Branch Warren Sequence: The Lost Episode Parts VII and VIII

[_bruce_]

Part XIII
Branch snaps his head to the side and sees his jilted ex-lover aiming her cigarette holder at him.  Branch swings the captive alien gray in front of his body as a shield, and the cigarette holder launches a neon-blue lazer beam.  The beam nails the gray in the chest and leaves a smoking black hole in the hapless alien's now lifeless torso.  Branch military presses the wasted alien over his head and hurls it into the cosmic-kunt, who lets out a shriek as the lifeless alien knocks her onto the floor.  Branch grabs you by the hand and pulls you through a doorway just as the electronic door slams shut.  His hand still holding yours...so strong...could it be...?   Branch looks down at your enjoined hands and, with a look of disdain, drops yours like a hot potato.  "I think the Control Room is this way," says Branch, turning to his right.  The two of you break into a jog down a dimly lit corridor.  "In there!", Branch exclaims.  Branch storms into the Control Room with you bringing up the rear.  A reptilian alien sits at the controls.  He reaches for his lazer gun, but Branch is hotter then a summer night in Hell, and is all over the alien like a cheap suit, grabbing his gun-hand before he can take aim.  Branch easily snaps his wrist then puts the intergalactic thug into a headlock and squeezes his head until his body goes limp in a doomed final moment.  Branch tosses the corpse to the side and takes control of the Mothership...

Awesome 

[Juruth]

Part XIV
Seated in front of the control panel, Branch grasps a lever with a meaty paw and pulls down , meanwhile his other hand deftly pushes blinking lights and whirling gizmos.  But Branch, do you know what your doing?, you muster up the courage to ask.  "Relax," responds the muscular Branch, "If I can fly Uncle Cletus's crop duster, I can fly anything."  Steering the UFO to the right, Branch aims the craft at the Planet Earth, and thrusts a thick, veiny finger into the Hyperspace Button. "Hold on!", shouts Branch.  You grasp onto Branch's left bicep as the UFO enters hyperspace speeds.  You become vaguely aware that you are moving faster than time...colors blur...your ears pop...you dig your fingers deeper into the dense fast twitch fibers of Branch's upper arm.  Then CRASH!  The spacecraft slams into the ground!  You and Branch are thrown about the control room.  Branch is up and throws open the door of the ship, letting in the sunlight.  It's the planet Earth!, Branch hops out of the craft onto the ground, and you follow.  The woods, the trees!  It's Texas!  And look!  It's Branch's hound dog, barking!  He's been waiting faithfully.  You ask Branch what time it is.  "Well I'll be damned", says Branch, looking at his Timex analog watch.  "It's only about two minutes later than when those reptilian bastards snatched us."  And so, you, Branch and the dog slowly head back to the house in silence.

[Wiggs]

Part XIV
Seated in front of the control panel, Branch grasps a lever with a meaty paw and pulls down , meanwhile his other hand deftly pushes blinking lights and whirling gizmos.  But Branch, do you know what your doing?, you muster up the courage to ask.  "Relax," responds the muscular Branch, "If I can fly Uncle Cletus's crop duster, I can fly anything."  Steering the UFO to the right, Branch aims the craft at the Planet Earth, and thrusts a thick, veiny finger into the Hyperspace Button. "Hold on!", shouts Branch.  You grasp onto Branch's left bicep as the UFO enters hyperspace speeds.  You become vaguely aware that you are moving faster than time...colors blur...your ears pop...you dig your fingers deeper into the dense fast twitch fibers of Branch's upper arm.  Then CRASH!  The spacecraft slams into the ground!  You and Branch are thrown about the control room.  Branch is up and throws open the door of the ship, letting in the sunlight.  It's the planet Earth!, Branch hops out of the craft onto the ground, and you follow.  The woods, the trees!  It's Texas!  And look!  It's Branch's hound dog, barking!  He's been waiting faithfully.  You ask Branch what time it is.  "Well I'll be damned", says Branch, looking at his Timex analog watch.  "It's only about two minutes later than when those reptilian bastards snatched us."  And so, you, Branch and the dog slowly head back to the house in silence.

lmao!

[brooklynbruiser]

Is this the conclusion? Excellent!

[nycbull]

great work!!

[Captain Equipoise]

Excellent, what is next in the Branch Agenda ?

[DeketheCreep]

jehwits Dream Come True  

[Juruth]

Part X
Branch stood at the old stove, stirring his morning egg whites in the skillet. The aroma of percolating coffee gave a pleasant sense of hope to this new morning, while the smell of toast began joining this little symphony of down-home country cookin'. Branch stood there in his apron, muttering a little prayer to himself, thanking the Lord Jesus Christ for his big muscles. Just then, there was knock on the door. Spatula in his iron grip, Branch opened the door to find a man in a gray suit standing before him. Tall and thin with an air of officiality about himself, the man began: "Branch Warren?", the clean shaven stranger drawled in a southern accent.
"Yes?"
"My name is Mr. Jessup. And I'm here to ask you about an incident that took place in those woods behind your house a couple of years back. Branch, I'm here to ask you about the day you were abducted by a team of Aliens."

[Wiggs]

Part X
Branch stood at the old stove, stirring his morning egg whites in the skillet. The aroma of percolating coffee gave a pleasant sense of hope to this new morning, while the smell of toast began joining this little symphony of down-home country cookin'. Branch stood there in his apron, muttering a little prayer to himself, thanking the Lord Jesus Christ for his big muscles. Just then, there was knock on the door. Spatula in his iron grip, Branch opened the door to find a man in a gray suit standing before him. Tall and thin with an air of officiality about himself, the man began: "Branch Warren?", the clean shaven stranger drawled in a southern accent.
"Yes?"
"My name is Mr. Jessup. And I'm here to ask you about an incident that took place in those woods behind your house a couple of years back. Branch, I'm here to ask you about the day you were abducted by a team of Aliens."

Is Branch naked under the apron?

[Mr Nobody]

Is Branch naked under the apron?

Are you saying he is Scottish you know they were the kilts no underwear included.

[_bruce_]

Part X
Branch stood at the old stove, stirring his morning egg whites in the skillet. The aroma of percolating coffee gave a pleasant sense of hope to this new morning, while the smell of toast began joining this little symphony of down-home country cookin'. Branch stood there in his apron, muttering a little prayer to himself, thanking the Lord Jesus Christ for his big muscles. Just then, there was knock on the door. Spatula in his iron grip, Branch opened the door to find a man in a gray suit standing before him. Tall and thin with an air of officiality about himself, the man began: "Branch Warren?", the clean shaven stranger drawled in a southern accent.
"Yes?"
"My name is Mr. Jessup. And I'm here to ask you about an incident that took place in those woods behind your house a couple of years back. Branch, I'm here to ask you about the day you were abducted by a team of Aliens."