When is it time to get married?

[drkaje]

I'm curious what the opinions will be.

[Playboy]

I'm curious what the opinions will be.

When your of the right age of responsibility (no more hog wild partying, clubbing, going on single vacations to party places where cheating can take place, etc)
When you are finacially stable
When you are job secure
When you know for a fact that you truly love that person and you know that you want to wake up next to that person for the rest of your life.

If you have any doughts....DON'T do it. 

[Original Sin]

Good Qeustion...

I haven't reached that point yet so I guess I don't really know.  I have been propsoed to twice and have declined both times for numerous reasons, all of which I am not sure have any real weight to them.

I would like to hear Laura's and Mike's opinions on this one.  Those two are so very much in love, live together and "have their ducks in a row" makes me curious as why not.  I am not saying they should or shouldn't get married obviously that is their choice, but I am allowed to be curious.

[24KT]

When the rabbit dies, ...and her daddy's shotgun is pointed at your gonads... it's time to say 'I do'.   

[Playboy]

When the rabbit dies, ...and her daddy's shotgun is pointed at your gonads... it's time to say 'I do'.   

       
I almost spat my coffee reading that one. Speaking of which, Jag...here comes my Tim Horton's double double right now....oh how I love it when people bring me coffees 

[24KT]

       
I almost spat my coffee reading that one. Speaking of which, Jag...here comes my Tim Horton's double double right now....oh how I love it when people bring me coffees 

I'll be here til Friday... I recommend the pasta prima vera... and don't forget to tip your waitor or waitress. 

[SamoanIrishman]

When your of the right age of responsibility (no more hog wild partying, clubbing, going on single vacations to party places where cheating can take place, etc)
When you are finacially stable
When you are job secure
When you know for a fact that you truly love that person and you know that you want to wake up next to that person for the rest of your life.

If you have any doughts....DON'T do it. 

...bastard stole my answer

[mahg]

I think maybe when you want to have kids.

[Always Sore]

When your of the right age of responsibility (no more hog wild partying, clubbing, going on single vacations to party places where cheating can take place, etc)
When you are finacially stable
When you are job secure
When you know for a fact that you truly love that person and you know that you want to wake up next to that person for the rest of your life.

If you have any doughts....DON'T do it. 

Great answer. I would add to that if you would hang out with the person regardless if you were having sex or not and still want to be with them. Never underestimate someone that can always make you laugh or have good conversations with.

[Butterbean]

When your of the right age of responsibility (no more hog wild partying, clubbing, going on single vacations to party places where cheating can take place, etc)
When you are finacially stable
When you are job secure
When you know for a fact that you truly love that person and you know that you want to wake up next to that person for the rest of your life.

If you have any doughts....DON'T do it. 

Great answer. I would add to that if you would hang out with the person regardless if you were having sex or not and still want to be with them. Never underestimate someone that can always make you laugh or have good conversations with.

These are good. 

And someone you trust.

[Playboy]

These are good. 

And someone you trust.

Trust....forgot about that one. Very important. See what happens when you try to work and play at the same time, Stella 

[Hustle Man]

Not to take away from DrKaje's original question but my question is why do we have to get married (the signing of papers and such) in the first place?

I have known many couples that were in long term relationships (living together for 15+ years) and they had great relationships until they got married and everyone of them are divorced today. They all said marriage seemed to put stresses on the relationship that were not there prior to the "legal union".

My sig other and I are currently discussing whether to marry or not to marry since we are both individually secure financially! We don't need vows to be commited and/or true to one another so the question for us is why get married not when?

[Butterbean]

They all said marriage seemed to put stresses on the relationship that were not there prior to the "legal union".

Hustle Man, do you think that just being legally married really put "stresses" on the marriage that were not there prior?  What kind of stresses?

Do you think it's possible that before they married they had begun to struggle in their relationship and thought marrying would help in some way and then were surprised/disappointed when it didn't? 

My sig other and I are currently discussing whether to marry or not to marry since we are both individually secure financially! We don't need vows to be commited and/or true to one another so the question for us is why get married not when?

We were also both individually fine financially.  I believe our main reason for marrying was that we believed/believe it was what God wanted us to do.

[powerpack]

You just know it is right.
There are no rules for love and that "feeling"
I had quite a few girlfriends before my wife, I even moved in with two of them.
But when ever I thought of marriage I felt a since of "DREAD"!!!!
With my wife I just knew, we had been dating for 10 days when I popped the question and she said yes 
6 Months later we where married.
We are married 13 years already now with two savages aged 12 and 10 

[Original Sin]

You just know it is right.
There are no rules for love and that "feeling"
I had quite a few girlfriends before my wife, I even moved in with two of them.
But when ever I thought of marriage I felt a since of "DREAD"!!!!
With my wife I just knew, we had been dating for 10 days when I popped the question and she said yes 
6 Months later we where married.
We are married 13 years already now with two savages aged 12 and 10 

WOW!  

[24KT]

WOW!  

{giggle} Wild isn't it? A girlfriend of mine went on a date with this guy. He took her to Las Vegas for their date. She had a bit too much champagne, and ended up in bed with him. She had so much guilt about having sex on the first date, that before the weekend was out, ...they were hitched. That was 21 years ago, ...and they are STILL married, ...happily with 5 kids. It still blows my mind.

[Playboy]

I think another one that is often overlooked is compatibility. People say that opposites attract but I beg to differ. The more you have in common, the more things you can do together and the more you can enjoy eachother's company. You'll get along great.

[Hustle Man]

Hustle Man, do you think that just being legally married really put "stresses" on the marriage that were not there prior?  Maybe there were but they seemed very happy and able to work out differences but with mine own eyes I saw the relationship deteriorate What kind of stresses Money for one, It seemed as soon as the money came together thats when the complaints started to flow and then of course the challenges of being and staying attracted to each other, you know how couples can forget what attracted them in the first place a side from the sex of course. ?

Do you think it's possible that before they married they had begun to struggle in their relationship and thought marrying would help in some way and then were surprised/disappointed when it didn't?  For some yes, I would say that happened but for many they just couldn't handle the selfessness thats required when you are in a commited relationship.
We were also both individually fine financially.  I believe our main reason for marrying was that we believed/believe it was what God wanted us to do. I totally agree with you my friend and you know I am a believer but doesn't God recognize our relationship anyway? We committed and entrusted our lives to each other in God's name and presence? Whether we have the paper or not we are making a commitment in God's eyes and I vow to honor her as she vows to honor me!

[danielson]

A quarter to.

[mahg]

[Butterbean]

Hustleman quote:
"I totally agree with you my friend and you know I am a believer but doesn't God recognize our relationship anyway? We committed and entrusted our lives to each other in God's name and presence? Whether we have the paper or not we are making a commitment in God's eyes and I vow to honor her as she vows to honor me!"


You know, that could be an interesting thread on the relig. board! 

[24KT]

I totally agree with you my friend and you know I am a believer but doesn't God recognize our relationship anyway? We committed and entrusted our lives to each other in God's name and presence? Whether we have the paper or not we are making a commitment in God's eyes and I vow to honor her as she vows to honor me!

God may recognize it, ...but without that piece of paper, quite often the state does not,
...and it's the state that both determines and enforces legal rights.

[CQ]

I was married as a teenager, and although I do not regret it and adored my husband immensely, I would not reccomend it as a general course of action. Perhaps a bit older would be wiser in most scenarios.

[danielson]

A quarter to.

A quarter to never that is.

[24KT]

I was married as a teenager, and although I do not regret it and adored my husband immensely, I would not reccomend it as a general course of action. Perhaps a bit older would be wiser in most scenarios.

CQ, are you still married?