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Author Topic: i'm going to be 45 and i still don't have a real career?!  (Read 50391 times)
BayGBM
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« Reply #100 on: August 31, 2010, 07:38:44 AM »

It has been more than a year since his original post... is Tom still living in the midwest (with his younger brother because he can't afford his own place) working part time as a manager in a rec center "hating it, the pay sucks and there is no chance for me to move up" and hating everyone he works with?  Or has he managed to turn things around, move to San Diego and live the glamourous life? Cool
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« Reply #101 on: August 31, 2010, 07:39:55 AM »

It is more than a year since his original post... is Tom still living in the midwest (with his younger brother because he can't afford his own place) working part time as a manager in a rec center "hating it, the pay sucks and there is no chance for me to move up" and hating everyone he works with?  Or has he managed to turn things around, move to San Diego and live the glamourous life? Cool
Takes money to move bay.
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« Reply #102 on: August 31, 2010, 07:49:51 AM »

It takes money to buy a cup of coffee; what’s your point?  Or should I take that to mean you don’t think he has turned things around?

I moved several times as a grad student, and a few times after that early in my career (across country more than once).  I didn’t have much money when I did it, but I did it.  There are cheap ways to move such as u-haul, http://www.doortodoor.com/  Where there is a will, there is a way.  Tens of thousands of immigrants “move” to the US with nothing more than the clothes on their backs, often with children in tow--and not even speaking English, yet they still come here and manage to build a successful life for themselves.  What do they have that Tom does not?  Shouldn't someone who already lives here, already speaks the language, has the benefit of an American education, with knowledge of how America "works" be way ahead of some lowly immigrant? Huh
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« Reply #103 on: August 31, 2010, 11:00:26 AM »

It takes money to buy a cup of coffee; what’s your point?  Or should I take that to mean you don’t think he has turned things around?

I moved several times as a grad student, and a few times after that early in my career (across country more than once).  I didn’t have much money when I did it, but I did it.  There are cheap ways to move such as u-haul, http://www.doortodoor.com/  Where there is a will, there is a way.  Tens of thousands of immigrants “move” to the US with nothing more than the clothes on their backs, often with children in tow--and not even speaking English, yet they still come here and manage to build a successful life for themselves.  What do they have that Tom does not?  Shouldn't someone who already lives here, already speaks the language, has the benefit of an American education, with knowledge of how America "works" be way ahead of some lowly immigrant? Huh

I believe the character quality you're speaking of is called "INITIATIVE"


BTW: Where there's a will, ...there's a relative.  Wink
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« Reply #104 on: August 31, 2010, 12:29:20 PM »

It takes money to buy a cup of coffee; what’s your point?  Or should I take that to mean you don’t think he has turned things around?

I moved several times as a grad student, and a few times after that early in my career (across country more than once).  I didn’t have much money when I did it, but I did it.  There are cheap ways to move such as u-haul, http://www.doortodoor.com/  Where there is a will, there is a way.  Tens of thousands of immigrants “move” to the US with nothing more than the clothes on their backs, often with children in tow--and not even speaking English, yet they still come here and manage to build a successful life for themselves.  What do they have that Tom does not?  Shouldn't someone who already lives here, already speaks the language, has the benefit of an American education, with knowledge of how America "works" be way ahead of some lowly immigrant? Huh

Ouch!  We will never know because Tom won't return to this thread... would you? 

Doom disapproves of Tom.  Bah!
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BayGBM
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« Reply #105 on: August 31, 2010, 01:20:47 PM »

Tom reports that he was “dealing with 99 percent assholes” and he “hate everyone I work with.”  He applied those descriptions to two different working environments.  Does anyone else see the problem here?  Are we supposed to believe that in two different settings everyone around him was the problem?  I appreciate that Tom has Hollywood dreams, but it is past time for a reality check.

True, there is no shortage of assholes in the world, but a successful, capable, professional is able to work with and even thrive, when they have to work with assholes or people they hate.  No matter how toxic the environment (and every environment is toxic to some extent) you still have to navigate the political minefield, negotiate your way past the frienemies, past the backstabbers and get the job done in a way that impresses your boss and makes you and your unit within the organization come out smelling like a rose.    Winners can do this.  Losers cannot.  Embarrassed


the question i have is what is considered abuse and treatment at the workplace to where you could hire a lawyer and sue for harassment/mistreatment?

examples?

i mean we've all worked for bosses who are assholes, who yell at you or make you the scapegoat for when things go wrong and etcetera, but what crosses the line in their treatment of you to where you have a legitimate case against them.

besides the sexual and physical and discrimanatory abuse based on your religion, ethnicity and orientation. obviously that is against the law those abuses, but like i said when does a person know how much abuse is quote "normal and just the way it is" and what is over the line?

 Roll Eyes
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« Reply #106 on: August 31, 2010, 01:53:38 PM »

It takes money to buy a cup of coffee; what’s your point?  Or should I take that to mean you don’t think he has turned things around?

I moved several times as a grad student, and a few times after that early in my career (across country more than once).  I didn’t have much money when I did it, but I did it.  There are cheap ways to move such as u-haul, http://www.doortodoor.com/  Where there is a will, there is a way.  Tens of thousands of immigrants “move” to the US with nothing more than the clothes on their backs, often with children in tow--and not even speaking English, yet they still come here and manage to build a successful life for themselves.  What do they have that Tom does not?  Shouldn't someone who already lives here, already speaks the language, has the benefit of an American education, with knowledge of how America "works" be way ahead of some lowly immigrant? Huh
IT TAKES MONEY TO MOVE. that's my point. What dont you understand?
It's hard to move across country if you don't have $$$. Don't say he should sell everything and buy new things. That takes money too. Unless he starts sell family heirlooms. Roll Eyes
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« Reply #107 on: August 31, 2010, 03:21:11 PM »

I guess what I don’t understand is why you are stating the obvious.  We all know things cost money.  Presumably, the guy has been working and accumulated some funds since he is living (rent free?) with his little brother while he got back on his feet.  Having read his previous posts, I do not get the impression that he has a lot of “things” to move and/or sell.

Anyway, moving across country, or anywhere else for that matter, is easy if you have a credit card.  Most moves do not require a big cash outlay upfront.  Be it a u-haul, a professional moving company, doortodoor, etc, one pays for it all with a credit card.
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HTexan
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« Reply #108 on: August 31, 2010, 07:39:24 PM »

I guess what I don’t understand is why you are stating the obvious.  We all know things cost money.  Presumably, the guy has been working and accumulated some funds since he is living (rent free?) with his little brother while he got back on his feet.  Having read his previous posts, I do not get the impression that he has a lot of “things” to move and/or sell.

Anyway, moving across country, or anywhere else for that matter, is easy if you have a credit card.  Most moves do not require a big cash outlay upfront.  Be it a u-haul, a professional moving company, doortodoor, etc, one pays for it all with a credit card.

so you saying dude should get in debt moving?
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« Reply #109 on: September 01, 2010, 03:33:54 AM »

It has been more than a year since his original post... is Tom still living in the midwest (with his younger brother because he can't afford his own place) working part time as a manager in a rec center "hating it, the pay sucks and there is no chance for me to move up" and hating everyone he works with?  Or has he managed to turn things around, move to San Diego and live the glamourous life? Cool


I hear that there are no problems in San Diego.

Everybody makes well over six-figures (including to the right of the decimal)
The climate is great (mudslides & wildfires keep things interesting for residents)
The cost of living is low (at least, maybe compared to Beverly Hills)
The jobs are plentiful and easy to get (if you're willing to work for illegal immigrant wages)
And people with the "why me" and "the world is against me" mantras...

Look - everybody has shit thrown at them.
It's how you work that shovel to get out of it that matters.
But moving to another corner of the room and crying will NOT protect you from the rising feces.
Pick up that shovel and practice shoveling the shit as far away from you as possible.
You can learn to do it quite well over time, and as your muscles build up, it will become easier, too.

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BayGBM
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« Reply #110 on: September 01, 2010, 05:04:39 AM »

so you saying dude should get in debt moving?

You are sounding more and more like Tom.  Embarrassed
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HTexan
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« Reply #111 on: September 01, 2010, 06:19:26 AM »

You are sounding more and more like Tom.  Embarrassed
And You sound more and more like Latrell Sprewell Sad
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« Reply #112 on: November 30, 2010, 09:38:36 AM »

Welcome back Tom. GB needs you as much as you need GB!
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BayGBM
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« Reply #113 on: April 03, 2011, 09:20:07 AM »

Tom meet David.
What a difference!  Roll Eyes

A millionaire who never stops worrying about retirement
David Moehlman, a 44-year-old schoolteacher on an extreme savings regimen, seeks protection for his sizeable nest egg so he won't fret so much.
By Ann Marsh

Schoolteacher David Moehlman has a money problem.

He has a lot of it — more than $1 million in savings accounts and mutual funds, plus half a million or so in real estate. And he has no debt.

Moehlman, 44, didn't amass the vast majority of this nest egg through an inheritance or other windfall. He worked hard and made some good investments.

And he took savings to an extreme. For example, he eats breakfast and dinner every day at fast-food places where he always orders off the $1 menu, and lunch is usually a 75-cent microwave burrito.

He has a car, but it comes out of the garage only a couple of times a year. Otherwise he rides a motorcycle to save on gas. When the weather turns rainy and cold, he dons a snowsuit for riding.

But he worries constantly about money — especially that he will not have enough for retirement — and has made saving a center of his life.

"If I had $10 million I wouldn't live any differently because spending money doesn't make me happy," said Moehlman, who lives in Moreno Valley. "I don't know where it comes from, but I've always been this way."

Happiness is not something a financial advisor can guarantee. But Sandra Field, a certified financial planner in Cypress, met with him to go over his finances to offer advice on how he could put his fiscal house in order and better protect the money he's worked hard to save.

And then maybe he could at least worry less.

"Overall it's refreshing to run into someone without debt on credit cards," Field said. "But there's more to life than money. He could end up like Scrooge."

Moehlman has about $74,000 in checking and savings accounts. And he has nearly $1.2 million in mutual funds, all of which are exclusively invested in U.S. stocks — a major red flag.

Just as Moehlman follows an extreme regimen for saving, he also goes to extremes in his investments.

"With him, it's full pedal to the metal or nothing," Field said.

Although Moehlman had done well lately with his focus on U.S. stocks, Field strongly recommended that he diversify his mutual fund investments. She suggested he put 50% of it in funds that hold U.S. stocks, 13% in international stock funds and 30% in funds that hold bonds.

The remaining 7% would be kept in savings or other cash accounts.

The planner applauded that Moehlman had put about 47% of his mutual fund investments in tax-deferred accounts, which greatly lowered his tax bracket. "It's really a triumph of tax-deferred growth," Field said.

She recommended he continue his practice of putting about $38,000 a year into the tax-deferred accounts.

Moehlman makes about $80,000 a year teaching fourth grade. Much of his additional taxable income comes from rental properties.

After the real estate crash, he scooped up five condominiums in Riverside County, which was especially hard hit with depressed property values. At the market's top, these condos had been valued at $275,000 to $350,000. He bought them last year for $70,000 to $118,000, and paid cash.


Moehlman lives in one and rents out the others. After paying homeowner's association fees and taxes, the condos generate $2,750 a month in rental income.

He has been so happy with the condo situation that he hopes to buy more. A lot more.

"If the prices drop to $50,000," he said, "I'll take all my cash and buy 10 to 15 more..."

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-money-makeover-20110323,0,2830705.story
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« Reply #114 on: April 04, 2011, 12:25:45 PM »

"And he took savings to an extreme. For example, he eats breakfast and dinner every day at fast-food places where he always orders off the $1 menu, and lunch is usually a 75-cent microwave burrito."

What good is having a big savings if he's going croak before getting to enjoy it because he eats likes shit?!

Good diet trumps just about everything in life, in my opinion, including money.
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BayGBM
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« Reply #115 on: April 04, 2011, 01:23:17 PM »

"And he took savings to an extreme. For example, he eats breakfast and dinner every day at fast-food places where he always orders off the $1 menu, and lunch is usually a 75-cent microwave burrito."

What good is having a big savings if he's going croak before getting to enjoy it because he eats likes shit?!

Good diet trumps just about everything in life, in my opinion, including money.

No one is endorsing his diet.  Obviously, he could change his diet today if he wanted to.  The point is, coming from a modest background he has made professional and financial choices that have given him a degree of independence that Tom will never know such as: getting an education, saving, investing, taking the long view, persistence in employment, sacrifice, follow through, etc.

A good diet is easily fixed.  Poor professional/financial planning not so much. If you do not believe me, just ask Tom. Sad

Btw, your question could be reversed: what good is living to 100 if you don’t have the resources to support yourself?  For what it’s worth the article goes on to mention that he has changed his diet.

Moehlman, never wanting to do something halfway, bought 25 pounds of oranges from a roadside stand. He also began getting his students to walk with him during recess for more exercise...
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-money-makeover-20110323,0,7626488,full.story


Now, who would you rather trade places with? David Moehlman or Tom? Huh
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« Reply #116 on: November 28, 2011, 08:24:58 AM »

X ray techs make  decent $ and the training is relatively short...8 months i think
Private Pilots...not commercial but yanno...ones that fly shit from point A to B...makes a decent living
Helicopter pilots make good money...plenty of places that train people...for that..just google em
Believe it or not...Truck Drivers (big rigs) make decent money hauling stuff...
or u could do what i do....
http://www.cisco.com/web/learning/le3/learning_career_certifications_and_learning_paths_home.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisco_Career_Certifications
just 2 certifications and you r close to the 100k Range.... the CCNA and CCNP ...
...and it can be done in around 4 months...i did it in under
4 months...thats the good news. The bad news is that ya found PT classes hard..i dont think they r hard...actually pretty easy..so you might have to put in more time and more importantly ITS HIGH TIME YOU STOP LOOKING FOR A DREAM CARREER AND PICK SOMETHING  AND STICK WITH IT.Just think...if you start tomorrow..at 50 yrs of age you'll ONLY have 5 yrs of experience (experience = $)...so...GROW the fuck up...i got a wake up call last yr and at 33 & I FEEL BEHIND my 27 yr old friend that also does what i do. IF you pick the cisco path...its not easy..but STICK TO IT and maybe in 2 yrs you can be making close to 80k...get your CCNP...move to a tech heavy area...like VA or DC or Maryland or North Carolina and you'll land a 80k/yr job...that i can promise u
...G'luck


I'm super interested in this.  Did you have any previous IT training or experience?  What type of learning did you do?  How hard was finding a job while getting certified or after certification?  Thanks...your post has inspired me!
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« Reply #117 on: December 06, 2011, 07:31:59 PM »

Tom?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlW3yKu6OC4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlW3yKu6OC4</a>
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« Reply #118 on: December 06, 2011, 07:46:48 PM »

LOL...
It's almost two-and-a-half years later and Tom is still getting shit for his OP.
It would be interesting to know what things are like for him now, but I doubt he'll pop in here.

I hope he's been able to achieve at least some improvement in his life!
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BayGBM
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« Reply #119 on: December 16, 2011, 12:26:35 PM »

LOL...
It's almost two-and-a-half years later and Tom is still getting shit for his OP.
It would be interesting to know what things are like for him now, but I doubt he'll pop in here.

I hope he's been able to achieve at least some improvement in his life!

A good self owning never gets old.  This one has to go down in the owning Hall of Fame.  Embarrassed
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« Reply #120 on: December 16, 2011, 01:21:50 PM »

A good self owning never gets old.  This one has to go down in the owning Hall of Fame.  Embarrassed

Agreed! I never read this thread before today, when I read Tom's original post, not noticing how long ago he'd posted this. I was even taking mental notes to use in composing a reply to him (which I won't bother doing since so much time has passed since he posted). I kept thinking how do I reply in a positive way to someone who is such a total loser?

I was a late bloomer according to some of my relatives. Although I am college educated, I never bothered with getting a degree. My first career was in an art related field.

When I was almost forty years old, I looked around at all my twenty-something co-workers and realized that it was time for me to move on. My career was in a holding pattern (going nowhere) and since I was unwilling to return to a major city, such as New York, San Francisco or L.A. where I could advance, I needed to make a change. So at thirty-seven I quit my job. After a year long sabbatical, I took a stopgap position with a school district. Twenty-seven years later, I retired from working at the school district with a great retirement plan which should sustain me without the need to work until whenever I die.

What is most important, is in looking back I have no regrets. I never made really big money, but so what? My family and I lived well and happily. Most of the time, I enjoyed working and the folks I worked with. Sure there were some moments here and there where I thought things should have gone differently, like when the school district contracted out my job and I was faced with either quitting or accepting a lesser position, neither of which was ideal since I was then fifty years old. I decided to hang in there and ride out the time until I could retire which ended up being a good decision.

I don't believe Tom will have be happy with what he is doing for a living. No one is going to hand him a career and he isn't really willing to work for one either. All he has is excuses for why things aren't going the way he thinks they should. He isn't foreward thinking at all.

I have a lady friend who thought she would marry a rich guy and live in a nice neighborhood with 2.5 kids, etc. She's a year younger than I am. She never married although she's a nice looking and intelligent woman. She never really had a career or even stuck with any job for very long. Today, she lives in her mother's house which she inherited. She collects a meager SSI check each month and when she's lucky she finds some temp work. Obviously, she didn't do something right. She's not happy.

The moral of this post, Tom (should you ever happen to read it), is that life is what you make of it.
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BayGBM
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« Reply #121 on: February 02, 2012, 12:15:53 PM »

Primemuscle: you just affirmed the advice I gave two years ago.  Kiss


-- as someone suggested, with your degree you could become certified to teach in a local school district.  No one gets rich being a teacher, but I think most people would agree that teaching is a more respectable profession than “working only part time as a manager at a recreational center.”  Good school districts require all teachers to eventually get a master’s degree at some point in their career.  But the district may have many options surrounding this requirement including helping you pay for the degree.

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« Reply #122 on: February 02, 2012, 01:03:32 PM »

hi, well according to california muscle i need to come back and reply to all the comments, mostly negative!? why in the hell would i need to do that! positive advice was/would be welcomed, but i guess i was asking too much, but i will state a few things before i sign off:

1)baygbm: you only know what i have told you so don't presume, as far as your sarcastic rolling your eyes icon about how i "only" wanted to be a studio executive, i never said that i expected it to happen overnight, i clearly thought if it did ever happen it would take me a 10 to 20 years or more and i realize that 95 percent of the people in lala land are assholes, nutjobs and not good people and wasn't willing to fill my life with these kind of people 12 to 14 hours a day in the hope that i just might get to be where i want to be and there is no guarentee. so no thank you!

2)victorvondoom: as far as your comment about how i realize i would have to work hard, sacrifice and buckle down and the pt assistant world wasn't glamorous i decided to bail out, YOU KNOW NOTHING. i've worked hard and sacrificed for shit for my entire life! 3 jobs at one time, 70 to 80 hours a week for years and so on. don' presume when you know nothing!

Lol, what were you hoping for everyone to blow smoke up your ass. Part of your problem is your shitty attitude and shitty work ethic. You have all the high ideas but they're fleeting. Call the whambulance whiny bitch!
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« Reply #123 on: February 03, 2012, 08:25:17 PM »

epic mob mentality here... poor tom. maybe look into social housing or something. then you will be set up for life.
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« Reply #124 on: February 05, 2012, 06:25:51 PM »

Bay nails it.  The best advice you're gonna get on this one.

Bay is used to nailing things Cheesy
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