Author Topic: Branch Warren Sequence - Now...PART IX UPDATED 9/26!!  (Read 20119 times)

QuakerOats

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #50 on: March 04, 2009, 04:37:33 PM »
Branch Warren Sequence (Pt 3)

Branch leads the way into The Outback Steakhouse.  You are tempted to hold his belt as you obediently follow.  Branch's physique demands attention and attention it gets: The place goes quiet as the crowd stares in awe of his iron-forged musculature.  Women throw flirting glances at Branch, while the men stew in their own inadequacy.  The two of you are seated at the best table in the house.  Branch demolishes 2 T-Bone Steaks like a Neanderthal, while you nervously nibble at the edges of a garden salad.  Branch then announces it's time to get back to his vehicle.  You're in the Outback parking lot waiting on Branch while he's in the Men's Room taking a Man-Piss.  All of a sudden you're surrounded by several thugs!  They brandish knives and demand your money and car keys!  You see your life flash before your eyes.

(Pt 4 coming)
;D i have to admit this shit has me ROFL.

gordiano

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #51 on: March 04, 2009, 04:59:16 PM »
Jewhit, any chance you could do one on Kai Greene at the produce section in a Super Market?
HAHA, RON.....

DeketheCreep

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #52 on: March 04, 2009, 05:12:11 PM »
LMAO that was great  ;D ;D
Branch to the rescue!

Hunter86

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #53 on: March 04, 2009, 09:44:08 PM »
2nd best thread ever after Bobby Sly.  This is amazing part 4 is going to revolutionize this board I can feel. 

Branch's physique demands attention and attention it gets.

that line got me good

Which bodybuilder are you going to profile next Jehwit?


DeketheCreep

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #54 on: March 04, 2009, 10:02:42 PM »
2nd best thread ever after Bobby Sly.  This is amazing part 4 is going to revolutionize this board I can feel. 

that line got me good

Which bodybuilder are you going to profile next Jehwit?


hopefully jay cutler

bigdumbbell

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #55 on: March 04, 2009, 10:04:08 PM »
ben weider would have loved the musculature part 

jehwit

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #56 on: March 05, 2009, 03:46:40 PM »
Part IV is the one you guys are all waiting for. Trust me.

The True Adonis

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #57 on: March 05, 2009, 03:57:41 PM »
Hopefully you can tell us the story of how the clothes shopping with Branch went at the camping store.

BIG DUB

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #58 on: March 05, 2009, 09:09:34 PM »
Every time I look at one of his videos on MD I bust out laughing! After it's done please post this on MD!

jehwit

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #59 on: March 06, 2009, 07:30:22 AM »
Part IV is in the works.

mass 04

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #60 on: March 06, 2009, 07:31:56 AM »
LMAO ;D

Hunter86

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART III UPDATED!!
« Reply #61 on: March 06, 2009, 07:48:50 PM »
Part IV is in the works.

hurry up, the anticipation is killing us

jehwit

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1-3, AND NOW: PART IV!!
« Reply #62 on: March 09, 2009, 05:31:20 PM »
Branch Warren Sequence (Pt. IV)

The leader of this vicious crew of thugs is now nose to nose with you.  His contorted beige face gives little clue to his origins: Is he Latin?  Is he Asian?  You can't tell!  He demands your keys and money in some kind of fucked up accent as his saliva pellets your victimized face.  "HEY!!"  It's Branch!  He runs out of the Outback Steakhouse with the speed and power of a running back sprinting for the winning touchdown.  You take a step back as your assailant becomes distracted with the charging bull Branch!  The gang doesn't know what to think as they survey the mass of twisted steel that is Branche's physique.  Branch pulls off his wife beater and wraps it around his fist.  His unreal torso shocks even the most hardened of these hooligans.  He assumes a combat stance and moves into the space of the knife wielding gang leader with the prowess of a jungle cat.  The leader swipes clumsily with his weapon, and Branch intercepts his wrist.  The knife flies and skids across the asphalt.  Branch now has the punk's wrist subdued with one hand  and clutches his throat with the other.  He lifts the crumb overhead and slams his body with Herculean Force into the cement.  The fallen leader's cronies turn and run like frightened rats as Branch stands shirtless, gleaming in the afternoon sun as though he were forged by the gods themselves.
(Pt. V is coming)

bigdumbbell

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1-3, AND NOW: PART IV!!
« Reply #63 on: March 09, 2009, 06:00:35 PM »
Branch Warren Sequence (Pt. IV)

The leader of this vicious crew of thugs is now nose to nose with you.  His contorted beige face gives little clue to his origins: Is he Latin?  Is he Asian?  You can't tell!  He demands your keys and money in some kind of fucked up accent as his saliva pellets your victimized face.  "HEY!!"  It's Branch!  He runs out of the Outback Steakhouse with the speed and power of a running back sprinting for the winning touchdown.  You take a step back as your assailant becomes distracted with the charging bull Branch!  The gang doesn't know what to think as they survey the mass of twisted steel that is Branche's physique.  Branch pulls off his wife beater and wraps it around his fist.  His unreal torso shocks even the most hardened of these hooligans.  He assumes a combat stance and moves into the space of the knife wielding gang leader with the prowess of a jungle cat.  The leader swipes clumsily with his weapon, and Branch intercepts his wrist.  The knife flies and skids across the asphalt.  Branch now has the punk's wrist subdued with one hand  and clutches his throat with the other.  He lifts the crumb overhead and slams his body with Herculean Force into the cement.  The fallen leader's cronies turn and run like frightened rats as Branch stands shirtless, gleaming in the afternoon sun as though he were forged by the gods themselves.
(Pt. V is coming)

weak   

nycbull

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Method101

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART 4 UPDATED!!
« Reply #65 on: March 10, 2009, 12:40:19 AM »
 ;D

Hunter86

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Part 1 & 2 NOW!!PART 4 UPDATED!!
« Reply #66 on: March 10, 2009, 09:36:44 AM »
good shit, your setting a presidence jehwit.  Please don't disappoint

jehwit

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Parts 1-4! Updated!
« Reply #67 on: March 13, 2009, 11:25:20 AM »
Do you guys want Pt. 5 now or after the weekend?

CastIron

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Parts 1-4! Updated!
« Reply #68 on: March 13, 2009, 11:26:56 AM »
Imagine if you were struggling to bench press with a heavy weight and Branch came over and spots you, pulls some plates off for you and spots you while you do another set, giving words of encouragement as you grind out one rep after another.  When you get off the bench he slaps you on the back, and he's so powerful you REALLY feel it!  After the workout you see Branch again in the parking lot with car trouble, so you approach him and ask if he needs a ride.  He says "you bet" and the both of you get in your car and take off.  Branch is so freaking big his arms rub against yours as you drive...

(Pt 2 is coming)
lmao this is some gay ass shit.

Grenade

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Parts 1-4! Updated!
« Reply #69 on: March 13, 2009, 12:05:13 PM »
Do you guys want Pt. 5 now or after the weekend?

now plz :D

Hunter86

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Parts 1-4! Updated!
« Reply #70 on: March 13, 2009, 03:37:43 PM »
Do you guys want Pt. 5 now or after the weekend?

now!!!! right fucking now!!!!!

SquatsRule

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Parts 1-4! Updated!
« Reply #71 on: March 13, 2009, 03:46:11 PM »
He assumes a combat stance and moves into the space of the knife wielding gang leader with the prowess of a jungle cat.

LOL
S

Game Time

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Parts 1-4! Updated!
« Reply #72 on: March 13, 2009, 04:10:18 PM »
haha these are halarious! I vote part V now

Sexual Mustard

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Parts 1-4! Updated! PART V INFO!
« Reply #73 on: March 15, 2009, 12:37:28 PM »
UPDATE:  I had to scrap Part V due to artistic reasons.  I am redoing it.  All I can say is that the original Part V may or may not have a place in this literary universe, however, at the present moment, it may prove to be too "extreme" for many readers, and a more "reader-friendly" Part V will be on the way soon.  I promise.

These are fucking hilarious; i would draw little cartoons to go with them if i had the time   ;D

3Dkiller

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Re: Branch Warren Sequence - Parts 1-4! Updated! PART V INFO!
« Reply #74 on: March 15, 2009, 06:57:52 PM »
gay alert!
TEAM WOLF