You can't forget nor forgive a downright betrayal, it's a small everglowing ember in the back of your mind. the relationship has forever entered a different path, and you may get very close to the intended course again but you will never get on it. Some still try because they fear losing their relationship and that's a bad motive. A break of trust would be the end of the relationship for me, it's not something I would take into a new relationship.
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« Reply #107 on: May 26, 2007, 03:25:13 PM »

Nope....sorry.  No exceptions

1 strike and you are out.

I, as a wife, NEVER play second to ANY OTHER FEMALE besides his mother.

If he can put me out of his head for the time it takes to do "his" thing....I can put him out of mine for good.

well put. If he cheated, hes out. It shows a huge disrespect for the female & shows how he feels about the relationship. I dont cheat on him, so I expect the same respect.
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drkaje
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« Reply #108 on: May 26, 2007, 04:53:35 PM »

I don't believe it.  I am sure none of you could forgive your mate if you walked into a room and saw them "with" another person.  I am sure that if something like this has happened to you, you certainly don't look at the person in the same light ever again, and if you don't...then you haven't forgiven them.

Moving on is one thing, forgiving them for such betrayal is another.

Being able to forgive is important for growth as a person, otherwise we end up carrying tones of bad baggage around with us everwhere. Worse yet (and this might not make a lot of sense), we end up having old arguments with new people.

I always say "forgive but don't forget".  Smiley It's stupid to let the same dog bite you twice.
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Earl1972
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« Reply #109 on: May 26, 2007, 05:02:13 PM »

Being able to forgive is important for growth as a person, otherwise we end up carrying tones of bad baggage around with us everwhere. Worse yet (and this might not make a lot of sense), we end up having old arguments with new people.

I always say "forgive but don't forget".  Smiley It's stupid to let the same dog bite you twice.

if you don't forget how do you forgive?

E
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E
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« Reply #110 on: May 26, 2007, 06:21:55 PM »

if you don't forget how do you forgive?

E

We should forgive, for our own sakes. That doesn't mean give them another chance to screw around.

Forgiveness is fine but forgetfulness is dangerous. I really do find the old "once a cheater, always a cheater" saying useful. Considering how PC a lot of people have reacted on this thread.. it's pretty obvious there are many here who have been on both sides of the cheating equation.

There are probably a gazillion reasons realationships don't work out. Cheating is only one of them.  Can a person make a mistake and slip? Yes. But in general I believe someone who has cheated once will probably cheat again eventually. Usually people don't know the reason for messing around. If you don't know why.... how will you know why not to again?
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« Reply #111 on: May 26, 2007, 06:40:06 PM »

Being able to forgive is important for growth as a person, otherwise we end up carrying tones of bad baggage around with us everwhere. Worse yet (and this might not make a lot of sense), we end up having old arguments with new people.

I always say "forgive but don't forget".  Smiley It's stupid to let the same dog bite you twice.

Naw, The Old arguments w/ new people thing makes lots of sense...See it all the time.

And, getting bit twice IS Stupid! (Or worse, 50 times and counting....) That kind WANTS to fail.
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« Reply #112 on: May 27, 2007, 05:17:47 AM »

Hi omg. Please view the thread titled "If you would like to post on this board" and comply before posting again on the Girl's Boards, otherwise your posts will be deleted.

Thanks

kindly specify which rule have i broken now miss moderator

yours trule,
male chauvinist
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Laura Lee
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« Reply #113 on: May 28, 2007, 02:36:31 PM »

kindly specify which rule have i broken now miss moderator

yours trule,
male chauvinist
This one mr. smarty-pants:

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on: September 07, 2006, 07:07:12 PM Quote Modify Remove Split Topic 

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