Hey Groink i have always been a pussy when it came to drugs and shit (just weed long time ago) but when you write things like that, three things come to mind:
1. I think sometimes i am a little jealous cus going wild and crazy like that and getting fucked up everyday seem like a good time (obviously when not thinking about the long term effects). I sometimes wonder if i missed out on anything being such a pussy when it comes to partying drugs.
You did and you didn't....I will admit I've been in some fucking wild scenarios in my life, due to the people I was running with and a lot of it was insanely exciting shit that most people see in the movies. Not trying to brag at all. It was what it was. But being on the other end now i see that My whole realty was skewed. Me and the people I ran with were highly fucked up people with no moral compass whatsoever. anything and everything goes, no boundaries. wouldn't want that for my child
2.
When you took that shit and was getting fucked up, how did you support yourself? How do you make ends meet? Stick to schedules? Go gym? Basically do you have a set of things to do when u get up or are you just thinking of getting fucked up?
I always worked regardless, but the thing is the people i worked with, and for, and worked for me as well....were all just as fucked up as I was. Nobody got fired because we All would disappear for three days, if it wasn't me it was someone else in the crew. We were lucky enough that between us we had a lot of connections in our field. I had the contract to do all voice and data work for SONY's buildings in Manhattan and Jersey, My friend Teo had ARROW electronics' two HUGE buildings on the island and another guy got a LOT of CCTV work from the "boys" ....so we made good money. and we didn't have to punch a clock.
The gym was something i always kept doing....I was too vain to let myself go
there were many times I literally dragged myself to the gym when I was a zombie or worked out high as a kite
3. Before taking the drugs did you ever think shit this stuff mite kill me or fuck up my health? Or does taking the drugs make you oblivious to harm they can cause ?
Fuck yeah i worried. I have seen many a person OD or bug the fuck out because they were too high. I checked myself into the emergency room once because I thought my heart was going to explode after being banged up for three days. Let me tell you, being that high is like death
Glad you sober and clean now bro and enjoying life, all the best. Hope i don't come across too much of a pussy in this post but being a sensible guy you sometimes feel your missing out on something.
I'm just glad to be here period
Like I said it was what it was and I have good stories to tell...but all things considered I would trade the wild nights for a more stable life any day.