The Croatch envy runs deeps with James here.
It does. All I need to do is hack three inches off my height, four inches off my dick size.. get covered in really cool, highly tasteful *body art*; aspire to a fulfilling career (something like personal trainer would be challenging I think)... refer to myself in the third person as often as possible.. look, walk, talk and think.. like an aimless douchebag - and life would be p e r f e c t.
If I could just somehow manage ^ that ^.. I’d have the world by the short and curlies, I’m sure of it.