Author Topic: Tell us about some of the characters at your gym! (Read 11725 times)

dr.chimps · « **Reply #75 on:** February 10, 2008, 02:57:29 PM »

Hmmm. I've got nothing as funny as MOS' guy, but when I first started training in uni there was a guy who creeped out everybody. Dude looked like a 40 year old Freddy Mercury but maybe 120 lbs, really stringy and maybe 5'6". Everybody called him 'the Turk.' He used to come in to the weight room and just stretch and watch everybody. Most people did their best to politely ignnore him. His 'finishing' move was to do a handstand, 'cept he had those flimsy nylon running shorts with the side seam that went right up to the waist, so his junk basically was on display. That was harder to politely ignore. Then one day he wasn't around anymore, and word came down that he was doing his finisher and two football players actually picked him up and threw him out of the weight room *splat* into the facing wall, like a drunk getting tossed from a bar in an old movie. Problem solved.

Moosejay · « **Reply #76 on:** February 10, 2008, 05:04:54 PM »

We have an orthodox jewish fellow who eats greasy chicken with the skin on it between each set. His claim to fame is that he holds the world record for riding the Flume roller coaster at Great Adventure amusement park 150+ times in one day, and he will go out of his way to tell you this.

So, he wants everyone to call him "Flume". I don't think anyone knows his real name.

As crazy as he is and looks, he can bench close to 350...maybe this is "crazy man" strength.

He is also a lawyer.

jdooly · « **Reply #77 on:** February 10, 2008, 05:10:19 PM »

I already started a thread about gloves. I will add sleeveless shirts too. Mainly the 90 percent of the people that don't have hard vascular muslce to display, myself included. Nonetheless, It is a very "popular ensemble," but gay.

Bluto · « **Reply #78 on:** February 11, 2008, 05:28:13 AM »

Quote from: Moosejay on February 10, 2008, 05:04:54 PM

We have an orthodox jewish fellow who eats greasy chicken with the skin on it between each set. His claim to fame is that he holds the world record for riding the Flume roller coaster at Great Adventure amusement park 150+ times in one day, and he will go out of his way to tell you this.

So, he wants everyone to call him "Flume". I don't think anyone knows his real name.

As crazy as he is and looks, he can bench close to 350...maybe this is "crazy man" strength.

He is also a lawyer.

wow 150 times in one day, thats quite an accomplishment

Moosejay · « **Reply #79 on:** February 11, 2008, 05:59:32 AM »

Quote from: Bluto on February 11, 2008, 05:28:13 AM

wow 150 times in one day, thats quite an accomplishment

Actually, he says he has done this at six different GA locations...

freespirit · « **Reply #80 on:** February 11, 2008, 11:45:32 AM »

There are a few loudmouthed guys in the gym from time to time, doing their very best to be noticed by talking very loud and walk around with ils. It's very pathetic.

Brandon 805 · « **Reply #81 on:** February 11, 2008, 12:34:14 PM »

we have a guy at out gym that comes strolling just about everyday wearing a different color beater strutin' his stuff like he has 20" arms, he has a decent size but it just looks like fat is just hanging off his arms. He is fairly quiet but if you are doing the same lift as him he will watch you to see how much weight you are pushing and put on 10lbs more the you. Then when he is done with his second rep he will look over at you like you should be impressed. and the worst part is when you walk by him he will just stare at you like he want to eat you or somthing. That is why he earned his name "#1 Fan"

dogpound · « **Reply #82 on:** February 11, 2008, 12:39:06 PM »

There is a guy at my gym who likes to help the ladies out.

CalvinH · « **Reply #83 on:** February 11, 2008, 01:04:13 PM »

At my gym we got this old dude that walks real fast with little stutter steps.
its like watching a Will Harris posing routine without the hand movements.

EL Mariachi · « **Reply #84 on:** February 11, 2008, 01:39:20 PM »

Quote from: TrueGrit on February 06, 2008, 04:58:26 PM

Guy in my last gym that we used to call 'roid zoid' as he was a walking tribute to just about every textbook symptom of steroid abuse. He had really long hair with a totally bald crown. Used to always wear this same cut-off shirt that looked like something out of 'Fame' displaying his putrid stomach. It had some faded writing that said 'Muscle Fibrez'. It had slits for his traps that weren't needed. He had acne all down his back. he would shout and scream and keep looking in the mirror and then back at random people in the gym and would say stuff like 'no pain, no gain'. He had double whopper gyno, you could honestly expect to suck on them titties and get milk. He didn't use very heavy weights (which is fine) but the screaming and groaning when using such pitiful weights was hilarious.

He did a lot of donkey calf raises with a weird looking pedo type untrained looking guy on his back who only seemed to appear for the donkey calf raises.

He had injection sites and abscesses all over his upper arms.

He would scream random things like 'light weight baby' 'yea buddy' ' this ones for you Dorian ' (as he benched about 200 lbs)

He once wore shades in mid-winter.

He is a real person and I have exaggerated nothing.

this one s for you dorian LMAO

gmflex · « **Reply #85 on:** February 11, 2008, 01:40:21 PM »

There ia a guy at my gym that only works upper body

Never works out his legs $:-\$
He looks pathetic

MoralMan · « **Reply #86 on:** February 11, 2008, 02:23:58 PM »

Erm there's hundreds of them at every gym!

Bluto · « **Reply #87 on:** February 20, 2008, 05:58:23 AM »

Ryu717 · « **Reply #88 on:** February 20, 2008, 06:08:52 AM »

A guy I call Aqua Man ... wears an under armour head band, sport goggles , elbow support cuffs , wrist bands , knee support cuffs, bike shorts LMAO , then to top it off an under armour skintight sleveless shirt. WTF looks like he should be on a National Geographic underwater sea adventure. Of course he does beastly reps of 3 with 70pbs dbs flat benches, swiss ball routines. I am sorry I am laughing too hard to explain it all.

Rearden Metal · « **Reply #89 on:** February 20, 2008, 06:27:00 AM »

Quote from: The Squadfather on February 06, 2008, 03:57:27 PM

the 29 year old 185 pound "fireman" at the gym who wears headphones and walks with ILS and asks "what's going on?" and i say, "not too much, what's up with you" then he says, "just trying to get huge and lean" while he's in between sets on the Flex plate loaded preacher curl with a 10 pound plate on each side.

We had that exact guy when I was in NY. One day, no shit, he came in with ash smudged on his face and arms, sooo proud that he had been in a fire that he couldn't wash it off before he went to the gym!

Here in Co, we've got a Borat clone. He's skinny, hairy, wears short patterned shorts and a mismatched patterned tank top. Tube socks and generic tennis shoes. Fro like hair and mustache. I've also seen him driving around town in a Honda Element, LOL.

The Ugly · « **Reply #90 on:** February 20, 2008, 06:57:24 AM »

Best thread since the miraculous gimp vs. Gump truce.

- Over-the-top happy morning tweeker, one set on every device in the building, no particular order. Repeat.
- Fat, singing-over-the-headphones, slow-mo Recumbant Idols. Always something purple.
- Elderly Prozac-fueled positivity trainer. "Good morning, Sunshine!"s everyone, every day. Fuck you, Gus.
- Sloppy, old school power guy, ties up 12 machines for extra sooper-dooper supersets.
- Karl. Fucking Karl. Your balls are showing, fella.

alejandro_torres · « **Reply #91 on:** February 20, 2008, 08:28:46 AM »

same old as in every gym, and now that its summer in here mostly EVERYONE comes to the gym, so it kinda sucks to go while EVERYONE is in there training....

I have a friend that has a brother who while his mother was giving birth to him, he ggot caught with the umbilical cord, so no oxigen got to him, and has some problems, kinda like down sindrome....

last summer he started training and he goes every day to the gym, he allways does bicep curls, and only bicep curls... every day he would flex his arm and tell me Am i bigger than you?
after a few months of training he actually buit some respectable arms hahaha.... now when he flexes, he tells me.... my arms are bigger than you! go do biceps curls!

it just makes me happy to see what a little dedication can do....

Barracuda · « **Reply #92 on:** February 20, 2008, 08:57:40 AM »

We had a bodybuilder/student in our school gym who looked exactly like TJ Combo from the game Killer instinct - square head, physique and all. He'd pile up his plate with chicken breasts, tuna, etc at the school caf and stalk over to his table while we chanted "ULTRA COMBO!!!!"

rocket · « **Reply #93 on:** February 20, 2008, 09:02:45 AM »

There is a guy at my gym who is acting so strangely I really seriously fear that he is deranged. So much so that I don't have the guts to post up his antics here for fear of being the first to be shot when he pops. On a plus side, his bizarre antics make good cinema for between sets.

The Ugly · « **Reply #94 on:** February 20, 2008, 09:23:07 AM »

Also, the formerly-trained trainer training the trainer-in-training. Fuck you, Gus.

anvil · « **Reply #95 on:** February 20, 2008, 09:25:44 AM »

This thread should be stickied forever

Characters I have known:

The Manatice- Near 400 pound, 5' 7" wooly Mammoth stinkiest human being ever to walk the earth. Cans of Lysol would implode when he entered the door. Got his name because on his gym application where it said Occupation he didn't know how to spell the word "maintenance" and wrote down "manatice." I'm sure the stinky Wooly Manatice still roams the earth to this day.

Johnny Master- The ultimate cartoon character of whom I still swear to start a comic strip about someday. He was an alcoholic, smokaholic, pathological-lying homosexual soul brother who had legs like broomsticks and an upper body nearly identical to Robby Robinson. Died of Aids in prison. Best quote: "You know, I didn't go to college, but you know dat when I wuz in skoo, I made straight A's cuz you know Johnny da bess dey is at whateva he do... damn when is my Michelle gonna pick me up? He betta have my cigarettes. You know I don't even eat, right? I juss smoke an drank. But I'm strong! You know dat!"

Jimmy 'Do- trained light and low intensity, so as to never mess up his hair. Sweat is evil.

Single Tricep Mike- Dude who always flexed his tricep on one arm. Never the other one.

Grampa Tarzan- Crotchety old man who would yell long and loud while bench pressing brutal senior citizen weights. Flirted with every female who felt sorry enough for him to pay attention to him. Probably the inventor of Viagra.

Shitstain- Dude who always farted during deadlifts. No personality, completely forgettable aside from brutal flatulence.

The Ugly · « **Reply #96 on:** February 20, 2008, 09:26:57 AM »

Quote from: anvil on February 20, 2008, 09:25:44 AM

Shitstain- Dude who always farted during deadlifts. No personality, completely forgettable aside from brutal flatulence.

I said I was sorry.

Quickerblade · « **Reply #97 on:** February 20, 2008, 03:01:16 PM »

the guy thats alwatys there but never looks any better, just looks the same, we all have that guy in our gyms

Rearden Metal · « **Reply #98 on:** February 20, 2008, 03:11:52 PM »

Quote from: anvil on February 20, 2008, 09:25:44 AM

This thread should be stickied forever

Characters I have known:

The Manatice- Near 400 pound, 5' 7" wooly Mammoth stinkiest human being ever to walk the earth. Cans of Lysol would implode when he entered the door. Got his name because on his gym application where it said Occupation he didn't know how to spell the word "maintenance" and wrote down "manatice." I'm sure the stinky Wooly Manatice still roams the earth to this day.

Johnny Master- The ultimate cartoon character of whom I still swear to start a comic strip about someday. He was an alcoholic, smokaholic, pathological-lying homosexual soul brother who had legs like broomsticks and an upper body nearly identical to Robby Robinson. Died of Aids in prison. Best quote: "You know, I didn't go to college, but you know dat when I wuz in skoo, I made straight A's cuz you know Johnny da bess dey is at whateva he do... damn when is my Michelle gonna pick me up? He betta have my cigarettes. You know I don't even eat, right? I juss smoke an drank. But I'm strong! You know dat!"

Jimmy 'Do- trained light and low intensity, so as to never mess up his hair. Sweat is evil.

Single Tricep Mike- Dude who always flexed his tricep on one arm. Never the other one.

Grampa Tarzan- Crotchety old man who would yell long and loud while bench pressing brutal senior citizen weights. Flirted with every female who felt sorry enough for him to pay attention to him. Probably the inventor of Viagra.

Shitstain- Dude who always farted during deadlifts. No personality, completely forgettable aside from brutal flatulence.

AHAHAHHAHAHAA these are classics!

Buzz363 · « **Reply #99 on:** February 21, 2008, 05:20:49 PM »

There's a new guy at my gym who wears nothing but Gators Gym wear. Sweapants, tshirts, hoodies all circa 1990. They look new as well so he's either unearthed a box of new old stock or he's a time traveller. I'll have to dig out my " Huge By Choice" sweatshirt and Sony walkman (with am/fm) and make him jealous.

We also have a lot of little gym bunnies who use the recumbent bike at 0.001 resistance as they pedal 50 rpm and talk on their cell phones. Don't they know they're supposed to be bouncing/running on the treadmill???

Makes me miss the spandex and step classes of the 80's.