Ever ask why???

[freakfestMD]

Wow, good stuff Freak!

We should make a mini series based on that post...

Can I ask, what kind of cancer? Glad to have ya' here bro...

The cancer was melanoma.  I had 4 lesions diagnosed at the same time.  One was a level 4, and one was a level 3.  The level 4 lesion gave me a 20% chance of having metastatic disease, so I required lymph node samplings.  In one day I had four wide surgical excisions ( two on my back, plus abdomen and shoulder ) and lymph nodes surgically removed from both groins and both armpits.  The nodes were negative for mets.  That was some serious pain there for a few days, I'll tell you that.  Worse, though, was the w a i t i n g .  Three weeks to learn whether or not I would need chemo.  Five-year survival for metatstatic melanoma is only about 40%.

If any of you have moles that you have ever wondered about, I would seriously consider getting them checked out.  Two weeks after my surgeries, I was in the gym and noticed a melanoma on a guy's calf region and urged him to have it removed.  His story became very similar to mine.  You spend your life trying to be healthy, and then your damn skin tries to kill you!  Go figure. 

[busyB]

The cancer was melanoma.  I had 4 lesions diagnosed at the same time.  One was a level 4, and one was a level 3.  The level 4 lesion gave me a 20% chance of having metastatic disease, so I required lymph node samplings.  In one day I had four wide surgical excisions ( two on my back, plus abdomen and shoulder ) and lymph nodes surgically removed from both groins and both armpits.  The nodes were negative for mets.  That was some serious pain there for a few days, I'll tell you that.  Worse, though, was the w a i t i n g .  Three weeks to learn whether or not I would need chemo.  Five-year survival for metatstatic melanoma is only about 40%.

If any of you have moles that you have ever wondered about, I would seriously consider getting them checked out.  Two weeks after my surgeries, I was in the gym and noticed a melanoma on a guy's calf region and urged him to have it removed.  His story became very similar to mine.  You spend your life trying to be healthy, and then your damn skin tries to kill you!  Go figure. 

Wow, tough times man, makes you appriciate life in a whole new manor I bet. My mom had a similar experince. She also has a type of skin cancer where she lost her pigment (?)(really pale) and too much sunlight can make here sick. Which makes visiting Az kinda hard on her unless it is winter.

Now, I am on the lookout for anything resembling a mole. 

I had one removed right by my ear but all came back negative, whew!!

[Emmortal]

The cancer was melanoma.  I had 4 lesions diagnosed at the same time.  One was a level 4, and one was a level 3.  The level 4 lesion gave me a 20% chance of having metastatic disease, so I required lymph node samplings.  In one day I had four wide surgical excisions ( two on my back, plus abdomen and shoulder ) and lymph nodes surgically removed from both groins and both armpits.  The nodes were negative for mets.  That was some serious pain there for a few days, I'll tell you that.  Worse, though, was the w a i t i n g .  Three weeks to learn whether or not I would need chemo.  Five-year survival for metatstatic melanoma is only about 40%.

If any of you have moles that you have ever wondered about, I would seriously consider getting them checked out.  Two weeks after my surgeries, I was in the gym and noticed a melanoma on a guy's calf region and urged him to have it removed.  His story became very similar to mine.  You spend your life trying to be healthy, and then your damn skin tries to kill you!  Go figure. 

Sounds similar to what happened to me last year, although not quite as rough as yours.  I had two level 3's on my back that were removed, my scars are still healing from that heh.

[DirtyDirt]

freak that was great, i guess you are right, us lifters and "juicers" are a certain breed of man.... I am familiar with mid city gym, probably one of the last hardcore gyms in NYC.... be well..

[DIVISION]

Why do we do it??  Why indeed...

I think the answer, as many of you have yet to see, yet to realize, changes over time.

I picked up my first weight at age 13.  Dad bought me the old red, white and blue plastic-coated cement weights, with the skinny little bar and the huge metal bar clamps, and a flat bench.  I was hooked the minute I touched it.  For about 3 years, it probably was about trying to be competitive with other kids my age in the neighborhood. 

During highschool, I lifted for football.  But just after my sophomore year, while training with weights in the off-season, I joined a real gym for the first time.  Hard core, too, for the time (1980).  Saw the photos on the walls...Arnold...Padilla ...Mentzer...Sergio...Ro y Calender...Bertil Fox..I just went nuts for the whole thing.  Met alot of really serious lifters, got completely immersed in it, so much so that I decided not to play football for the last 2 years of highschool, and to just concentrate on lifting.  At age 16, I was clearly set in the "bodybuilding lifestyle."  The diet, frequent meals, the training, the proper rest.  And at this point my focus switched entirely internal.  I was no longer competitive with anyone but myself.  And some interesting things happened.  My grades, especially, went through the roof.  I applied the same principles to school that I applied to lifting.  My weight was probably around 200 by senior year (5' 9")

College was tough.  Premed in a very competitive program.  About 135 students started, and after 4 years only about 20 would get into med school.  But I was still able to lift.  I supplemented the school's gym with my own weights that I brought up there with me.  Every school break I went back home to my original gym, hooked up with my old lifting buddies.  Again, lifting kept me focused, scheduled and regimented.  I was either in the library or the gym.  Didn't drink, didn't do any drugs, although it was all around me, but my friends respected me for it.

Pretty much the same all through med school.  Lifting kept me focused, gave me energy. I ran the med school's gym, and actually created an awesome gym right in the basement of the dormitory.  We called it "the best kept secret on the East Side."  Stacked it out with TK Star, Polaris, everything.  I had an unlimited student activity budget at my disposal.  Funny thing is that everyone told me that once I started med school I'd never be able to find the time to lift again.  It was exactly the opposite, though.  I never lifted so much in my life!  I met fellow getbigger bravo there, and we became training partners.  That's around the time I first decided to try anabolics.   I was age 24.  I was now 245 lbs. I read everything about AAS and endocrinology I could get my hands on.  Developed my first truly "scientific" approach to bodybuilding.

Next, Residency.  One year of general surgery, four years of orthopaedic surgery.  Joined Mid City Gym in NYC, and went over the top.  Met IFBB pro's, met a guy who would become my powerlifting mentor, Paul "Zazu" Bruno, and WWF guys, etc.  Still lifted with bravo, and was now beyond balls-to-the-wall.  Only goal at that point was to be a freak.  Not for chicks, not for anyone...just for me.   The feeling of large tight muscles, the feeling of cold rough steel in your hands, the way the fu*king bar bends when your stacking it out at the squat or the flat bench.  Pure, unadulterated euphoria. That's what it was all about.  Did some more cycles, too, at this time.  I was now age 28. I was now 265 lbs.

Thirties were rough, though.  Fellowship (specialty) training.  Marriage.  Two kids.  Wife with severe postpartum depression.  Freaked out anytime I wasn't home.  Long hours at work. Stressful work.  I found a gym close to an office I was at one day a week, so I was still able to train, but it was minimal. Those were cold, dark days brothers.  I saw my weight gradually dwindle down to about 200 lbs.  Still managed to keep a clean diet, and still managed to hang on as best I could.  During that time, I lifted purely to survive.

Then at around age 38, things settled down a bit.  I found a gym that opens at 4:30am, so now I could finally lift before work.  And so I began to slowly reclaim my life.  Reclaim who I was.  Reclaim who I am. Slowly put together a gym in my house, too.  Got back to about four days a week training.  Back on track.  Carving out a little time just for myself.

Then cancer struck. 

Gotta tell ya.  I endured 10 surgeries, eight of them in one day.  Still, I only missed about 1 week of training.  Just enough to not have my incisions tear open.  I think that's when it really struck me as to how important lifting weights had become for me.  In fact, it IS me.  As soon as I was healed up, I started a return to anabolics.  I was age 40.  I weighed about 210 lbs.





So here I am.  43 years old.  Lifting 7 days a week.  230 lbs.  I feel fu*king great.  Diet is spot-on. I have r e t u r n e d.  And I've said this here before.  The one thread, the one common variable, that has allowed me to continually keep it all together at times that most others would crumple and fall, has been my training.

So why do we do it, you ask?

Because we have to.

Now that's a story, Freaker.

Sorry to hear about your "dark" thirties.

Whatever happened with your marriage?

Isn't it amazing what people do for a relationship?

It's stories like yours that make me reluctant to settle down.

Women.


DIV

[freakfestMD]

Now that's a story, Freaker.

Sorry to hear about your "dark" thirties.

Whatever happened with your marriage?

Isn't it amazing what people do for a relationship?

It's stories like yours that make me reluctant to settle down.

Women.


DIV

What can you do?  Marriage is a commitment, and we take the good with the bad.  There was no way of knowing postpartum depression would ever be a factor, unfortunately, until we had our first child. 

My daughter had very severe colic, and those times were just awful.  Non-stop screaming up to 18 hours per day.  We were sleeping 1-2 hours per night for almost a year.  I also failed to recognize it for what it was--why wouldn't she be depressed?  But it was a side of her I'd never seen before, and I seemed to handle it alot better.  It wasn't until we had our second (and last!) that it became clear.  He didn't have colic, slept through the night--the perfect baby.  But my wife was even 10x worse.  At points even floridly psychotic, to the point where I was actually terrified to leave the house for work in the morning or in the middle of the night because I feared she would hurt them or herself. 

But this time I got her right to a good psychiatrist, and we got it under control, and then she just slowly got better and better, but it took time.  I must say, that now things really are just great.  My wife is truly my soul mate, and I couldn't imagine going through life without her.

but, yes, marriage is not easy, and it's no fairytale for sure.  It takes a tremendous amount of work and sacrifice.  Same with being a dad.  It's just not about you anymore.









Except when you descend those stairs back down to the gym...

[trab]

but, yes, marriage is not easy, and it's no fairytale for sure.  It takes a tremendous amount of work and sacrifice.  Same with being a dad.  It's just not about you anymore.









Except when you descend those stairs back down to the gym...

Yupper........ Women get kind of Flakey on us during and after the pregnancy thing is a major understatement.

Being a steroid user actually helps understand their little hormonal rollercoaser....
Hell, thats why juicers score more chicks, Many women dont even LIKE the BBer look.

A load of Drol, Deca and Test is as close to PMS as we'll ever get..

Marriage takes a lot of understanding and compromise. Its a team effort, or should be to work IMO.
Ya still need to respect the others own private pursuits, and make time for them to do taht; but the children come #1 and there is a lot of  firefighting and spur of the moment changes.

Even A simple set up of home equipment for lifting goes a LONG way to staying in the game.
 

[Overload]

Busy B, i had a serious talk with myself and we wound up in a fight...lol

I understand your point and you are right, i guess i should've rephrased, we can still get in "decent" shape, without using gear and taking it to the level of obsession we do. don't get me wrong, i am going to continue doing all of the above, it was just a thought as to why some people are obsessive, some people do it in moderation and some people choose not to do it at all such as the lazy, fat, couch potatoes you speak of. i think i am safe in a assuming there are some dudes on here that do it for their own reasoning, not neccessarily for girls. I"m sure some guys are married and don't plan on cheating and still take it to the next level.

i didn't read every post so i apologize if what i'm about to say has been said already...too busy to read all these replies these days.

not once in my life have i lifted weights or dieted for pussy. mainly because having a good body will only get a girl to "look" at you, you still must have a good head on your shoulders and speak the right "game" to be banging women left and right. i've seen fat dudes who get more ass than a toilet seat and they just know how to speak the game. i think guys who train solely for women are insecure and have no personality, just like a girl who gets implants. it's all for attention because they can't offer anything else...just my opinion. how many times have you and your friends said "look at the tits on that chick over there"? now replace "tits" with "brains"...won't happen ever.

i lift heavy and used AAS because i wanted to push my body as far as humanly possible not only physically, but also mentally(AAS also affect you mentally). the looks and comments from women are just a bonus and a boring one at that. i have found that women who obsess over a man's body are usually not worth a relationship, just a fuck and it's usually not that great. you know you weren't the first guy she went after for muscle right?...lol...sure there are times when a girl hit on me because of looks or sheer size compared to the average joe but that's not my thing, i want an intelligent women who i can have an in depth convo with. not a flake with fake tits and 5 pounds of makeup.

strength training is a method to push yourself and the only person holding you back is YOU. if you fail at a powerlifting or bodybuilding event it is because YOU didn't prepare enough for it, you can't blame a team because there is only you. that is what i like about it, it's all YOU!

it's all about pushing yourself and AAS will help you push yourself even more.

"It's a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength his body is capable of" - Socrates

[England_1]

The cancer was melanoma.  I had 4 lesions diagnosed at the same time.  One was a level 4, and one was a level 3.  The level 4 lesion gave me a 20% chance of having metastatic disease, so I required lymph node samplings.  In one day I had four wide surgical excisions ( two on my back, plus abdomen and shoulder ) and lymph nodes surgically removed from both groins and both armpits.  The nodes were negative for mets.  That was some serious pain there for a few days, I'll tell you that.  Worse, though, was the w a i t i n g .  Three weeks to learn whether or not I would need chemo.  Five-year survival for metatstatic melanoma is only about 40%.

If any of you have moles that you have ever wondered about, I would seriously consider getting them checked out.  Two weeks after my surgeries, I was in the gym and noticed a melanoma on a guy's calf region and urged him to have it removed.  His story became very similar to mine.  You spend your life trying to be healthy, and then your damn skin tries to kill you!  Go figure. 

Freak, sorry to hear about this. Your story is very inspiring.

I was going to inquire about your thoughts as to if the AAS increased the cancer growth rate, but with it being melanoma I don't think the AAS played a role. Melanoma only accounts for about 4% of skin cancer. Were you out in the sun a lot? Did you tan artificially?

[DIVISION]

What can you do?  Marriage is a commitment, and we take the good with the bad.  There was no way of knowing postpartum depression would ever be a factor, unfortunately, until we had our first child. 

My daughter had very severe colic, and those times were just awful.  Non-stop screaming up to 18 hours per day.  We were sleeping 1-2 hours per night for almost a year.  I also failed to recognize it for what it was--why wouldn't she be depressed?  But it was a side of her I'd never seen before, and I seemed to handle it alot better.  It wasn't until we had our second (and last!) that it became clear.  He didn't have colic, slept through the night--the perfect baby.  But my wife was even 10x worse.  At points even floridly psychotic, to the point where I was actually terrified to leave the house for work in the morning or in the middle of the night because I feared she would hurt them or herself. 

But this time I got her right to a good psychiatrist, and we got it under control, and then she just slowly got better and better, but it took time.  I must say, that now things really are just great.  My wife is truly my soul mate, and I couldn't imagine going through life without her.

but, yes, marriage is not easy, and it's no fairytale for sure.  It takes a tremendous amount of work and sacrifice.  Same with being a dad.  It's just not about you anymore.


Except when you descend those stairs back down to the gym...

I'm sure it was all worth it, Freaker.

You being a doctor probably helped ten fold during this ordeal.

Floridly psychotic?  That's rough......

How do you trust someone after an experience like that?

This is your wife, after all.

It must have shaken your confidence to see her fall so far.

i didn't read every post so i apologize if what i'm about to say has been said already...too busy to read all these replies these days.

not once in my life have i lifted weights or dieted for pussy. mainly because having a good body will only get a girl to "look" at you, you still must have a good head on your shoulders and speak the right "game" to be banging women left and right. i've seen fat dudes who get more ass than a toilet seat and they just know how to speak the game. i think guys who train solely for women are insecure and have no personality, just like a girl who gets implants. it's all for attention because they can't offer anything else...just my opinion. how many times have you and your friends said "look at the tits on that chick over there"? now replace "tits" with "brains"...won't happen ever.

i lift heavy and used AAS because i wanted to push my body as far as humanly possible not only physically, but also mentally(AAS also affect you mentally). the looks and comments from women are just a bonus and a boring one at that. i have found that women who obsess over a man's body are usually not worth a relationship, just a fuck and it's usually not that great. you know you weren't the first guy she went after for muscle right?...lol...sure there are times when a girl hit on me because of looks or sheer size compared to the average joe but that's not my thing, i want an intelligent women who i can have an in depth convo with. not a flake with fake tits and 5 pounds of makeup.

strength training is a method to push yourself and the only person holding you back is YOU. if you fail at a powerlifting or bodybuilding event it is because YOU didn't prepare enough for it, you can't blame a team because there is only you. that is what i like about it, it's all YOU!

it's all about pushing yourself and AAS will help you push yourself even more.

^Agreed.

Women who go after muscle have done it before and will do it again.

As bad as it sounds, I've found that I have to prove myself more to an intelligent woman so she doesn't make assumptions about me than with your average gym chick.

In some ways being a lifter can work against you with women, if you go for intelligent ones.



DIV

[freakfestMD]

Freak, sorry to hear about this. Your story is very inspiring.

I was going to inquire about your thoughts as to if the AAS increased the cancer growth rate, but with it being melanoma I don't think the AAS played a role. Melanoma only accounts for about 4% of skin cancer. Were you out in the sun a lot? Did you tan artificially?

Thanks, England.

I wasn't much of a sun worshipper, but I did "lay out" on occasion, and infrequently used tanning beds.  Heck, I was a bodybuilder after all! I am extremely fair-skinned (Northern Italian) with very light blue eyes--the poster child for melanoma, I suppose.

[freakfestMD]

I'm sure it was all worth it, Freaker.

You being a doctor probably helped ten fold during this ordeal.

Floridly psychotic?  That's rough......

How do you trust someone after an experience like that?

This is your wife, after all.

It must have shaken your confidence to see her fall so far.

DIV

I can't say being a doctor was really helpful, actually.  As a surgeon, my hours are very unpredictable (you don't go home until the work is all done).  This made things very hard, on top of being on call, where I could be gone for 36 hours at a time.

Trust and confidence really weren't shaken too much.  I knew she couldn't control it, but yes, it was very, very frightening.  We also didn't have any help.  Both of us were quite far from any of our family.  It was very isolating.

[England_1]

Thanks, England.

I wasn't much of a sun worshipper, but I did "lay out" on occasion, and infrequently used tanning beds.  Heck, I was a bodybuilder after all! I am extremely fair-skinned (Northern Italian) with very light blue eyes--the poster child for melanoma, I suppose.

Do you recommend getting all raised moles removed? I have a few. A while back I had 2 removed but the derm was a real asshole, could tell he wasn't to enthusiastic to do the procedure probably because he wasn't going to make much off it.

[freakfestMD]

Do you recommend getting all raised moles removed? I have a few. A while back I had 2 removed but the derm was a real asshole, could tell he wasn't to enthusiastic to do the procedure probably because he wasn't going to make much off it.

No, I don't recommend getting all moles removed.  My threshold is lower because of my history, but I have at least 100 moles remaining on my body.

In general, moles that you are aware of that have undergone a change in size, shape or color are the greatest indicators of possible malignant transformation.  Also, a family history of melanoma is very important.  Both of my brothers were checked after mine were discovered, and one had three level 1 melanomas ("melanoma in situ") removed.

[Luv2Hurt]

Agree! good post.  Could not agree more.  Funny but Freak started training serious before me but the peaks and valleys have happened at similar ages in my life also.

[DirtyDirt]

in response to the comment made about women or people in general thinking you have less brains because you are a "muscle head", that goes the same for certain accents, i was born and raised in Brooklyn, no matter how hard i try to downplay my accent it is still very noticable, in turn people assume I have a lower IQ because of the way I speak.

I guess we all have our stereotypes right....

asians can't drive
polish are dumb
italians are in the mafia
Irish love to drink
juice heads can't get a boner ...I love when a chick tells me that....how uneducated they are...lol

etc etc etc..........

[trab]

in response to the comment made about women or people in general thinking you have less brains because you are a "muscle head", that goes the same for certain accents, i was born and raised in Brooklyn, no matter how hard i try to downplay my accent it is still very noticable, in turn people assume I have a lower IQ because of the way I speak.

I guess we all have our stereotypes right....

asians can't drive
polish are dumb
italians are in the mafia
Irish love to drink
juice heads can't get a boner ...I love when a chick tells me that....how uneducated they are...lol

etc etc etc..........

Dude, My wife is Asian AND YOU BETTER PRAY SHE NEVER GETS A D.L.!!!

OH, AND MY ITALIANO FREINDS.........

[BringItOn33]

Yo dirty why are you so racist for? Damn that last post of yours should be taking down..

[trab]

Yo dirty why are you so racist for? Damn that last post of yours should be taking down..

The irony didnt strike you? He was being comical.... If that insults you I feel bad for you.

[Emmortal]

Yo dirty why are you so racist for? Damn that last post of yours should be taking down..

Yea, exactly, he was just being sarcastic.

And yes, Asian women ARE the worst drivers ever.  My ex gf from Burma almost killed me 5 times =)

[trab]

Yea, exactly, he was just being sarcastic.

And yes, Asian women ARE the worst drivers ever.  My ex gf from Burma almost killed me 5 times =)

Hey, Burma is quite the place man.... Thailachek and Ma Sai are a trip to be sure...

They drive like SHIT and they know it... I get all the stories from her friends too,
 of like PPL chasing them in traffic wanting to kill them... 

Hey, some of the village girls from Cambodia and Lao cant even walk safely on a sidewalk...
Like they need a car?
Go drive in Bangkok sumtime on a motorbike for a thrill.

[busyB]

Yea, exactly, he was just being sarcastic.

RIGHT! I am a WOP and in the mafia and did not take offense.

So who has a problem with that?    Fah-ghet about it!!
 

[BringItOn33]

I am not in the mob and i know 3 chinky eye girls who drive great .I also know 2 brothers who are cool .I guess..And i know  7 polish girls that are smart ..They all work in nice massage places and ALL give great hand-jobs. I busted nuts with all of them so i know there smart at what they do.

[ngm21084]

well this thread took a turn off topic pretty quick...you guys suck...i wanted to read some more inspiring shit from people like freak

[DirtyDirt]

Well that's GB for you, i was just making a point but yes this board did take a turn for the worse. I am more interested with the dudes or chics that aggravate the hell out of you in the gym for doing stupid crap, should this be it's own subject is the question???


Bringiton............... YOU ARE A MORON!!!! Let me catch you in the street, you better stop IMing me, you think i don't remember who you are, you are the sick twisted bastard that wrote the thread about watching your sister have sex and sniffing her panties........I wish i would've saved that post so people could see the sick people this board attracts.........who in the world would want to wathc their sister having sex and now i remember you saying how your girls panties had white stuff all over them that you would lick. The dudes on this boards swore it was man juice you were licking because your girl was banging someone else................you big FREAK!!!