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Author Topic: Eliot & Silda Spitzer  (Read 24790 times)
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« Reply #125 on: November 25, 2009, 05:23:52 AM »

There's a big difference between behavioral intent and actual behavior, and that is exactly what seperates humans from other animals. By far the biggest difference between humans and other animals is our cognitive abilitie: We can empathise, plan and understand consequences of our actions.  
Yes, a lot of physical processes are pretty much analogous to human processes, not always the same. This is of course mirrored in research, where animal research is just the stepping stone towards studies on humans. This is especially poignant in psychological research, animal studies were mostly the domain of the behaviourists, a largely outdated school of thought on human behaviour.  
 
I agree with the notion that life-long monogamy is an unrealistic notion. However, this does not move us in the direction of polygamy per sé. Relationships and feelings evolve, often at different speeds and directions. People get bored with each other, love wanes. We can opt to end the relationship and become available for a new relationship. Infidelity is the easy way out: I don't care what my primal instincts tells me, I can still control my actions. You can also choose to enter an open relationship, where both or more partners put their cards on the table at the start.

You've obviously never been left alone with a tub of Hagen Daaz, or had chocolate paraded in front of your face  Tongue
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« Reply #126 on: November 25, 2009, 01:21:56 PM »

You've obviously never been left alone with a tub of Hagen Daaz, or had chocolate paraded in front of your face  Tongue

Thank you for making my point, albeit with a less than germane example.  All of human history (not to mention our individual personal histories) is filled with countless examples of people unable to control their actions, acting on instinct, or behaving irrationally.  It is amusing to see people who really think they are immune to this. Roll Eyes
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« Reply #127 on: November 28, 2009, 10:43:32 AM »

You've obviously never been left alone with a tub of Hagen Daaz, or had chocolate paraded in front of your face  Tongue
I have remarkable self restraint, even on alcohol. I do allow myself some frivolities now and then  Grin
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« Reply #128 on: November 28, 2009, 04:26:27 PM »


I think it will end.

Stella, do you still think it will end?
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« Reply #129 on: November 28, 2009, 05:02:37 PM »

There's a big difference between behavioral intent and actual behavior, and that is exactly what seperates humans from other animals. By far the biggest difference between humans and other animals is our cognitive abilitie: We can empathise, plan and understand consequences of our actions.  


dood i'm betting BGM HAD a wife and has kiddies...which makes it ABSOLUTELY inherent that he argue otherwise..

otherwise homosexuality goes from being a "choice" to " an orientiation" the latter of which CANT be helped since its genetic Wink
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« Reply #130 on: November 29, 2009, 09:37:51 AM »

Stella, do you still think it will end?

Yes
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« Reply #131 on: November 29, 2009, 10:04:01 AM »

Yes

Interesting.  What do you think is a reasonable or predictable time frame for a relationship to end over something like this?  Based on what you said previously, I am assuming you would have left already if you were in Silda’s shoes…?  All relationships end eventually, but given that she is still there, within what time horizon do you think it is reasonable to say that she left because of this episode?  If she leaves 5 years after the affair was this the cause?  How about 10 years later?  20?, etc.
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« Reply #132 on: November 29, 2009, 10:17:19 AM »

Interesting.  What do you think is a reasonable or predictable time frame for a relationship to end over something like this?  Based on what you said previously, I am assuming you would have left already if you were in Silda’s shoes…?  All relationships end eventually, but given that she is still there, within what time horizon do you think it is reasonable to say that she left because of this episode?  If she leaves 5 years after the affair was this the cause?  How about 10 years later?  20?, etc.

I think she would leave before or by mid 2011....but like I said they could make it work and maybe I am projecting my own feelings upon her.

Yes, although you can never be sure what you would do in a certain situation until it happens, I do believe I would have left immediately.  If my husband was doing hookers (or whomever) for any amount of time let alone years, then he is not the person I thought he was.  The only thing that might keep me from leaving if I were Silda is if he had some type of spiritual change....like if he went from an unbeliever to a believer.  Even then I'm not sure I could stay because I would be really grossed out by him.

All relationships end eventually...because some people die.  Not all relationships end in break-ups.

by "this episode" do you mean him having sex w/hookers for years?

"If she leaves 5 years later what is the cause?"  The cause would be his character or lack thereof imo (plus she may be grossed out by him).


Hope my post isn't too jumbled...the quote function isn't functioning properly Tongue
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« Reply #133 on: April 07, 2010, 05:59:05 PM »

Eliot Spitzer’s Long, Winding and Slightly Bewildering Road to Redemption
By JAN HOFFMAN

HERE is Eliot Spitzer on MSNBC with the host Ed Schultz, railing against fallen Wall Street titans who regain power (“absolutely insane”). There he is on Fox’s “Good Day New York,” taking swipes at Andrew Cuomo (“he has to answer the hard questions”) and Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (“I don’t like politicians who vacillate”). He’s lunching regularly at power restaurants like Michael’s (telling the waiter, “Silda wants me to have the salad”), holding hands with his wife at charity galas, attending a private salon at Tina Brown’s. Writing his twice-monthly Slate column, “The Best Policy.” Teaching undergraduates at the City College of New York, lecturing at Harvard about ethics, parsing the meaning of love on BigThink.com.

It’s been scarcely two years since Mr. Spitzer, his ashen-faced wife at his side, seemed to have written his political obituary, with his taut-jawed, almost lipless grimace of resignation as governor of New York, following disclosures that he was a client in a prostitution ring. Now he is emphatically back, seemingly everywhere.

For public figures whose falls have been as spectacular as that of Mr. Spitzer’s, there are many time-tested paths to image rehab. Seclusion. Prison. Good works. The seminary.

None of those options, it seems, are for Eliot Spitzer.

“Most people faced with that kind of disgrace would disappear off the face of the earth for a longer period of time,” said Howard Rubenstein, the public relations impresario. “But there is a lot of curiosity about him. And he is a publicity steamroller” — a reference to Mr. Spitzer’s expletive-garnished self-description as a “steamroller.” “In time people will remember his strengths and his intelligence,” Mr. Rubenstein said, “and what he’s showing now: determination.”

During an interview this week in the Fifth Avenue offices of Spitzer Engineering, his father’s real estate business, Mr. Spitzer, 50, relaxed and ruddy from a family ski vacation in Utah, made it clear he was following a different path. “The only thing I can try to do is contribute in a small way and not in a way that is designed to get forgiveness,” he said. “That would be too transactional: ‘I’m doing X, now you will forgive me.’ I don’t think it can or should work that way.”

He made no apology for his pervasiveness as a pundit, first joking: “Public speaking? I speak to myself on the street!” Then he grew earnest. “You can view it as pure selfishness and hedonism,” he said. “But I care about this stuff. Obviously it’s more rewarding to participate when you can do something about it — which is why I loved and sorely miss the jobs I had.” He glanced over at Lisa Linden, a public relations consultant for Spitzer Engineering, whom he asked to be present.

After his resignation, Mr. Spitzer had a self-imposed exile that lasted about 8 1/2 months. On Nov. 16, 2008, 10 days after federal prosecutors declined to press charges, Mr. Spitzer had an opinion article on financial regulation published in The Washington Post. Two weeks later, at the behest of Cliff Sloan, Slate’s former publisher and a friend from Harvard Law School, he started his online column.

“I keep pressing the button on the Slate column,” Mr. Spitzer said, laughing, “so it looks like I’m getting a lot of hits.”

As the first anniversary of his resignation on March 12, 2008, approached, Mr. Spitzer expanded his audience: Fareed Zakaria on CNN, “Today,” the cover of Newsweek.

“Eliot is like the smartest kid in the room with his hand up, but the teacher’s not calling on him,” said his former political advertising aide, Jimmy Siegel. “He believes he has the answers to things, economically, and he would love to be in a position to do something about it.”

By last fall, he was teaching at City College. He said his students told him they didn’t watch mainstream news media, so he agreed to appear on “Real Time With Bill Maher” on HBO.

“I always thought he’d be a good guest as the Sheriff of Wall Street because of the financial meltdown,” said Mr. Maher, referring to Mr. Spitzer’s nickname. “I’d seen him on shows with the de rigueur ‘Let’s beat up on this guy before we get to what matters.’ I wanted to be the first one to have him on a program and not bring up the scandal.”

Indeed Mr. Maher did not; by the time Mr. Spitzer was a guest again in February, his onscreen identifier read, “Eliot Spitzer, columnist, Slate.com.”

Mr. Spitzer said he doesn’t court appearances. “This was a process over time of my accepting invitations from people that seemed would be fun.”

While some muscular forays — like his exchanges with Mr. Zakaria about the absence of Wall Street transparency — may remind viewers of Mr. Spitzer’s finer moments in government, others recall his tendency to be tone deaf...

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/08/fashion/08Spitzer.html?hp


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« Reply #134 on: April 21, 2010, 03:35:53 PM »

"Rough Justice: The Rise and Fall of Eliot Spitzer" by Peter Elkind
The book offers more details of the prostitution scandal that felled Eliot Spitzer’s career as the ‘Sheriff of Wall Street,’ and the personality problems that may have led him there.
By Walter Hamilton, Los Angeles Times

Not long after he burst into the national consciousness with his blistering assault on Wall Street, Eliot Spitzer began facing pressures of his own.

Even supporters were wearying of his constant criticism of federal regulators. Their failure to crack down on financial-industry malfeasance had opened the window for him to emerge as the "Sheriff of Wall Street." But Spitzer's inability to get along with his peers at the Securities and Exchange Commission was starting to cloud his hoped-for ascension to the New York governor's office, where collegiality was viewed as essential. Thus, Spitzer emphatically pledged at the start of a packed news conference to lay off the SEC.

Yet, moments later, he was at it again with a fresh diatribe — this time with an ashen-faced SEC official standing just behind him.

As the Los Angeles Times' Wall Street reporter at the time, I chronicled Spitzer's blitzkrieg against disreputable stock analysts, mutual funds and others. No one at that news conference, of course, could foresee that Spitzer's career would eventually rupture in a prostitution scandal. But to those of us who watched him that day, the message was clear: Even when Eliot Spitzer knew better he just couldn't help himself.

That theme radiates throughout Peter Elkind's "Rough Justice," an absorbing account of Spitzer's improbable journey from New York rich kid to celebrated Wall Street scourge — to infamous Client No. 9 of the Emperor's Club.

An editor at large at Fortune magazine and co-author of a book about the downfall of Enron Corp., Elkind captures the conflicting sides of Spitzer. He was an idealist who was genuinely outraged by the Wall Street pandemic. Yet Spitzer was also plagued by a volcanic temper and an over-caffeinated ego that was unable to keep his worst impulses in check.

In the end, Spitzer comes off as pitiable, painfully aware of the career he threw away.

"That's my life," Spitzer tells Elkind. "Is it pure agony? Yes, absolutely."

Thanks partly to Spitzer's willingness to be interviewed, "Rough Justice" adds fresh details to the prostitution furor that dethroned him. Elkind reveals that Spitzer hired prostitutes more extensively than previously revealed, dropping more than $100,000 on more than 20 assignations over at least two years. Elkind also tells us that — true to character — Spitzer offended some of his hires by rushing through the ritual pleasantries at the beginning of their sessions.

"He was not one of those people who I would have said went out of their way to make me feel lovely and nice, like many did," one woman laments. "It was very impersonal."

The book tantalizingly suggests that the disclosure of Spitzer's activities may have resulted from a conspiracy by his enemies to out him. Federal prosecutors normally don't pursue prostitution cases, Elkind explains.

A wire transfer that Spitzer made to pay for one of his dalliances triggered a suspicious-activity report to federal banking authorities who were on the lookout for terrorist activities. But there are so many such reports, Elkind writes, that it's unlikely prosecutors would have noticed it without being tipped off.

"Why did Spitzer's sexual habits become the target of federal investigative methods befitting an Al Qaeda terrorist?" he asks.

Elkind acknowledges, however, that he wasn't able to gather enough evidence to say for sure, leaving "nothing more than intriguing speculation." Among those who think Spitzer was laid low by his enemies is Spitzer's wife, Silda, who, we're told, views him as a "felled crusader."

Elkind portrays Silda Spitzer as struggling to make sense of her husband's betrayal. Early on, a Spitzer aide quotes her as saying she believed she was at fault for not satisfying her husband sexually. She later concludes that his straying was all about him, not her, Elkind writes. Still, in some ways Silda apparently sees her husband as a victim himself — of his own grueling expectations and his emotionally Spartan upbringing.

His demanding father presided over dinner-table debates with his children. Despite being co-captain of his prep school tennis team, his parents attended only one match.

"In Silda's eyes, he had remained true to his public promise…" Elkind writes. "Yes, he had succumbed to temptation. But that was the result of the impossible expectations he had created, the brutal pressures he had faced in public life — and his inbred inability to find a healthier way to deal with them."

The ultimate irony, of course, is that the type of abuses Spitzer spent his career railing against exploded during the global financial crisis. Instead of playing a lead role in the cleanup, Spitzer was confined to the sidelines, fulminating in TV interviews and a regular Internet column but mostly haunted by four words: what might have been.
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« Reply #135 on: April 24, 2010, 05:58:04 PM »

 Cheesy


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« Reply #136 on: April 06, 2011, 11:42:18 AM »

Butterbean do you still think it will end?
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« Reply #137 on: April 06, 2011, 12:41:58 PM »

Butterbean do you still think it will end?



I think she would leave before or by mid 2011....but like I said they could make it work and maybe I am projecting my own feelings upon her.
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« Reply #138 on: November 02, 2011, 07:22:59 AM »

Bay, I changed my mind....maybe she will never leave:

Still, this line in a Washington Post story about "Rough Justice," Peter Elkind's new book on New York's former governor, does make me want to fix Mrs. Spitzer up on a date: "The wife is supposed to take care of the sex. This is my failing,'' Silda Wall is quoted as saying, in reference to her husband's hooker habit. "I wasn't adequate."(www.politicsdaily.com)

 Undecided

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« Reply #139 on: November 02, 2011, 07:29:56 AM »

Your deadline (mid 2011) has passed.  Silda is not going anywhere.  If she were going to leave she certainly would have done it already. Undecided
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« Reply #140 on: November 02, 2011, 07:32:05 AM »

Your deadline (mid 2011) has passed.  Silda is not going anywhere.  If she were going to leave she certainly would have done it already. Undecided

Did you read her quote?  Reminds me of a friend of mine that was in an abusive relationship.
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« Reply #141 on: November 02, 2011, 07:50:35 AM »

I take your point, but I do think spouses are under an obligation to recognize and meet one another's sexual needs.  It is not reasonable to expect your spouse to go without sex.
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« Reply #142 on: November 02, 2011, 08:21:34 AM »

I take your point, but I do think spouses are under an obligation to recognize and meet one another's sexual needs.  It is not reasonable to expect your spouse to go without sex.

Oh, I agree 100%....  But who knows what was going on behind the scenes other than them.  Maybe she felt inadequate because he wanted to do things she wasn't comfortable with.  Maybe she only gave it up once a day.  Maybe she was frigid.  But he's still gross imo.
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« Reply #143 on: November 02, 2011, 11:00:26 AM »

In the film By Love Possessed (1961) Lana Turner’s character is married to a cripple (Jason Robards) who cannot perform in bed.  He knows that he will never be able to rise to the occasion, and he refuses to give her a divorce. He suspects that she has (or will soon have) one or more affairs.  She is sexy and men are after her!  Eventually, he tells her to go out and “get what you need, but don’t make me know about it.”

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054710/

This is a weak film but you can stream it on Netflix.


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« Reply #144 on: November 02, 2011, 11:07:21 AM »

I love old movies about women having affairs... and murders.  Another deliciously bad one is Dear Murderer (1947).  

Jealous husband Lee Warren believes he has the perfect murder in the bag when he plots to kill the man sleeping with his philandering wife by making it look like a suicide. But the plan shifts when his wife reveals she's got more than one lover!


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« Reply #145 on: November 02, 2011, 11:14:43 AM »

A better one is Portrait in Black (1960).

In love with her invalid husband's physician (Anthony Quinn), beautiful Sheila Cabot (Lana Turner) persuades him to murder her rich spouse in this glossy thriller. Believing they've committed the perfect crime, the lovers are shocked when an anonymous letter turns up congratulating them on the killing -- and soon Sheila and David have more blood on their hands. Will a guilty conscience drive one of them to turn on the other?


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« Reply #146 on: July 10, 2013, 06:04:25 PM »

Spitzer Quickly Hits Establishment Headwind
By MICHAEL BARBARO and DAVID W. CHEN

From corporate boardrooms to the headquarters of the city’s Democratic political campaigns, phone lines lighted up and strategy sessions were organized on Monday with a single mission in mind: stopping Eliot Spitzer.

The surprise decision by former Governor Spitzer to run for citywide office startled and galvanized the city’s political establishment, which worried aloud about handing the TV-savvy and self-financed candidate a new megaphone.

In candid conversations, some of the leaders expressed acute regret over their failure to swiftly undercut the mayoral campaign of former Representative Anthony D. Weiner, another scandal-scarred candidate for citywide office, and said they would not make the same mistake twice.

Behind the scenes, they began to lay out a blueprint for undermining Mr. Spitzer’s bid for comptroller, the city’s third-highest elected office, and for propping up his lesser-known Democratic rival, Scott M. Stringer, the Manhattan borough president.

They quickly zeroed in on what they claimed were Mr. Spitzer’s vulnerabilities: an out-of-control ego; his lawbreaking patronization of prostitutes, which led to his resignation as governor in 2008; and his combative, go-it-alone style.

Strikingly, Democratic leaders drew parallels between Mr. Spitzer and Mr. Weiner, trying to lump them together as two wayward men obsessed with reclaiming power and unworthy of redemption, in a direct appeal to women voters who may decide the races.

“For me the question with both Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer is what have they been doing to earn this second chance?” asked Christine C. Quinn, the City Council speaker and a Democratic candidate for mayor. She said she had seen little that would “redeem themselves from their selfish behavior.”

Business leaders leapt into the ruckus, finding common cause with organized labor as they described Mr. Spitzer as ill-suited to the job of managing the city’s multibillion-dollar pension system and policing city spending.

Such a post, said Kathryn S. Wylde, the head of the Partnership for New York City, made up mainly of real estate, Wall Street and insurance firms, requires intense collaboration and diplomacy with the mayor’s office, the business community and municipal labor unions.

“The tone of the Spitzer announcement and history suggest that’s not the way he would approach the job,” she said in an interview.

In the corridors of finance, executives made little secret of their dismay at the thought of Mr. Spitzer, an often zealous adversary of Wall Street, assuming a job with some authority over the industry. Robert T. Zito, the founder of a brand consulting firm and a former executive at the New York Stock Exchange, which was a relentless target of Mr. Spitzer’s ire over executive pay, put it bluntly: “I would love to see his opponent win.”

Those involved in and briefed about the strategy discussions raised the possibility of organizing a super PAC to counter Mr. Spitzer’s self-financed campaign.

Eyes turned to Mr. Spitzer’s most fervent critics on Wall Street, like the billionaire Kenneth G. Langone, a co-founder of Home Depot and a former director of the New York Stock Exchange, who had relished the governor’s downfall.

According to a person told of his plans, Mr. Langone was mulling independent campaign expenditures against Mr. Spitzer. Mr. Langone was traveling in Europe and an aide said he was unavailable to talk.

Mr. Spitzer, in an interview, appeared to have anticipated the attacks, especially from Wall Street, and sought to turn them to his advantage, by portraying himself as a warrior for regular people.

“When I was attorney general, I made some powerful enemies,” he said. “But I also made a lot of friends,” which he described as the “real people” he had fought for.

The fierce debate about how to deny Mr. Spitzer a place in city government unfolded as he hit the campaign trail for the first time in five years, displaying the kind of studied discipline that characterized his previous runs for office.

Standing on the searing sidewalks of Union Square for over an hour, with sweat dripping down his face onto a pinstriped suit, Mr. Spitzer maintained a stoic smile as he endured loud hecklers and received unsolicited compliments.

An older woman in a straw hat leaned in to the giant scrum forming around Mr. Spitzer and declared: “His wife and his daughters understand. Why shouldn’t we?” A few feet away, a man in a blue polo shirt castigated Mr. Spitzer, “You slept with hookers, and you lied and cheated on your family.”

It appeared that the muscle for the anti-Spitzer operation might emerge from the city’s labor unions, which view Mr. Stringer as a reliable ally, and are wary of the less predictable Mr. Spitzer, who has not hesitated to confront them in the past.

Michael Mulgrew, president of the United Federation of Teachers, said all options — including tapping its own campaign funds for television ads — were under consideration. “We’re going to make sure that we do everything in our power to make sure Scott is the next comptroller,” he said. “Weiner has kind of been given a free pass.”

Even as they grudgingly acknowledged Mr. Spitzer’s technical credentials for the job of comptroller, the union leaders cast doubt on his motivation for seeking a return to public life.

“He is running to clear his name, to build a public persona again,” said Héctor J. Figueroa, president of 32BJ, the city union of janitors and doormen, which has endorsed Mr. Stringer. He called the comptroller’s office “the wrong position” for Mr. Spitzer.

Mr. Stringer, who had expected a smooth path to the Democratic nomination for comptroller, moved quickly on Monday to rally his most high-profile campaign supporters and surrogates, many of them women. Appearing alongside his wife on the Upper West Side, he dismissed reporters’ questions about whether Mr. Spitzer should be forgiven.

“This isn’t mea culpa time,” he said. “I’m not getting into all that.”

One of Mr. Stringer’s supporters, Gloria Steinem, the feminist writer, trumpeted Mr. Stringer’s record on issues like domestic violence and questioned Mr. Spitzer’s sudden yearning to be comptroller. “This is the target of opportunity,” she said. “I would be surprised to learn that he had ever in his life expressed a wish to be comptroller.”

There were signs that Mr. Spitzer’s opponents had already succeeded in complicating his plans.

According to people close to him, Neal Kwatra, a top city political strategist who had voluntarily helped orchestrate the rollout of Mr. Spitzer’s campaign, decided to cut his ties with the campaign amid signs that some of his clients, including the city’s Hotel Trades Council, which is backing Mr. Stringer, were cool to the Spitzer candidacy. Mr. Kwatra declined to comment.

Mr. Spitzer insisted throughout the day that he was happy to have returned to the hurly-burly, even as he found himself unable to move at times in the crush of cameras and reporters. “It’s exciting,” he said. “It’s fun.”

Whatever the ultimate outcome of his campaign, it clearly had an immediate effect on Mr. Weiner. At a news conference he called to talk about bike policy, Mr. Weiner faced seemingly nonstop questions about the former governor.

Asked if Mr. Spitzer had stolen some of the political limelight, Mr. Weiner replied, “Clearly, it’s shifted away.”
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« Reply #147 on: July 10, 2013, 06:19:34 PM »

He is running against the pimp of his former prostitute....

you cant write a better script than this, only in NY!!!!
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« Reply #148 on: July 12, 2013, 11:05:36 AM »

Butterbean do you still think it will end?

Several years later...?  It is clear that Silda is not leaving her husband.  Bah!
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« Reply #149 on: December 24, 2013, 10:22:42 PM »

Spitzer and wife announce marriage ends

NEW YORK (AP) — Former New York governor Eliot Spitzer and his wife announced late Tuesday that their two-decade-plus marriage is over.

The couple issued a statement announcing the split, saying "We regret that our marital relationship has come to an end and we have agreed not to make any other public statement on this subject."

Spitzer and his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, were married in 1987 and she supported his rise from state's attorney general to governor. They have three grown children.

She stood by his side in 2008 when Spitzer resigned after admitting he paid for sex with prostitutes, but largely stepped out of the public eye after that. A former corporate lawyer, she went to work in the business world.

Spitzer attempted a political comeback this year by running for city comptroller but lost in the Democratic primary.

Wall Spitzer did not campaign publically for him. They have been living apart for months.


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