it is now 1:58 am, and this thread is at 7 pages. That's 7 pages of attention for Lundgren. As i said before, getbig is not the place for attention nor to "solve" your problems. None of here here are "professionals", when it comes to these situations. As I said, make a list what needs to be confronted, rectified, and analyzed. Because as you get older, it will get worse, because you have already gone into justification mode...imagine 5 yrs down the road. Are you trying to be the next Unibomber?