If you had kids would you be ok with your bf / hubby getting a sportbike?

[SamoanIrishman]

I ride a Suzuki Hayabusa and have a Ducati on order for the track. My wife LOVES riding and in fact was the one who bought me my Hayabusa.

Well lately I've attended 2 funerals and have watched several people die in the 12yrs I've been riding. So here is the thing...

I'm a father of 4 (2 steps, 2 bios), about to hit 30 and have had dreams lately of dying on my bike and leaving my wife and kids to fend for themselves. I do have a (additional) life insurance policy that my wife doesn't know about so financially they'll be fine. I however don't want to -

1. Be without her even in the afterlife.
2. Not watch my kids hit milestones - Prom, College, Marriage ect..
3. Not be able to play with grandbabies.

I want to sell it but she says I'm just over reacting cause I just attended a funeral of a riding buddy 2wks ago that got killed going off a bridge here in Portland...he also had a bunch of kids and a young wife ( http://www.danielnewell.com/ )..and that I should maybe just take a break for a while.

I love the sport...but love family life better. I have never felt in danger but lately, several have gone down because of things out of their control like -being rear ended at a light, car running a red light, dead animal in the road around the corner ect...just feel like I've gotten lucky way too many times and my number has to be getting close. I've gone through 6 bikes so far...3 of them I've wrecked and walked away with fairly minor injuries. (rash, dislocated shoulder ect..)

What do you all think? Maybe I'm not the badass adrenaline junkie I once was? Am I getting old?(hitting the big 30 this Dec...lol)

[Al-Gebra]

I've been riding for almost two decades now, and I've had a couple incidents . . . had premonitions before both of them, so I wouldn't take the dreams lightly (and I'm a pretty rational person).

[Butterbean]

A friend of ours just had a guy in his riding group crash w/his wife on the back of his bike.  The wife survived but the guy died a few days later.

I have a friend who is against her husband ever getting a bike and she has also told him if he ever helped his sons get bikes in anyway she would never speak to him again.  I actually believe her.

[Al-Gebra]

BTW, did it take some getting used to her two kids, or was it totally cool from the start?

[SamoanIrishman]

BTW, did it take some getting used to her two kids, or was it totally cool from the start?

Honestly it took some getting used to. I went from single to step father you know? I come from a big, close family so I've changed diapers and managed kids since I was 12 so not the hardest part. The hardest part is dealing with the politics of "The Ex". Especially when he doesn't hold up to his end (visitation in particular) and I have to watch my step kids cry cause their dad cancelled.

Being their dad and having him in our lives for a while means I can't go over there and rip his fucking package off officially turning him into the bitch he is. Everything else seems to be more important.

Anyways I digress...I'm a total push over (especially with the girls...and they know it) that doesn't believe in spanking so I never had issues as far as discipline management..which some "step" types like myself have to be weary of.

You'd be suprise what you'd do,accept and are willing to learn when you're madly in love.

[Al-Gebra]

Honestly it took some getting used to. I went from single to step father you know? I come from a big, close family so I've changed diapers and managed kids since I was 12 so not the hardest part. The hardest part is dealing with the politics of "The Ex". Especially when he doesn't hold up to his end (visitation in particular) and I have to watch my step kids cry cause their dad cancelled.

Being their dad and having him in our lives for a while means I can't go over there and rip his fucking package off officially turning him into the bitch he is. Everything else seems to be more important.

Anyways I digress...I'm a total push over (especially with the girls...and they know it) that doesn't believe in spanking so I never had issues as far as discipline management..which some "step" types like myself have to be weary of.

You'd be suprise what you'd do,accept and are willing to learn when you're madly in love.

that sucks about the ex . . . where did you guys meet? work, school, neighborhood?

[SamoanIrishman]

that sucks about the ex . . . where did you guys meet? work, school, neighborhood?

Funny enough I was a bouncer at a club..she was there by chance (club they were supposed to be at had a fire that night and shut down) on her b-day with friends. My station at the time allowed me to keep visual on the front door and we (bouncers) had a thing of announcing on our private radio the word "pickle" (so management didn't catch it)everytime a real fine girl walked in. Well when she walked in I stated..." heads up boys, my future wife just walked in the door.."...lol, funny enough...I just knew.

She had a rule of NEVER dating the "bouncer" at clubs but after I sent her a drink or two that night followed by a rose (cliche' I know), she came over and intro'd herself. Well, she came back for 3 consecutive weekend eyeing me and catching me eyeing her. ( I was too chicken shit to approach her.) I'm secure enough in myself to know when a girl is "out of my league"...so I wasn't planning on saying anything.

So she approached me and asked " How is it that you buy me drinks, a flower and come off as a perfect gentleman and not ask me out?"....at which point I said with suave..."uh...would you like to have coffee with me sometime?"..to which she replied "I don't like coffee, but I'd..." at which point in my nervousness cut her off and said..."well how about a soda...water...or hell, let me buy you a yoohoo or something..." at which point she laughed..(as I was mentally kicking myself in the ass for that sentence) and gave me her number.

History from there bro...started living together 3 months later...got married 4yrs later and still crazy in love.


Sorry to ramble...you get me talking about her and I can't seem to shut the hell up. She may not be a 10 to some...but she only has to be  a 10 to me!

[Al-Gebra]

That's a great story. 

What have you decided to do about the bike? Dreams could just be b/c of stuff happening around you, but if you've wrecked three bikes a little more caution might be called for.  I'm good friends w an ER doc, and he's always telling me stories (recently had a patient who was wearing a suit and still had his nuts ripped off) . . . but he still rides, and I do too, when I get the time.  Bottom line is it's a high risk activity, and as I've gotten older I try to balance the risks-rewards. 

[SamoanIrishman]

Yeah...I don't know. While I don't do some of the crazy shit I used to, I still worry. I'm not worried about my actions though...it's other people I worry about.

For example I seen girl driving with her knee on I-5 this morning because she had one hand holding the cell, and the other applying eye make up AND had a coffee between her legs. That stuff just makes me nervous.

Maybe I will keep em...don't know. It's in my blood and everytime I sell one...I buy another with in a riding season or two...maybe I'm just rattled.

[Al-Gebra]

do you use the Hayabusa to commute?

If you're planning on using the Ducati as a track bike, then I say get it.

[SamoanIrishman]

do you use the Hayabusa to commute?

If you're planning on using the Ducati as a track bike, then I say get it.

Yeah it's a commuter and a 2-up riding bike...she REALY likes to ride.

Check my thread out here about my bikes...

http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=152741.25

[trab]

Ive had lots. GXSR-1100 900Ninja GS1000 KZ1000 dirtbikes. Im 47, if my back werent shot, I'd be ridin my wife AND daughter at the same time when we's in Asia on somthing like a Honda 600 on/off. I'd be very particular where/ when I rode esp in asia but I love bikes and do miss them.

YOUr call my friend. To ME, THe most dangerous thing about Crotch rockets and the street is ridng w/ other nutcase guys. Screw that follow the leader to the ER shit.

I was a very good rider, I could 2 wheel powerslide a GSXR-11 in 3rd thru corners, . No where near as many close calls as you.
That IS Something to consider.

[trab]

Bikes have no ability for intelligence, but unfortunately neither do many who are drawn to ride them.
If your a experienced rider who learned in the dirt, and pick your places you ride you cut down risk
astronomically. But it only takes one. To live but never have really lived is not a life to me.
If I could still ride I would.

[SamoanIrishman]

Bikes have no ability for intelligence, but unfortunately neither do many who are drawn to ride them.
If your a experienced rider who learned in the dirt, and pick your places you ride you cut down risk
astronomically. But it only takes one. To live but never have really lived is not a life to me.
If I could still ride I would.

So true...my regular riding buddies all average 10+ years riding experience so we don't really get into stupid shit...except for on the track. Sportbikes have always had the reputation like AAS or Guns in that it's a death trap waiting to happen...when in fact a death is usually the result of someones carelessness.

My favorite quote about guns (I conceal carry) came from my dad. He said to this religious neighbor that had hardcore gun control issues and made comment about my dads bumper sticker (Guns don't kill people, people kill people) on his car was "Dave I respect your opinion but, your logic is wrong. So you're telling me that when you make a spelling error while writing you blame the pencil?"

Neighbor replied "Uh...that's not the same thing"...and walked off eventually. Funny watching my dad "own" the neighbors.

[trab]

So true...my regular riding buddies all average 10+ years riding experience so we don't really get into stupid shit...except for on the track. Sportbikes have always had the reputation like AAS or Guns in that it's a death trap waiting to happen...when in fact a death is usually the result of someones carelessness.

My favorite quote about guns (I conceal carry) came from my dad. He said to this religious neighbor that had hardcore gun control issues and made comment about my dads bumper sticker (Guns don't kill people, people kill people) on his car was "Dave I respect your opinion but, your logic is wrong. So you're telling me that when you make a spelling error while writing you blame the pencil?"

Neighbor replied "Uh...that's not the same thing"...and walked off eventually. Funny watching my dad "own" the neighbors.

Guns Kill People Like Forks and Spoons made Rosie O'Donel FAT!!   

Keep your bikes and teach your kids how to enjoy them safely. Im a firm believer that one must learn to ride in the dirt to last on the pavement.
When my daughter get dating age I'll be able to tell at a glance if I'll let her ride on a dudes bike.
Im more comfortable if I see worn sidewalls than a wear strip down the center of the tread. Cant corner? Cant ride!
Loose chain? Never ride'n w/ him. He'll show me he knows how to use the FRONT breaks before she ever gets on.
Helmets- he rides w/ out ever, She dont ride w/ him. Leather boots and jackets and golves.

[ToxicAvenger]

life insurance

[CQ]

I would be fine with it myself, my husband actually used to do motorcross [he basically sucked but that is beside the point ]

I would hope and request that the person was careful though. It is a very fine line between being safety conscious/sensible and living life to the fullest. Also, realistically you can croak through any number of things, it's not like by not riding a bike you are guaranteed to live X amount of years.

[Edit: My condolences to you on the loss of your friend]

[Chamorrita]

SI, you sound like you live in Cali.  After driving on those roads for a few years now, I have realized how dangerous the other drivers are.  They follow behind too closely, change lanes without thought.  It's very scary.  You have to worry more about them than yourself.  It's a great risk driving a motorcycle in general.  One of our family friends is pretty much a vegetable mentally because of a bike accident with her husband.  He is fine but she's not so great and has not been able to fully take part in raising their only daughter.  It sucks for them both, but most especially for their daughter.  It's a tough decision and it seems like you've thought about it greatly.  Good luck.

[SamoanIrishman]

SI, you sound like you live in Cali.  After driving on those roads for a few years now, I have realized how dangerous the other drivers are.  They follow behind too closely, change lanes without thought.  It's very scary.  You have to worry more about them than yourself.  It's a great risk driving a motorcycle in general.  One of our family friends is pretty much a vegetable mentally because of a bike accident with her husband.  He is fine but she's not so great and has not been able to fully take part in raising their only daughter.  It sucks for them both, but most especially for their daughter.  It's a tough decision and it seems like you've thought about it greatly.  Good luck.

I live in Portland, OR..

I have thought about it and will continue to do so. Just little questions in my head like...At what point does a hobby become selfish? You know...questions that more than likely no one can answer but me.

[Al-Gebra]

I live in Portland, OR..

I have thought about it and will continue to do so. Just little questions in my head like...At what point does a hobby become selfish? You know...questions that more than likely no one can answer but me.

If I had kids, I would not use a motorcycle to commute.  Every time you get on that bike to commute, the odds that you're going to run into a careless driver increase.

[Always Sore]

I live in Portland, OR..

I have thought about it and will continue to do so. Just little questions in my head like...At what point does a hobby become selfish? You know...questions that more than likely no one can answer but me.

IMHO it becomes selfish when you put it ahead of the family. I had always loved bikes but I live in a area that is not the safest and has horrible traffic, and a few years ago started the process of getting my license and it was after the classes and before I bought a bike with the full support of my great wife that I decided it was not worth it for me. I see to many people almost kill me in a car and I have road rage issues and though it would have been great the bottom line is I know it would have been a problem. My brother chose differently and in his first two months was almost killed twice and he has been riding off and on since we were young men and was once hit and tore his leg and ankle to shit.You have to ask yourself simply is everything you have worth the risk. No different then owning a gun or taking a dangerous job, it's not if sometimes it's when.

Good luck either way with what you choose.

[trab]

I live in Portland, OR..

I have thought about it and will continue to do so. Just little questions in my head like...At what point does a hobby become selfish? You know...questions that more than likely no one can answer but me.

Selfish? I quit out of bounds skiing after my daughter was born. Ive no desire to deprive her of a father for my adrenaline rush.
Mts eat people you know .
Bikes? I agree w/ the anti-Commute vote too. Pleasure at your own choosing only IMO.
Even w/ a GSXR11 in traffic lots of times a guy is just plain screwed. No escape.
The Track is prolly safer.

[Samourai Pizzacat]

Ah, mortality salience, gotta love it...

it's an ego issue in the end, can you live without the rush of bikes? Are you willing to sacrifice that part of your life or can you substitute it with something else? The risk of someone else screwing up is just as big on a bike or in a car, in the car you will have better chances to survive. With that in mind, bikers are at greater risk than car drivers, so a commuting bike wouldn't be wise.

I think it's a very tough call, I generally feel that living life without being overly stupid will get you farthest and that people that are anal about safety and protection tend to die in silly and unpredictable ways....karma I guess.

offtopic: the gun-pencil analogy is off; guns have been made with the sole intent of killing, pencils do not. With a gun, death is a trigger pull away, hard to do with a pencil. Statistics show that less guns about means fewer murders, the problem in the US is however taking away the right of gun-ownership and the deeply rooted fallacy that owning a gun will increase your safety. It's very hard to reverse a situation like this.

[trab]

Ah, mortality salience, gotta love it...

it's an ego issue in the end, can you live without the rush of bikes? Are you willing to sacrifice that part of your life or can you substitute it with something else? The risk of someone else screwing up is just as big on a bike or in a car, in the car you will have better chances to survive. With that in mind, bikers are at greater risk than car drivers, so a commuting bike wouldn't be wise.

I think it's a very tough call, I generally feel that living life without being overly stupid will get you farthest and that people that are anal about safety and protection tend to die in silly and unpredictable ways....karma I guess.

offtopic: the gun-pencil analogy is off; guns have been made with the sole intent of killing, pencils do not. With a gun, death is a trigger pull away, hard to do with a pencil. Statistics show that less guns about means fewer murders, the problem in the US is however taking away the right of gun-ownership and the deeply rooted fallacy that owning a gun will increase your safety. It's very hard to reverse a situation like this.

Guns are not made w/ the intent of killing, and statistics show what the person who paid for the research wanted them to show.
 Come visit the USA you'll love my shooting range .

[Samourai Pizzacat]

Trab...for real....guns have been EXPLICITLY designed to kill at range. They have a distinctly militairy history and application.
Guns in domestic settings are bad news.