Author Topic: what is the record size for a human turd?  (Read 12806 times)

JOHN MATRIX

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what is the record size for a human turd?
« on: June 21, 2007, 11:45:58 PM »
i saw something today that was both horrifically disturbing yet hilarious at the same time...i still cannot believe what i saw.
ok i was at work. one of my coworkers goes to use the restroom at the end of the hall but after a second he bursts out, first horrified but then laughing histerically. he says theres the biggest shit in the world in there. one by one several of my other coworkers go in for a look. and one by one they come out, faces pale like they've just witnessed someone getting fed through a woodchipper. i dont think much of it at this point i just think 'ok so theres a big turd in there it cant that big of a deal'....they were all shocked and told me i had to see it. said it was like 3 soda cans stacked on top of each other.
so...i went to look. i approached the stall. ill never forget what i saw. i took one glance, my face dropped immediately and i literally ran out of there.
this ...THING was (this is completely without exaggeration) simply inhuman. he base was resting on the hole cause they had tried to flush it several times but it didnt even move. the top was well clear of the water. it was one single peice, about 15-17 inches long and about a FULL FOUR INCHES in DIAMETER. DEAD SERIOUS. i cannot believe that this THING could have come out of a human being at least not without causing serious internal injuries. this had to be the biggest turd in the whole world

Slin1

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2007, 12:36:09 AM »
So why didn't you take a picture?  ::)
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24KT

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2007, 01:45:23 AM »
How much does Bush weigh?


...oops, sorry, you did say human didn't you.  never mind.
w

Nordic Superman

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2007, 02:41:03 AM »
Are you sure it wasn't a muslim dwarf having a wash in the toilette? They're renowned for it.
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pumpster

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2007, 04:11:04 AM »
i saw something today that was both horrifically disturbing yet hilarious at the same time...i still cannot believe what i saw.
ok i was at work. one of my coworkers goes to use the restroom at the end of the hall but after a second he bursts out, first horrified but then laughing histerically. he says theres the biggest shit in the world in there. one by one several of my other coworkers go in for a look. and one by one they come out, faces pale like they've just witnessed someone getting fed through a woodchipper. i dont think much of it at this point i just think 'ok so theres a big turd in there it cant that big of a deal'....they were all shocked and told me i had to see it. said it was like 3 soda cans stacked on top of each other.
so...i went to look. i approached the stall. ill never forget what i saw. i took one glance, my face dropped immediately and i literally ran out of there.
this ...THING was (this is completely without exaggeration) simply inhuman. he base was resting on the hole cause they had tried to flush it several times but it didnt even move. the top was well clear of the water. it was one single peice, about 15-17 inches long and about a FULL FOUR INCHES in DIAMETER. DEAD SERIOUS. i cannot believe that this THING could have come out of a human being at least not without causing serious internal injuries. this had to be the biggest turd in the whole world

You guys have way too much free time.

Butterbean

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2007, 06:41:35 AM »
i saw something today that was both horrifically disturbing yet hilarious at the same time...i still cannot believe what i saw.
ok i was at work. one of my coworkers goes to use the restroom at the end of the hall but after a second he bursts out, first horrified but then laughing histerically. he says theres the biggest shit in the world in there. one by one several of my other coworkers go in for a look. and one by one they come out, faces pale like they've just witnessed someone getting fed through a woodchipper. i dont think much of it at this point i just think 'ok so theres a big turd in there it cant that big of a deal'....they were all shocked and told me i had to see it. said it was like 3 soda cans stacked on top of each other.
so...i went to look. i approached the stall. ill never forget what i saw. i took one glance, my face dropped immediately and i literally ran out of there.
this ...THING was (this is completely without exaggeration) simply inhuman. he base was resting on the hole cause they had tried to flush it several times but it didnt even move. the top was well clear of the water. it was one single peice, about 15-17 inches long and about a FULL FOUR INCHES in DIAMETER. DEAD SERIOUS. i cannot believe that this THING could have come out of a human being at least not without causing serious internal injuries. this had to be the biggest turd in the whole world
AHAHAHAHA!
R

Camel Jockey

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2007, 07:01:40 AM »
Don't you have a camera phone? Could have taken a picture or two.

JediKnight

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2007, 07:07:45 AM »
It was Vince Goodrum Swimming.

onlyme

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2007, 10:04:32 AM »
It varies between 190 and 235

The Master

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2007, 10:38:42 AM »
i saw something today that was both horrifically disturbing yet hilarious at the same time...i still cannot believe what i saw.
ok i was at work. one of my coworkers goes to use the restroom at the end of the hall but after a second he bursts out, first horrified but then laughing histerically. he says theres the biggest shit in the world in there. one by one several of my other coworkers go in for a look. and one by one they come out, faces pale like they've just witnessed someone getting fed through a woodchipper. i dont think much of it at this point i just think 'ok so theres a big turd in there it cant that big of a deal'....they were all shocked and told me i had to see it. said it was like 3 soda cans stacked on top of each other.
so...i went to look. i approached the stall. ill never forget what i saw. i took one glance, my face dropped immediately and i literally ran out of there.
this ...THING was (this is completely without exaggeration) simply inhuman. he base was resting on the hole cause they had tried to flush it several times but it didnt even move. the top was well clear of the water. it was one single peice, about 15-17 inches long and about a FULL FOUR INCHES in DIAMETER. DEAD SERIOUS. i cannot believe that this THING could have come out of a human being at least not without causing serious internal injuries. this had to be the biggest turd in the whole world


;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

JOHN MATRIX

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2007, 11:41:33 AM »
one of my coworkers took a pic but theres no way i was going to stand before It long enough to take a picture. besides i have no desire to re-live the Horror ever again

MindSpin

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #11 on: June 22, 2007, 11:59:43 AM »
 ;D
w

JediKnight

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #12 on: June 22, 2007, 12:07:48 PM »
what's even scarier is the fact that there was no toilet paper in there with it. Whoever let a "Goodrum", left without wiping also. Is it lunch time yet?

anvil

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #13 on: June 22, 2007, 12:32:06 PM »
Sounds like an awesome sight!  Poor janitor, might have to use oven cleaner to get the skid marks out of the bowl.

24KT

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #14 on: June 22, 2007, 12:46:44 PM »
AHAHAHAHA!


 ::)  When I first read this thread, I thought... STella is gonna love this post. I was right.  ;D
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Slin1

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #15 on: June 22, 2007, 01:27:24 PM »
Don't you have a camera phone? Could have taken a picture or two.

Yes my point exactly, this guy is lying!
Money drugs and bitches

Hulkster

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #16 on: June 22, 2007, 04:57:40 PM »
I think you guys should have called an emergency meeting...
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JOHN MATRIX

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #17 on: June 22, 2007, 05:05:03 PM »
I think you guys should have called an emergency meeting...
we were considering putting up a sign out front and charging admission.

it was alot like this, only one single piece-and even bigger:

http://www.flurl.com/item/Biggest_turd_Ive_ever_seen_u_118200/




Brixtonbulldog

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #18 on: June 22, 2007, 06:26:11 PM »
we were considering putting up a sign out front and charging admission.

it was alot like this, only one single piece-and even bigger:

http://www.flurl.com/item/Biggest_turd_Ive_ever_seen_u_118200/





I am in shock.

Butterbean

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #19 on: June 22, 2007, 06:37:06 PM »
::)  When I first read this thread, I thought... STella is gonna love this post. I was right.  ;D
:)


Yes my point exactly, this guy is lying!
I believe him....but in a 3 inch diameter.
4 was a little greedy.



one of my coworkers took a pic but theres no way i was going to stand before It long enough to take a picture. besides i have no desire to re-live the Horror ever again

"stand before 'It'"   lol ;D


R

Parker

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #20 on: June 23, 2007, 02:34:51 AM »
One of my co-workers was telling me of where she used to work, somebody had gone to the bathroom, and left shit all over the the whole stool, the walls, and plumbing. Like she had grenade explode in her ass as she was on the stool. Everybody came to look, and started gagging,but nobody claim it. My co-worker said she saw some fecal matter on one woamn's dress, and whisper that is her, well, that lady slipped out to clean up the mess

Nordic Superman

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #21 on: June 23, 2007, 03:07:34 AM »
One of my co-workers was telling me of where she used to work, somebody had gone to the bathroom, and left shit all over the the whole stool, the walls, and plumbing. Like she had grenade explode in her ass as she was on the stool. Everybody came to look, and started gagging,but nobody claim it. My co-worker said she saw some fecal matter on one woamn's dress, and whisper that is her, well, that lady slipped out to clean up the mess

haha, fuck me, you'd die inside :o

I had a group of friends that were into shitting in bushes, even if they were 2 minutes away from their houses :-X
الاسلام هو شيطانية

pumpster

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #22 on: June 23, 2007, 05:27:35 AM »

I had a group of friends that were into shitting in bushes, even if they were 2 minutes away from their houses :-X
Nice

A friend's girlfriend came out of the bar with us at night with no one else around and thought nothing of walking behind the car and calmly lifting dress, squatting down and getting to business. :-\ Not a hint of embarassment even with 3 or 4 others there. Really bizarre.

pumpster

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #23 on: June 23, 2007, 05:31:51 AM »
My co-worker said she saw some fecal matter on one woamn's dress, and whisper that is her, well, that lady slipped out to clean up the mess

What a piece of shit so to speak to act like a lunatic and avoid blame until forced to deal with it. Should've been completely embarassed after, with everyone told who it was.

Nordic Superman

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Re: what is the record size for a human turd?
« Reply #24 on: June 23, 2007, 06:28:59 AM »
Nice

A friend's girlfriend came out of the bar with us at night with no one else around and thought nothing of walking behind the car and calmly lifting dress, squatting down and getting to business. :-\ Not a hint of embarassment even with 3 or 4 others there. Really bizarre.

I've heard of lot about people shitting themselves after a night on the razz.

A friend told me he shit himself whilst shagging his missus. Another one told me his dad shit himself in the bar while on a night out... fucking classy.
الاسلام هو شيطانية