I thought this was hilarious...........some fat ho talking about her fat ass husband........turtle head penis? LMAO!
I wasn't sure how to deal with my husband's obesity (has acute cardiomyopathy, blood pressure issues, and is about 285). I've done the "I'm just not that into you" talk because of the limited sexual positions, his grotesque belly, and yes, although I've never said it, the turtle head penis. But your thread about treating him with respect isn't what I'm doing. I push him away while he is trying to be affectionate. I don't want to kiss him as he wishes to be kissed b/c I'm afraid I'll have to get naked with him. I know I do that but I don't know how to get past my feelings about his severe obesity and the fact that if I do give him any kind of attention, it means to HIM that I want to go to bed with him when I so don't. I'm actually up late right now so that he'll be asleep when I get there. It's really difficult living this way esp if I'm honest, he's my best friend. I'm certainly not treating him like one but can't get past how I see him!
I too have been working out, am losing slowly but surely, and simply see him getting larger as he awaits a Lap Band surgery which I think has given him license to eat. I also worry that b/c of his eating habits, the Lap Band probably won't work and his weight, with the bad heart, will kill him. I'm hoping that you will read this and give me the right words to say so that I can break it to him easily that I do love him, he's my best friend, but I don't want to have sex with him b/c of this lack of attraction. He has never judged me for weight gain after 4 children so I feel badly about how I feel about him; however, I've never been 100 pounds overweight: I'm about 40 over and am 18 less than when I started this journey of healthy living so it's a start!
I hope that you're still on this thread and can offer some advice for loving kindness from me as well as dealing with the issues of decreased sexual desire for him. I appreciate someone's comment about getting into the fact that his penis is smaller than when we married, that I don't enjoy the sex, so I opt out. How can I get this message across to him honestly without crushing him emotionally.
Thanks so much,
Trying So Hard to Find a Way