I am not you and you are not me. I compete!
I honestly don't know why you are so proud of the fact that you stepped on stage while looking like shit.
It's not an achievement. Everybody is allowed to go up on stage.
It certainly takes some guts to do so (probably even more if you are in a shape like yours) but the real achievement behind competing is to follow your diet for a long period of time and present a more or less ripped physique that you can actually be proud of.
I don't think that every competitor has to look great but you should at least see SOME definition and muscle.
What you did just shows your lack of willpower to everyone.
So before you compete the next time actually follow your diet and have something to be proud of after a long time of sacrifice.
Otherwise you'll be another disgrace for your friends and bodybuilding.