I don't think you would know contest conditioning if it smacked you across the face. There is absolutely no way you will be in shape in 5 weeks. You look 6 monthss out now.
I totally disagree..for someone that looks like he has never seen in the inside of a gym 5 weeks can make a world of difference.
low cal, low carbs, ECA/Clen, cardio 6 times a week, twice a day, plus weight training, ...he would look totally different..NO, I am not saying that he would be impressive but compared to what he looks like now it would be a big difference