Author Topic: Bad Parents  (Read 4046 times)

Eyeball Chambers

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Bad Parents
« on: December 28, 2008, 01:40:42 PM »
Today I heard a guy call his son "Dumb Ass" for pushing a door you have to pull to open.  I also heard a woman tell her son to behave before she "busted his mouth".

WTF?
S

The Showstoppa

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2008, 01:43:34 PM »
Today I heard a guy call his son "Dumb Ass" for pushing a door you have to pull to open.  I also heard a woman tell her son to behave before she "busted his mouth".

WTF?

Ah yes...the old "bust you in the mouth" school of discipline....good stuff.

NaturalWonder83

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2008, 01:44:15 PM »
worry about yourself and not others
w

Eyeball Chambers

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2008, 01:45:51 PM »
worry about yourself and not others

We'll all remember that next time you post one of your idiotic questions.

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benz

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2008, 01:47:35 PM »
I believe a good beating help a lot to educate kids. And no im not joking, as i read somewhere, greet them when they do right, and beat them when they do wrong.
.

beef-sword

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2008, 01:55:12 PM »
i carry a switch blade for when my son doesn't say ''thanks sooo much pappa''....   he has a biiiiggg smile from ear to ear......really!
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bigguns23

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2008, 02:19:56 PM »
I believe a good beating help a lot to educate kids. And no im not joking, as i read somewhere, greet them when they do right, and beat them when they do wrong.

wow.

disco_stu

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2008, 02:23:24 PM »
Today I heard a guy call his son "Dumb Ass" for pushing a door you have to pull to open.  I also heard a woman tell her son to behave before she "busted his mouth".

WTF?

lol. i do that!...

me and my son have a routine where i abuse him verbally whenever theres an old lady or someone around...its hilarious to see their faces!

like- wait till we get home, im going to take the belt to you and draw blood...

and he replies "no dad, ive still got stitches from the last beating".

fwiw ive never hit my kid in his 13 years and he's a legend. all beatings teach is violence. if you need to beat then you're doing something wrong.

ive got a daughter too...shes not old enough for the "routine" yet...but im sure we'll get there.


garebear

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2008, 02:25:43 PM »
True story. One time I heard a parent say to their kid, "Keep this up and you'll be reading all summer."

I think it is the worst sentence I ever heard.
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jesusbod

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2008, 03:29:35 PM »
Today I heard a guy call his son "Dumb Ass" for pushing a door you have to pull to open.  I also heard a woman tell her son to behave before she "busted his mouth".

WTF?

I got popped in the mouth by my mom a few times. I turned out just fine. Maybe a few pops here and there from parents may actually teach them a thing or two before becoming total deviants.

bigdumbbell

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2008, 06:36:44 PM »
my kids know that if they fuck up the cards will be yanked in a ny minute

QuakerOats

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2008, 07:03:34 PM »
worry about yourself and not others
exactly.

Eyeball Chambers

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #12 on: December 28, 2008, 07:43:21 PM »
You can't earn respect beating it into someone. You have to earn respect the old fashioned way. You earn your child's respect by being a mentor and role model. Just because you fathered a child doesn't mean they have to respect you -- that's the biggest mistake bad parents make. They assume. Kids don't owe you shit. But they will respect you if you are worthy of respect.

Beating = fear-based environment. Eventually, the child grows enough to no longer fear you, then they lash out with the fury of years of built up anxiety. The result is usually none too pleasant.

We got beatings as kids. I would never raise a hand to my kids though. I love them too much to fail them that badly as a parent.

Good post
S

disco_stu

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2008, 07:49:42 PM »
You can't earn respect beating it into someone. You have to earn respect the old fashioned way. You earn your child's respect by being a mentor and role model. Just because you fathered a child doesn't mean they have to respect you -- that's the biggest mistake bad parents make. They assume. Kids don't owe you shit. But they will respect you if you are worthy of respect.

Beating = fear-based environment. Eventually, the child grows enough to no longer fear you, then they lash out with the fury of years of built up anxiety. The result is usually none too pleasant.

We got beatings as kids. I would never raise a hand to my kids though. I love them too much to fail them that badly as a parent.

couldnt agree more. thats the exact model i use. you are so right when you say that respect must be earnt- its not given.

im proud to have brought my kids up the way i have- it hasnt been easy, but the fruit is/will be worth it i can tell already.

i admit that one time my son went through a phase where he was hitting me all the time- he was about 3. i told him that if he did it one more time id hit him back. (this was after he had a good time to go through this phase)...he hit me about a day later and i hit him back quicker than he even realised he'd hit me...the shock scared him out of the habit straight away. classic.

(dont worry, it wasnt brutal or hard- it was just for effect).

grab an umbrella

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2008, 07:55:15 PM »

Tapeworm

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2008, 08:05:40 PM »
I heard an old friend of mine in the US killed his abusive father with a shotgun.  Live by the sword, die by the sword.

kh300

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2008, 08:27:20 PM »
You can't earn respect beating it into someone. You have to earn respect the old fashioned way. You earn your child's respect by being a mentor and role model. Just because you fathered a child doesn't mean they have to respect you -- that's the biggest mistake bad parents make. They assume. Kids don't owe you shit. But they will respect you if you are worthy of respect.

Beating = fear-based environment. Eventually, the child grows enough to no longer fear you, then they lash out with the fury of years of built up anxiety. The result is usually none too pleasant.

We got beatings as kids. I would never raise a hand to my kids though. I love them too much to fail them that badly as a parent.


respect isnt something you get, its something you give.

Fat Personal Trainer

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2008, 08:37:29 PM »
Today I heard a guy call his son "Dumb Ass" for pushing a door you have to pull to open.  I also heard a woman tell her son to behave before she "busted his mouth".

WTF?

Were you with the dad for 8 hours prior to hearing those 2 words?

Were you with the mom for 4 minutes prior to hearing those 3 words?

If not, STFU. You have no idea what you are talking about.


James Phoenix

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #18 on: December 28, 2008, 10:47:41 PM »
I was beaten by my father on occasion and I don't think it affected me negatively.
He didn't do it frequently at all; only when I acted up severely.
If I did something major I remember getting the metal side of the belt until I had bleeding welts on my back.
Once, after getting suspended from school, I got a punch across the face.
The ultimate result is that, today, I can be injured, but I can't really feel physical pain.

Now in some cultures, it is common to beat kids for the slightest infractions.
I think that this sort of discipline without patience breeds criminals -
especially amongst those with the unfortunate combination of low intelligence and high testosterone.
You have to remember that, parents set the tone for their children as far as personal moral standards.

So if you have a child that is the product of such an environment, it's not going to take much to set them off as an adult.
Prisons are filled with such impulsive types - the result of bad parenting.
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Dreadlord

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #19 on: December 28, 2008, 10:58:38 PM »
I was beaten by my father on occasion and I don't think it affected me negatively.
He didn't do it frequently at all; only when I acted up severely.
If I did something major I remember getting the metal side of the belt until I had bleeding welts on my back.
Once, after getting suspended from school, I got a punch across the face.
The ultimate result is that, today, I can be injured, but I can't really feel physical pain.

Now in some cultures, it is common to beat kids for the slightest infractions.
I think that this sort of discipline without patience breeds criminals -
especially amongst those with the unfortunate combination of low intelligence and high testosterone.
You have to remember that, parents set the tone for their children as far as personal moral standards.

So if you have a child that is the product of such an environment, it's not going to take much to set them off as an adult.
Prisons are filled with such impulsive types - the result of bad parenting.


Happens in a lot in Asian countries. Its more of a disciplinary thing than being malicious (although that happens as well) A lot of "old school" Chinese and Indian parents use beatings to "motivate" their kids to study harder.

James Phoenix

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #20 on: December 28, 2008, 11:03:41 PM »

Happens a lot in Asian countries. Its more of a disciplinary thing than being malicious (although that happens as well) A lot of "old school" Chinese and Indian parents use beatings to "motivate" their kids to study harder.

I can picture them using severe discipline when their children act up or make poor grades, but I wonder if it's a constant thing.
In such cultures, the threat of a beating probably looms over the child's head as a sort of motivation to study hard;
however, I don't see them slapping the kid across the face in the movie theatre because they were talking loud.

I'm not sure though; which is true?

Are you saying Asian/Indian culture = frequent+harsh discipline or rare+harsh discipline?

If it's that latter, then that's similar to my own upbringing.

Also, it may be the case that their children just aren't compelled to act disruptively;
so the frequency of discipline may be less - though severe as any.
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Pecs

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #21 on: December 28, 2008, 11:15:14 PM »
i carry a switch blade for when my son doesn't say ''thanks sooo much pappa''....   he has a biiiiggg smile from ear to ear......really!

Why sooooooooo seeeeeerious??

Dreadlord

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #22 on: December 28, 2008, 11:20:36 PM »
I can picture them using severe discipline when their children act up or make poor grades, but I wonder if it's a constant thing.
In such cultures, the threat of a beating probably looms over the children's head as a sort of motivation to study hard;
however, I don't see them slapping the kid across the face in the movie theatre because they were talking loud.

I'm not sure though; which is true?

Are you saying Asian/Indian culture = frequent+harsh discipline or rare+harsh discipline?

If it's that latter, then that's similar to my own upbringing.

Also, it may be the case that their children just aren't compelled to act disruptively;
so the frequency of discipline may be less - though severe as any.

Back in University a few Asian students told me about the beating they received as kids by their parents and in school. It wasn't harsh (according to them) just a painful motivator or, in most cases, used when they acted up excessively. It was more of a case of inducing good habits while discouraging the bad ones.  In their cases the "motivation" stopped once they were teens because by then they were much more mature and had acquired good study habits and behavior skills.  I guess it was a case of "spare the rod and spoil the child".  

James Phoenix

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #23 on: December 28, 2008, 11:33:37 PM »
Back in University a few Asian students told me about the beating they received as kids by their parents and in school. It wasn't harsh (according to them) just a painful motivator or, in most cases, used when they acted up excessively. It was more of a case of inducing good habits while discouraging the bad ones.  In their cases the "motivation" stopped once they were teens because by then they were much more mature and had acquired good study habits and behavior skills.  I guess it was a case of "spare the rod and spoil the child". 

I think that sort of 'moderate' corporal punishment is the best method, because it teaches tact.
Children need to learn that, when they push certain limits, they are putting themselves in a dangerous situation.
Observing the children of parents that don't practice any corporal punishment,
it's clear that they will grow up to be spoiled brats with a sense of entitlement.
Unaware of the possible physical consequences of their haughty attitude,
they could be in for a rude surprise when interacting with societies more impulsive types.

Now of course there are many other factors at play here, when talking about psychological development -
genetic disposition being the most obvious.

Constant and severe beatings will just make you angry at the world.

In the case of the Asian/Indian students, they didn't grow up hating everyone,
because they were capable of recognising that the beatings they received were well deserved.


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Dreadlord

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #24 on: December 28, 2008, 11:57:28 PM »


In the case of the Asian/Indian students, they didn't grow up hating everyone,
because they were capable of recognising that the beatings they received were well deserved.


Well....maybe not always deserved because kids should have a chance to enjoy their childhood as well instead of being subjected to rigorous study sessions but nevertheless none of them (the ones I know) feel any bitterness towards their parents. They understood the mindset behind it as they got older. 

In countries like China and India the competition to get into good schools is fierce. The demand outstrips supply and hard work is a necessity.