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Author Topic: Wife trying to get into shape  (Read 2993 times)
TroubleReady39
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« on: September 26, 2007, 10:46:03 AM »

I've always only had one goal - gain weight.  I eat everything I see, I lift heavy 4 or 5 days a week - and I add muscle and a little fat.  I'm good.

I don't know how to train my wife back into shape.  We have 2 kids and she's moved from 120 to 160 in about 4 years.  She eats like a normal person, doesn't really train, and just stays busy with the kids.  She'd LOVE to get back to 120, or anything close, and reads a lot about it.  But many of the diets are designed to starve.  Or training takes 90 min a day.  Or it's just confusing - there are a milllion ways to reach the same goal it seems.

I don't want to put her on a yoyo thing.  I want to find a healthy lifestyle for her.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  thanks!

Please, no flaming.  thanks!
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The Squadfather
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« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2007, 02:08:09 PM »

got any pictures of her?
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« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2007, 02:35:53 PM »

OK, so she's 160 but she's been 120 before.  That means she can get there again.   Smiley

It may be hard, but she needs to make time for HERSELF in order to accomplish this.  

If she doesn't train at all, she's going to need to do some exercise, even though I am sure the kids keep her pretty busy.  Her body's gotten used to the activity level she's at right now, and it's probably gonna take more to get the weight off.
- Cardio needs to be the primary weight loss tool, although a combination of cardio and resistance training is ideal.  I would recommend 30-40 minutes five times a week if possible.
If she doesn't have time to get to the gym, then she should focus on cardio at home - walking, jogging, etc.  If she cannot get to the gym, I would also recommend some push-ups, sit-ups, lunges, squats, and other exercises that do not require machines.  

If she hasn't been dieting, then it won't take much to see some results.  Starving is not the way to do it!

I would recommend starting by constructing a diet that is relatively SIMPLE.  Keep it basic!!  It makes it easier to follow.  Don't worry so much about counting calories, and focus more on healthy food combinations at least for starters.

---6 or 7 small meals spaced out evenly throughout the day.
---Breakfast is a MUST.  Breakfast jump starts the metabolism and gets the body burning calories early in the day.  It would be a good idea to do some cardio before breakfast if possible.
---Proteins should be LEAN (chicken breast, turkey, egg whites, fish, occasional lean red meat)
---Carbs should be "good" carbs - NO refined sugar and minimize dairy (skim milk only) - stick with things like oatmeal and sweet potatoes or brown rice for complex carbs.  
One or two servings of complex carbs per day (maybe three depending on how much activity she's doing), and then veggies can be eaten freely without any concern about quantity.  Put the complex carbs early in the day, like breakfast and lunch.
---Stick to low cal sauces and salad dressings...avoid things like BBQ sauce or cream based dressings.  Go for things like lemon juice, balsamic vinegar, and spices like Mrs. Dash.
---FATS should be "good" fats, and they are essential in the diet.  Nuts, avocados, and omega egg yolks are all sources of healthy fats.

Here's a sample that you could use to modify based on her eating preferences and other lifestyle issues
She could do a meal replacement or protein shake for one of the meals later in the day if she wants to, but it should be a relatively clean protein, like whey or something without a ton of carbs in it.

1.  Breakfast - 1/2 cup oatmeal and 4 or 5 eggwhites (one omega yolk would be fine too)
2.  apple with 1 TBSP natural Peanut butter (peanuts should be the only ingredient)
3.  Lunch - Chicken breast on salad with LF dressing (I usually use 1 tbsp LF dressing mixed with lemon juice and vinegar); 1/2 avocado can be added to the salad.
4.  Tuna or other lean protein with 4 rice cakes and carrot/celery sticks (a small potatoe or 1 cup brown rice could be substituted for the rice cakes)
5.  Dinner - chicken/fish with veggies (brocolli, asparagus, whatever); another option is an eggwhite omlette with veggies
6.  Veggies as needed; raw almonds (a couple handfuls) or 1 Tbsp peanut butter

There are lots of ways to mix and match, but just try to stick to the basic elements of dieting...no sugar, minimal dairy, eat veggies whenever hungry, eat throughout the day, minimize carbs late in the day.
That's a good way to start, and then you can adjust the diet and training as necessary to get results.

Two other essential elements - PATIENCE and CONSISTENCY.  Nothing happens overnight.

 Smiley
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az
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« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2007, 03:59:49 PM »

I totally agree with what Rip said. The good thing is it sounds like she is ready to do this and that's the most important part. Keep encouraging her but don't harrass or nag, it took 4 years to put on the forty it won't be gone in 4 months. Watch out for snacks in the house (crackers, cookies, chips) tell her to drink plenty of water and lay off soda and fruit juice all together.
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« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2007, 04:02:29 PM »

good advice Rip, no wonder you look so good.
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« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2007, 07:29:53 PM »

Lori continues to impress me.  Smiley
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« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2007, 04:43:17 AM »

Absolutely fantastic Rip! 


As Rip stated, trouble, it is highly achievable (I'm living proof).  She's just gotta stick with it.   Wink
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« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2007, 05:12:51 AM »

Avoid rice cakes. They're very high glycemic.

Only time you should snack on those is after training.

I hate when I see parents giving the kids rice cakes for school snacks.

IMO she needs to realize that the cardio is only used to keep her metabolism up, not done to "burn" fat.

Ie, by doing cardio, your body becomes more fit and will actually have a preference for using fats for energy over carbs.

This is why High Intensity Interval Training, ie Interval Cardio is so effective. It gets the heart working real hard.

And this is also why lifting weights is a good way to lose weight.

Those are the two training tools.

The diet tool is equally important, and is about cutting down the caloric intake, and eating good nutritious things that will keep the satiety and the blood sugar steady.

ripitup made a very good list IMO.

I'd like to add that she can eat pretty much as much veggies as she wants, the calories in veggies are generally consumed by the very processing (they have lots of fibers).
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« Reply #8 on: September 27, 2007, 05:39:07 AM »

Avoid rice cakes. They're very high glycemic.

Only time you should snack on those is after training.

I hate when I see parents giving the kids rice cakes for school snacks.

IMO she needs to realize that the cardio is only used to keep her metabolism up, not done to "burn" fat.

Ie, by doing cardio, your body becomes more fit and will actually have a preference for using fats for energy over carbs.

This is why High Intensity Interval Training, ie Interval Cardio is so effective. It gets the heart working real hard.

And this is also why lifting weights is a good way to lose weight.

Those are the two training tools.

The diet tool is equally important, and is about cutting down the caloric intake, and eating good nutritious things that will keep the satiety and the blood sugar steady.

ripitup made a very good list IMO.

I'd like to add that she can eat pretty much as much veggies as she wants, the calories in veggies are generally consumed by the very processing (they have lots of fibers).


True about the rice cakes...I threw them in there b/c it's a quick and easy snack for someone who is busy with two young children and may not have the time to prepare meals six times a day.  They have those little microwave cups of brown rice that only take a minute to heat up...that, or a small sweet potato or another 1/2 cup of oats, would be better options for carbs. 

Be sure that she completely avoids the breakfast bars, granola bars, protein bars, and yogurts...all of which seem like good options for fast food on the go, but they are loaded with sugars.  Many people make the mistake of starting the day with a Kashi bar or some sort of "breakfast square" thing lol....lots of sugar!
 
1/2 cup of oats = zero sugar.  I use the Old Wessex five grain hot cereal, which you can find in the healthy section.  These can be cooked in the microwave pretty quickly too.  It doesn't taste as bad as it sounds.

 Smiley
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« Reply #9 on: September 27, 2007, 06:02:13 AM »

Rip laid out a nice solid program there, good food choices.

Have to agree big time with what az said too, the best program in the world and knowing what to do means nothing if your heart is not in it for the right reasons.  Somebody has to want to do this for THEMSELVES, thats the only way it can work long term.  If the excusses keep coming and the time can never be found they are not serious about it.   The motivation needs to come from within, not doing it to make the hubby happy but for herself.

I always laugh to myself cause I have had women say to me " I would like to go to the gym with you and workout cause I need someone to give me that extra push and make sure I go"  If they wanna train cool but they need to bring their own energy and motivation.
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« Reply #10 on: January 24, 2008, 06:52:07 AM »

 Roll Eyes not trying to sound stupid here

Me and my friend are debating about the timing of the meals

I can't fit them all in without feeling like I'm eating all the time and she's worried because it's looking like a lot to her

and

how long "before" going to bed at night should eating be stopped

and if it matters

also I still can't get the eggs to separate right I ALWAYS end up with broken yolks  Angry 
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« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2008, 07:07:45 AM »

Roll Eyes not trying to sound stupid here

Me and my friend are debating about the timing of the meals

I can't fit them all in without feeling like I'm eating all the time and she's worried because it's looking like a lot to her

and

how long "before" going to bed at night should eating be stopped

and if it matters

also I still can't get the eggs to separate right I ALWAYS end up with broken yolks  Angry 
When I was following a diet I ate my first meal about 8am and then ate every 2 1/2 to 3 hours after that.  At first it seems like a lot of food but soon you will be anxiously anticipating your next meal about 1 hour before you can eat again.  And then you may lick the plate/bowl to get every last drop of your meal.

I had an option of a protein shake if I really wanted one as an extra last meal and I would have this even up until 8 or 9pm.

As for your yolks/whites, do you like hard-boiled eggs?  If so it's easy to separate them after they've cooked and cooled.  If you don't like hard-boiled, you may want to try the cartons of liquid whites.  I like them cooked in a pan w/a spray of I Can't beleive it's not Butter Spray, a sprinkle of granulated garlic and a sprinkle of smoked paprika. 
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« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2008, 01:51:03 PM »

Roll Eyes not trying to sound stupid here

Me and my friend are debating about the timing of the meals

I can't fit them all in without feeling like I'm eating all the time and she's worried because it's looking like a lot to her

and

how long "before" going to bed at night should eating be stopped

and if it matters

also I still can't get the eggs to separate right I ALWAYS end up with broken yolks  Angry 


There are no stupid questions!   Cheesy

I think you'll find that opinions on this (and just about everything else related to dieting) vary quite a bit. 

Stella's right...it will seem like a lot of food at the beginning, but as you get into it, start losing weight, and ramp up your metabolism, you will be plowing through the meals and dying for your next one as soon as you eat! 
I start my contest prep with six meals, and I always think DAMN this is alot to eat when I start...by the end of my diet, I am up to eight meals (somewhat different foods), and I literally count the minutes in between meals.

I don't usually worry about what time my last meal is, so long as they are spaced out properly and I am not frontloading or backloading my meals (eating too many early or late in the day). 
I do recommend not eating carbs at night, though...your metabolism slows down at night, making it harder to burn off those carbs.  I usually don't have carbs other than veggies in my last 2-3 meals of the day.
A protein shake is a good option, if it's a clean whey protein.  I usually put one in the freezer and chip away at it if I am hungry at night or have the munchies.  Sometimes, I will even eat a spoonful of natural peanut butter.

Separating the eggs takes a bit of practice.  I get impatient and use the liquid whites when I am just eating whites.  But if you use omega eggs, it's not the end of the world if you eat some yolk.  REAL egg whites taste soooo much better than the liquid ones too!
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« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2008, 03:45:39 PM »

good advice Rip.

your a smart cookie.
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« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2008, 04:36:46 PM »

... Or training takes 90 min a day. 

Training can take 90 minutes a day, but doesn't have to.  Get her to start out doing something, be it cardio or lifting, for 15 minutes per day consistently.  After she see some improvements in a few weeks, encourage her to increase her workouts to 20 minutes, 30 minutes, etc.  Best de-modivator in the world is the thought that a workout takes too long and giving in to the excuse of "I don't have time." 

And be sure to remind her that adding some muscle is a great way to burn fat and increase her metabolism.  Don't let her get into the common female cycle of cardio, cardio, cardio without doing some lifting.  (I see it all the time at the gym where I workout.)

Good luck to you and your wife!
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« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2008, 05:08:41 PM »

Hey Trouble! Ok I am new here so I don't really have any advice for you...I am searching myself.  But I swear if I didn't know better I would think you were posing as MY husband asking questions on my behalf.  Wink  From the "wife" perspective let me tell you that the motivation had to come from me.  Granted my husband helps to keep encouraging me but I had to get a point in my life where I wanted to make the change for myself, not anyone else.  Part of my reason for wanting to do it of course is to make my husband happy but first and foremost it's for ME.  Encourage her, give her ideas, but let her do it in her time. Trust me she will come around! 
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« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2008, 05:51:22 AM »

And be sure to remind her that adding some muscle is a great way to burn fat and increase her metabolism.  Don't let her get into the common female cycle of cardio, cardio, cardio without doing some lifting.  (I see it all the time at the gym where I workout.)


This is very true!

http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=158441.0

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« Reply #17 on: January 25, 2008, 08:25:46 AM »

thanks so much all this helps  Cheesy
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