One day Rupert comes home to his boyfriend John who says, "Hey, I think I've got something up my ass. Can you have a look?" So Rupert rubs his hands with glee, gets on his knees and has a good look at said cavity and says, "I don't see anything." And then John says, "No, I definitely feel something. Put your finger in there and have a feel." So Rupert does that and still doesn't find anything. Pissed off, John says, "FFS. Just keep going till you find it." So Rupert goes in elbow deep, feels something and pulls it out to see it's a Rolex watch, upon which John starts singing 'Happy birthday to you'.