I have this one, I think uncle, who is over 75. He's a bit of a grump, as I guess we will all be when we hit 75, and he sits at the main table (the one I studiously avoid). He looks at me then laboriously and painfully rises from his chair and makes his way towards me. (Dear God, no!)
"So what happened to your face?" referring to the minute shiner I have over my right eye.
"Oh, I got bumped in the face," I reply, avoiding eye contact.
"What do you mean bumped? How do you bump your face?"
"I was horsing around and took a head butt?"
"Head butt? How? From one of the kids?"
"No, I still do that Jiu-Jitsu thing every now and then?"
"What? What Jew-Jew? What are you talking about?"
"It's kind of like Judo and Wrestling."
"What? You do that with other men? Why do you do stuff like that? Stop it."
"Yah, you're probably right?"
"What's wrong with you? You still exercise?"
"Can't you tell?" as I kind of do a most muscular in an attempt at humor.
"What? What are you talking about?" he replies with this angry frustrated look on his face.
Dear God, please strike with a coma for the next five hours. I don't really like turkey that much.