It's all in good fun!
9:15 AM. Ben Roethlisberger wakes up under a pile of beer cans. Practice started at 8 but **** it. The Steelers defense comes in and carries him to the bathroom, where he runs the hot water to clean the deep nail scratches and dried blood he got all over his arms from the night before.
"Don't remember what happened...must have gone raccoon wrestling with my bros again. Hmm."
Ben begins to wonder where the fist full of blonde hair in his right hand came from, but shrugs it off and his the Steelers defensive line carry him down the stairs to the kitchen. He's about to leave the house and head to practice on his sweet motorcycle when he sees the mostly unused helmet he bought a couple years ago.
Should Ben:
A. Put on his helmet and head to practice.
B. Helmets are for girls. Just jump on the bike. Wheeeeee!
C. Pound 8 beers and bring the helmet so you have something to puke in.
D. Rape the helmet.