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Author Topic: Today's Funnies  (Read 6336 times)
yng466
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« Reply #100 on: January 11, 2010, 01:21:44 AM »

 Cool


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yng466
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« Reply #101 on: January 11, 2010, 01:17:50 PM »

 Grin


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Migs
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THERE WAS A FIRE FIGHT!!!!


« Reply #102 on: January 14, 2010, 08:41:03 PM »

that hooters must have some low standards
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yng466
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« Reply #103 on: January 19, 2010, 04:25:02 AM »

 Grin


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Princess L
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I stop for turtles


« Reply #104 on: January 19, 2010, 09:13:26 AM »

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'    Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'- Eleanor Roosevelt 


Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.- Mark Twain


The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.- George Burns


Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. Victor Borge


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.- Mark Twain


By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates


I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx


My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.- Jimmy Durante


I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor


Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.- Alex Levine


My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.- Rodney Dangerfield


Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.- Spike Milligan


Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP . - Joe Namath
I don't feel old.. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.- Bob Hope


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it- W. C. Fields


We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.- Will Rogers


Don't worry about avoiding temptation.   As you grow older, it will avoid you.- Winston Churchill


Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.- Phyllis Diller


By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.- Billy Crystal


And the cardiologist's diet:  -  If it tastes good spit it out.
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yng466
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« Reply #105 on: January 25, 2010, 06:47:19 PM »

 Huh


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Princess L
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I stop for turtles


« Reply #106 on: January 26, 2010, 11:02:38 AM »

.


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yng466
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« Reply #107 on: January 26, 2010, 07:35:07 PM »

OH NO!!! Shocked
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Migs
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THERE WAS A FIRE FIGHT!!!!


« Reply #108 on: January 26, 2010, 07:48:59 PM »

dead puppy
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